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Things that make you laugh...

Loren Pechtel said:
gmbteach said:
WOW! That is a clever pudda tat!
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She was clever. She was semi-feral (living on her own but apparently cared for at some point--when we took her in for spaying the vet went in--oops, already done) when we took her in, she had learned to solve problems on her own rather than just cry for human help. (Example: My mother's cat--empty food bowl, he would complain. My cat--empty food bowl, she would hunt down the bag of cat food. When that resulted in her getting locked in a closet she would simply wait for someone to open the door, she wouldn't make a fuss.)
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With the spaying, all of ours have tattoos in their ears to signify that they are spayed. They don't do that there?

With the food, our cats do whinge, whine, meow, complain, pat, claw, dig in, annoy etc until they are fed. They know where their food is kept, but also know that it is up to their humans to get it for them!
 
gmbteach said:
Loren Pechtel said:
She was clever. She was semi-feral (living on her own but apparently cared for at some point--when we took her in for spaying the vet went in--oops, already done) when we took her in, she had learned to solve problems on her own rather than just cry for human help. (Example: My mother's cat--empty food bowl, he would complain. My cat--empty food bowl, she would hunt down the bag of cat food. When that resulted in her getting locked in a closet she would simply wait for someone to open the door, she wouldn't make a fuss.)
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With the spaying, all of ours have tattoos in their ears to signify that they are spayed. They don't do that there?
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This was nearly 40 years ago. Things have probably changed since.

With the food, our cats do whinge, whine, meow, complain, pat, claw, dig in, annoy etc until they are fed. They know where their food is kept, but also know that it is up to their humans to get it for them!
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That described my mother's cat, although I don't think he even cared where it was stored.
 
RavenSky said:
Atheos said:
So are humans, from the perspective of the mantis shrimp. :D
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So not only do they have 16 color receptors, they have "murder sticks" that can break the glass in aquariums :hysterical:

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/mantis_shrimp

Thank you for the best new thing in my world today

:hysterical:

They are, however, more color-blind than human :p

http://www.nature.com/news/mantis-shrimp-s-super-colour-vision-debunked-1.14578
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Awww... so sad. Next you're going to break my world apart by telling me the murder sticks are really just boxing gloves. :(
 
No, they're murder sticks. My coworkers spent the day looking up youtubes of mantis shrimp beating the fuck out of octopi, clams, crabs in test tubes, slow moving researchers, etc.
 
So, I'm at McDonald's for lunch and two tables away from me, an elderly woman's phone goes off. Her ringtone is from Despicable Me 2. The firefighter response scene, where one Minion has a bullhorn and plays Siren (Nee-naw, Nee-naw, Nee-naw...). That's her ringtone.

She checks the phone and puts it back down to finish her meal.
Some wit at the next table says, "That's funny. Did your grandson load his own ring tone?"
In a frost voice, she says, "I don't have grandchildren. I pirated a copy of the movie, isolated that scene, lifted the sound off the soundtrack, and made my own god damned ringtone all by my little old self."

The wit fled. I smiled at her. "I guess he's luck you didn't just hit him?"

She sighed. "No, the judge said he won't let me off with a warning next time."
 
Keith&Co. said:
So, I'm at McDonald's for lunch and two tables away from me, an elderly woman's phone goes off. Her ringtone is from Despicable Me 2. The firefighter response scene, where one Minion has a bullhorn and plays Siren (Nee-naw, Nee-naw, Nee-naw...). That's her ringtone.

She checks the phone and puts it back down to finish her meal.
Some wit at the next table says, "That's funny. Did your grandson load his own ring tone?"
In a frost voice, she says, "I don't have grandchildren. I pirated a copy of the movie, isolated that scene, lifted the sound off the soundtrack, and made my own god damned ringtone all by my little old self."

The wit fled. I smiled at her. "I guess he's luck you didn't just hit him?"

She sighed. "No, the judge said he won't let me off with a warning next time."
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Nice of you to take your mother to lunch...
 
I do love my mom, and she's likely to reply in that manner (with a few more swears), but my heart is taken.

We JUST celebrated our 29th anniversary last Sunday and i've never looked back.
I can't.
She's RIGHT THERE with a bat. Admittedly, a whiffle bat, but still a bat.
 
jonatha said:
Keith&Co. said:
So, I'm at McDonald's for lunch and two tables away from me, an elderly woman's phone goes off. Her ringtone is from Despicable Me 2. The firefighter response scene, where one Minion has a bullhorn and plays Siren (Nee-naw, Nee-naw, Nee-naw...). That's her ringtone.

She checks the phone and puts it back down to finish her meal.
Some wit at the next table says, "That's funny. Did your grandson load his own ring tone?"
In a frost voice, she says, "I don't have grandchildren. I pirated a copy of the movie, isolated that scene, lifted the sound off the soundtrack, and made my own god damned ringtone all by my little old self."

The wit fled. I smiled at her. "I guess he's luck you didn't just hit him?"

She sighed. "No, the judge said he won't let me off with a warning next time."
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Nice of you to take your mother to lunch...
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spikepipsqueak said:
Yeah, and I get why you weren't game to sit at the same table. :)
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GMTA!
 
A coworker was tasked with answering a question from another department. He didn't know the answer, so he asked me. I gave him the answer.

A day later, another coworker was tasked with doing a fact check on 1st coworker's reply. I smiled quietly to myself and verified that my original answer was still the answer.

The person asking the question was unsatisfied with Coworker A's response and Coworker B's factchecking, so he asked me directly. I reiterated my initial and repeated answer.

I hope I've been right all three times. I mean, I haven't actually looked up the answer, but then, no one else has, either.
 
Keith&Co. said:
A coworker was tasked with answering a question from another department. He didn't know the answer, so he asked me. I gave him the answer.

A day later, another coworker was tasked with doing a fact check on 1st coworker's reply. I smiled quietly to myself and verified that my original answer was still the answer.

The person asking the question was unsatisfied with Coworker A's response and Coworker B's factchecking, so he asked me directly. I reiterated my initial and repeated answer.

I hope I've been right all three times. I mean, I haven't actually looked up the answer, but then, no one else has, either.
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:laughing-smiley-014
 
Keith&Co. said:
A coworker was tasked with answering a question from another department. He didn't know the answer, so he asked me. I gave him the answer.

A day later, another coworker was tasked with doing a fact check on 1st coworker's reply. I smiled quietly to myself and verified that my original answer was still the answer.

The person asking the question was unsatisfied with Coworker A's response and Coworker B's factchecking, so he asked me directly. I reiterated my initial and repeated answer.

I hope I've been right all three times. I mean, I haven't actually looked up the answer, but then, no one else has, either.
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Reminds me of a set of phone calls several years ago:

Call #1, young female voice asking for the person I know to be the former owner of the number. He was apparently a field supervisor for a homebuilder in town. I explained that that was the limit of my knowledge about the guy, this hadn't been his number for quite some time at that point.

Call #2, a few minutes later, somewhat older male voice for the same person, they get the same answer.

Call #3, a few minutes later, older male voice for the same person, they get the same answer. All I can figure is some executive type had an underling call about some issue and when they failed the fact that it was an old number didn't register, each layer tried it again.
 
Group opinion on a line's humor requested. I saw this in a TV trailer about treasure hunters, and I think it needed work.

Which is funnier?


1. Person A: It would be the Holy Grail of treasure!

Person B: Actually, the Holy Grail is the Holy Grail of treasure.



or


2. Person A: It would be the Holy Grail of treasure!

Person B: Actually, the Holy Grail of treasure is the Holy Grail.

 
So, my friend got off work and found a number of texts, phone messages, emails... Her husband used everything but smoke signals to tell her that VISA had noticed an unusual order on their card. $4900 for 'Atomic Shoes.' But it was out of character for their account, so they were not holding friend and Mr. friend accountable for the purchase.
She saw all this, smiled and mischievously responded to exactly one message, his shortest text with the least information. Her reply: "What? Did you stop my shoe order?"

I thought it was hilarious. SHE thought it was hilarious.


Last i heard, she is still attempting to pacify Mr. friend. He is officially on record as not finding it hilarious. At all.
 
Saw a smart kid, about three years old, at Pizza Hut at dinner.
He came in and saw the basket of peppermints. He wanted one, but they were out of reach.
He thought about it for a second, then went to the empty booth behind the drink counter, climbed up into the seat and reached over the back to grab a peppermint. Pretty straightforward problem solving without just pointing and crying.

Then went back to stand by Mom as she made her order. Tried to open the package with teeth and nails, to no avail.
Mom asked for the candy. He hesitated to give it to her. He kinda wanted her to open it, but didn't want to hand it over if she was going to throw it away. Finally Mom got the candy, opened the wrapper, then tried to tell him he wouldn't like the flavor.

It looked like candy, he wanted the candy. She gave him the peppermint. Once it touched his tongue, he pushed it to one side of his mouth, then the other, then spat it out ("Phlack-ptui!") onto the table. Mom picked it up with a napkin and threw it away.

So, she's got her phone, the kid's older brother has an ipad, kid has nothing to occupy his time. He finds the shaker of crushed red pepper. Mom says he won't like it. He sprinkles it on his hand and licks it up. PhlackPTUII!
Mom puts the pepper shaker back.

He picks up the parmesan cheese shaker. Once more, Mom says he won't like it. He looks at the shaker for a long, long time. Then puts is back where it belongs, untested.

Not a genius, but a relatively quick learner...
 
I work for a military contractor, almost exclusively for equipment found on nuclear missile submarines. We have many former missile technicians in the office. A few other submariners. And our boss is a former surface officer.

A running gag around the office concerns just how hard it is for surface ships to detect modern subs, much less track them well enough to play Anti-submarine warfare games. We used to play these games regularly, and unless the surface ships were very lucky, we ended up having to give our position away so they could try to sink us.
Thus this cartoon was terribly appropriate and sent to our boss.
polo.jpg

Now, every time I pass him, I say "Polo." Or I did until this morning.
My wife suggested I say 'Ralph Lauren' as I went by. He seemed confused...
 
Last edited:
Keith&Co. said:
I work for a military contractor, almost exclusively for equipment found on nuclear missile submarines. We have many former missile technicians in the office. A few other submariners. And our boss is a former surface officer.

A running gag around the office concerns just how hard it is for surface ships to detect modern subs, much less track them well enough to play Anti-submarine warfare games. We used to play these games regularly, and unless the surface ships were very lucky, we ended up having to give our position away so they could try to sink us.
Thus this cartoon was terribly appropriate and sent to our boss.

View attachment 7526
Now, every time I pass him, I say "Polo." Or I did until this morning.
My wife suggested I say 'Ralph Lauren' as I went by. He seemed confused...
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Invalid attachment. :(
 
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