35 Questions Black People Have For White People

[Bronzeage]

What's with all the Aerosmith hate? They make quality music and the existence of band was responsible for Steven Tyler being able to bang a hot enough woman to give birth to Liv Tyler. There's no way that a man who looks like him could have tapped an ass that fine without being in a famous band. Regardless of one's opinion of their music, the fact that Liv Tyler exists because of it more than compensates negative opinion of their work.

Music's dirty little secret is that Steven Tyler is actually Liv Tyler's mother.

 

[Rhea]

And today, thanks to washcloths and bad dancing, I learn about Liv Tyler.

 

[Bronzeage]

And today, thanks to washcloths and bad dancing, I learn about Liv Tyler.

Liv Tyler was scheduled to appear in the next Marvel Avengers move as Whitegirl, but the character didn't test well with focus groups.

 

[Toni]

Go to post 59, click the video and you tell me.

(BTW, Aerosmith is not gonna make my favorite top ten acts of all time, but the song Cryin' kicks ass.)

Aerosmith is the absolute zero of music suckage. It's the point at which all musical notation ceases to exist. It was not thought possible to actually reach musical zero until the release of "Walk This Way." At that point, the Heisenberg Infidelity Principle explains that listening to Aerosmith makes it impossible to hear it and many people mistake it for music, in the absence of music.

Don't make me say, "It's a white thing. You wouldn't understand."

The only thing to say is: Cat Scratch Fever.

Well, there's a LOT a lot that's worse than Aerosmith but why not go straight to the bottom of the barrel.

If Aeorosmith is absolute zero, I am only glad that I am not a math major and thus lack sufficient math skills to rank Ted Nugent, except: pretty rank.

Dammit: now I've got that damn bit of noise stuck in my head. Ugh.

 

[Tom Sawyer]

And today, thanks to washcloths and bad dancing, I learn about Liv Tyler.

Liv Tyler was scheduled to appear in the next Marvel Avengers move as Whitegirl, but the character didn't test well with focus groups.

Well, they shouldn't have gone into black communities to do the focus groups. Everybody knows that those people suck at taking tests.

 

[Jason Harvestdancer]

You're both unintentionally comical.

Lol they are. And Derec, she is. She was in this very thread long before your post above. <edited>.

Would that be the empty post on the top of page 2?

 

[Toni]

What's with all the Aerosmith hate? They make quality music and the existence of band was responsible for Steven Tyler being able to bang a hot enough woman to give birth to Liv Tyler. There's no way that a man who looks like him could have tapped an ass that fine without being in a famous band. Regardless of one's opinion of their music, the fact that Liv Tyler exists because of it more than compensates negative opinion of their work.

Note to Tom Sawyer: Please note the following entry from the Merriam-Webster online dictionary:

quality
noun qual·i·ty \ˈkwä-lə-tē\

: how good or bad something is

Quality does not come in just high quality but also in poor, mediocre, sub-par, and so on. Aerosmith's music is not positively correlated with the ability of any of its band member's to procreate nor to procreate beautiful offspring.

 

[Bronzeage]

Aerosmith is the absolute zero of music suckage. It's the point at which all musical notation ceases to exist. It was not thought possible to actually reach musical zero until the release of "Walk This Way." At that point, the Heisenberg Infidelity Principle explains that listening to Aerosmith makes it impossible to hear it and many people mistake it for music, in the absence of music.

Don't make me say, "It's a white thing. You wouldn't understand."

The only thing to say is: Cat Scratch Fever.

Well, there's a LOT a lot that's worse than Aerosmith but why not go straight to the bottom of the barrel.

If Aeorosmith is absolute zero, I am only glad that I am not a math major and thus lack sufficient math skills to rank Ted Nugent, except: pretty rank.

Dammit: now I've got that damn bit of noise stuck in my head. Ugh.

Cat Scratch Fever is very close to musical zero and if Run DMC had joined the video, it might have been the end of life as we know it. As we learned many years later, Ted would never have considered such a thing, which illustrates how latent racism may have saved the planet.

- - - Updated - - -

Liv Tyler was scheduled to appear in the next Marvel Avengers move as Whitegirl, but the character didn't test well with focus groups.

Well, they shouldn't have gone into black communities to do the focus groups. Everybody knows that those people suck at taking tests.

She actually did rather well in black focus groups. The problem was the costume. There didn't seem to be any possible design which could maintain the Whitegirl persona and a PG-13 rating at the same time.

 

[Tom Sawyer]

Aerosmith's music is not positively correlated with the ability of any of its band member's to procreate nor to procreate beautiful offspring.

Of course it is. The music gets the groupies and getting the groupies leads to having sex with the groupies, which leads to babies. The groupie in question is a Playboy Playmate who made a point of only dating rock musicians and cultural icons. Absent Aerosmith's music, Steven Tyler doesn't geta within a hundred miles of Bebe Buell and Liv Tyler never exists.

Regardless of one's opinion of Aerosmith's music, Liv Tyler does not happen without Aerosmith's music making it happen. Any negative aspects of the music are vastly overshadowed by this positive outcome of it.

 

[Tom Sawyer]

She actually did rather well in black focus groups. The problem was the costume. There didn't seem to be any possible design which could maintain the Whitegirl persona and a PG-13 rating at the same time.

OK, I thought you were kidding. I didn't know there was such a character as Whitegirl. I tried googling it and I still don't know that there's such a character as Whitegirl.

Is her super power getting her daddy to fight crime for her while she goes shopping?

 

[Bronzeage]

She actually did rather well in black focus groups. The problem was the costume. There didn't seem to be any possible design which could maintain the Whitegirl persona and a PG-13 rating at the same time.

OK, I thought you were kidding. I didn't know there was such a character as Whitegirl. I tried googling it and I still don't know that there's such a character as Whitegirl.

Is her super power getting her daddy to fight crime for her while she goes shopping?

Her father was killed in a tragic gardening accident, but she has that power over all men.

 

[ZiprHead]

The only thing to say is: Cat Scratch Fever.

Well, there's a LOT a lot that's worse than Aerosmith but why not go straight to the bottom of the barrel.

If Aeorosmith is absolute zero, I am only glad that I am not a math major and thus lack sufficient math skills to rank Ted Nugent, except: pretty rank.

Dammit: now I've got that damn bit of noise stuck in my head. Ugh.

Cat Scratch Fever is very close to musical zero and if Run DMC had joined the video, it might have been the end of life as we know it. As we learned many years later, Ted would never have considered such a thing, which illustrates how latent racism may have saved the planet.

At least Aerosmith and Ted Nugent songs make some lyrical sense. My BiL is big into hair bands, loves Ronnie James Dio. Holy Diver! WTF!?! What the hell is that song even about, beside being a display of maximum song-writing suckage?

 

[Bronzeage]

Cat Scratch Fever is very close to musical zero and if Run DMC had joined the video, it might have been the end of life as we know it. As we learned many years later, Ted would never have considered such a thing, which illustrates how latent racism may have saved the planet.

At least Aerosmith and Ted Nugent songs make some lyrical sense. My BiL is big into hair bands, loves Ronnie James Dio. Holy Diver! WTF!?! What the hell is that song even about, beside being a display of maximum song-writing suckage?

When a song approaches musical zero, the normal rules no longer govern. At somewhere around MZ+7, humans can no longer actually hear either the lyrics or the tune, but are aware there should be some.

 

[Toni]

Cat Scratch Fever is very close to musical zero and if Run DMC had joined the video, it might have been the end of life as we know it. As we learned many years later, Ted would never have considered such a thing, which illustrates how latent racism may have saved the planet.

At least Aerosmith and Ted Nugent songs make some lyrical sense. My BiL is big into hair bands, loves Ronnie James Dio. Holy Diver! WTF!?! What the hell is that song even about, beside being a display of maximum song-writing suckage?

Again: Cat Scratch Fever.

There is absolutely no way that shit makes sense. Plus, and most importantly: it just sounds....bad.

 

[Bronzeage]

At least Aerosmith and Ted Nugent songs make some lyrical sense. My BiL is big into hair bands, loves Ronnie James Dio. Holy Diver! WTF!?! What the hell is that song even about, beside being a display of maximum song-writing suckage?

Again: Cat Scratch Fever.

There is absolutely no way that shit makes sense. Plus, and most importantly: it just sounds....bad.

Well, the first time that I got it I was just ten years old
I got it from some kitty next door
An' I went to see the doctor and he gave me the cure
I think I got it some more

It's not that complicated. A fifth grader could decipher it, but that is not anything to its credit. Under laboratory conditions, "Cat Scratch Fever" is bad, but when compared to "Walk This Way", CSF levitates on a plasma field of mediocrity. This was predicted by Stephen Hawking, but not actually observed until the Hadron Collider Research labs were wired for sound.

 

[Ford]

At least Aerosmith and Ted Nugent songs make some lyrical sense. My BiL is big into hair bands, loves Ronnie James Dio. Holy Diver! WTF!?! What the hell is that song even about, beside being a display of maximum song-writing suckage?

Again: Cat Scratch Fever.

There is absolutely no way that shit makes sense. Plus, and most importantly: it just sounds....bad.

The scary thing is I can do this without having to look up the lyrics...

"Well I don't know where they come from but they sure do come,

I hope they coming for me.

And I don't know how they do it but they sure do it good,

I hope they doing it for free."

Gee, what could Ted possibly be talking about?

(chorus) "They give me cat scratch fever...(repeats with guitar licks)

"Well the first time that I got it I was just 10 years old,

I got it from some kitty next door.

Well I went to see the doctor and he gave me the cure,

I think I got it some more...(chorus)"


There's more, but I think 'ole Uncle Ted may be using a metaphor. I'm led to believe this because when performing it live (I've seen it...don't ask) he replaces the word "kitty" with "pussy."


It is a mystery not easily solved, but if you'd like to delve deeper into his lyrical opaqueness, I suggest his hit song "Wang Dang Sweet Poontang."

 

[Toni]

Again: Cat Scratch Fever.

There is absolutely no way that shit makes sense. Plus, and most importantly: it just sounds....bad.

The scary thing is I can do this without having to look up the lyrics...

"Well I don't know where they come from but they sure do come,

I hope they coming for me.

And I don't know how they do it but they sure do it good,

I hope they doing it for free."

Gee, what could Ted possibly be talking about?

(chorus) "They give me cat scratch fever...(repeats with guitar licks)

"Well the first time that I got it I was just 10 years old,

I got it from some kitty next door.

Well I went to see the doctor and he gave me the cure,

I think I got it some more...(chorus)"


There's more, but I think 'ole Uncle Ted may be using a metaphor. I'm led to believe this because when performing it live (I've seen it...don't ask) he replaces the word "kitty" with "pussy."


It is a mystery not easily solved, but if you'd like to delve deeper into his lyrical opaqueness, I suggest his hit song "Wang Dang Sweet Poontang."

Clearly, I have been blocking out the actual lyrics. Now I have to try to wash myself clean.

 

[WAB]

Go to post 59, click the video and you tell me.

(BTW, Aerosmith is not gonna make my favorite top ten acts of all time, but the song Cryin' kicks ass.)

Aerosmith is the absolute zero of music suckage. It's the point at which all musical notation ceases to exist. It was not thought possible to actually reach musical zero until the release of "Walk This Way." At that point, the Heisenberg Infidelity Principle explains that listening to Aerosmith makes it impossible to hear it and many people mistake it for music, in the absence of music.

Don't make me say, "It's a white thing. You wouldn't understand."

Aerosmith kicked ass from 1973 through 1979, then they started to decline. How can one not like "Walk This Way"? At least until Run DMC revived it by ruining it.

 

[T.G.G. Moogly]

I know this is intended as a humorous thread but it's still asinine. The title and questions shouldn't be about blacks and whites but about discriminators and discriminatees. That way you could at least ask a question or two about kikes, chinks, wops, hunkies, gooks, camel-fuckers, gays, rednecks and others while still including questions about bros and spooks.

And if it hasn't happened already whitey is headed for the minority ticket so I've got to brush up on my ghetto talk and ebonics. Stop using words with hard consonants at the end or just keep them silent. Gotta learn to fit in.

I do like chicken and watermelon so I do have that going for me with at least one group. And I come from a big family but my dad never got behind on any child support and was never on welfare or lived in public housing. But I can give those things a try.

Oh, climb off that high horse of yours already. You are far from the only person here who grew up poor and white. Or white. Maybe try learning to laugh at yourself now and then. And if you can't do that then just contemplate the following:

If there's no one to feel better than, then there's no one to feel less than, either.

But the view from up here is great! Don't take my word for it. Ask Athena!

 

[Potoooooooo]

2. Why do y’all dance like that?
We have things in our butts that shouldn't be there like gerbils and light bulbs.

DUDE, you were supposed to keep that a secret!