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Things that make you laugh...

"things that make you laugh" includes 'laughing because the option is felony assault,' right?

I'm beginning to wonder which is worse...teaching dumb people or teaching really, really smart people.

Dumb people I can teach by going higher and higher level, less detail, various analogies. "That makes the nuclear warhead like SUPERMAN, flying down into the atmosphere like that one scene in the movie, right?" Just keep lowering my expectations until they're where I need them to be for new information to be reliably transmitted. Then build on that.

When they're really smart, though, they bring TOO MUCH to the conversation. I have to figure out what's wrong with their assumptions before I can recalibrate them to get the point across.
I imagine if this class was across the river in Boston. "One if by land, two if by sea."
"What if one's burned out?"
"I'm sorry?"
"Well, if I see one light, how do I know if the intention is one light. Maybe I'm seeing the second light, but there's a problem with the first light?"
"If you see one light, just go with the one-light instructions."
"But it may be that they didn't mean one light-"
"I know, but I would rather that you operated on what you actually see than on what you think you might have not seen."
"But that may be wrong!"
"It might. But at least if I find out they've sent the wrong message, I can figure out where to find you later to correct it."
"Oh. Okay."
"So, we're all on the same page?"
"I just think maybe if light number one was green and light number two was red, then if I only saw one red light, I'd know it was supposed to be two lights."
"Oh! But what if it's the red light that burned out? Then seeing a green light could still mean they were supposed to-"
"I suppose they could have a parity bit lantern if-"
"QUIET! They don't have any colored lights. They have TWO PLAIN LANTERNS! One will be displayed if they're marching over the Great Bridge, two will be displayed if they're using boats to cross the Charles. YOU guys go left or right, depending on which group needs to be mustered to meet the assault. OKAY?"
"Okay."
"Yeah."
"Sure."
"GREAT! Now let's-"
"What if there's one light, but it's blinking...?"
 
Keith&Co. said:
"things that make you laugh" includes 'laughing because the option is felony assault,' right?

I'm beginning to wonder which is worse...teaching dumb people or teaching really, really smart people.

Dumb people I can teach by going higher and higher level, less detail, various analogies. "That makes the nuclear warhead like SUPERMAN, flying down into the atmosphere like that one scene in the movie, right?" Just keep lowering my expectations until they're where I need them to be for new information to be reliably transmitted. Then build on that.

When they're really smart, though, they bring TOO MUCH to the conversation. I have to figure out what's wrong with their assumptions before I can recalibrate them to get the point across.
I imagine if this class was across the river in Boston. "One if by land, two if by sea."
"What if one's burned out?"
"I'm sorry?"
"Well, if I see one light, how do I know if the intention is one light. Maybe I'm seeing the second light, but there's a problem with the first light?"
"If you see one light, just go with the one-light instructions."
"But it may be that they didn't mean one light-"
"I know, but I would rather that you operated on what you actually see than on what you think you might have not seen."
"But that may be wrong!"
"It might. But at least if I find out they've sent the wrong message, I can figure out where to find you later to correct it."
"Oh. Okay."
"So, we're all on the same page?"
"I just think maybe if light number one was green and light number two was red, then if I only saw one red light, I'd know it was supposed to be two lights."
"Oh! But what if it's the red light that burned out? Then seeing a green light could still mean they were supposed to-"
"I suppose they could have a parity bit lantern if-"
"QUIET! They don't have any colored lights. They have TWO PLAIN LANTERNS! One will be displayed if they're marching over the Great Bridge, two will be displayed if they're using boats to cross the Charles. YOU guys go left or right, depending on which group needs to be mustered to meet the assault. OKAY?"
"Okay."
"Yeah."
"Sure."
"GREAT! Now let's-"
"What if there's one light, but it's blinking...?"
Click to expand...

Do you often talk to yourself like that?
 
13692470_10210212786226097_3626509857009225420_n.jpg
 
My son works for Deck Division on a Cruiser. He recently took over as Damage Control Petty officer for the division and found out that there's a lot of work the previous DCPO didn't do. SO he's running around the ship performing his DC jobs.

The rest of the division doesn't see him doing the division's work, so they assume he's somewhere slacking off.

I suggested that he ask the chief for some help. Not that he can't do the job, but as training for everyone. Pick a person for one day to help weigh the fire extinguishers. Pick someone else to help check the batteries in the emergency flashlights. Sell it to the chief as trainign them up on the damage control equipment AND the damage control equipment maintenance jobs and incidentally reinforcing their knowledge of where all the DC gear is.

I suggested he tell them that that's how we used to do it on the submarine. Which is sort of true. It's more true that the sub was so tiny that there was no way to do any job where the rest of teh division wouldn't see you at it...

Anyway, doing this, the whole division benefits for the above reasons, AND they come to realize that he's actually working, AND it makes all the bitching sailors his bitches. Just don't say that part out loud, for god's sake.
 
I may be a sleeper agent. There's a code phrase that, when I hear it or see it, I begin to do things that I normally wouldn't do. I spend resources that I've reserved for other things. I think about things that make little sense. I behave in ways that make me ashamed of later.

The phrase in question? The keywords that radically change my behavior and thinking?


"Collect the Whole Set!"

 
Looking at aviation charts - Standard Arrival Routes (STARs) for YBBN (Brisbane International Airport), and clearly the people who designed the approach routes over Moreton Bay had a sense of humour.

The waypoint in line with Rwy 19 is called SINNK, and when approaching Rwy 19 from the North East, the five letter waypoint IDs en route are either DRAIN > PLUGG > SINNK, (or DRAIN > GUTTA > DEBAY); and approaching from the South West, they are LEAKY > BOATS > SINNK. Other waypoints in the area include BILBI, which sadly is nowhere near my house, and DUNNI, which fits in nicely with DRAIN > PLUGG > SINNK, if you are familiar with Aussie slang. :D
 
A cop on TV just said, "Everyone in Burbank was literally scared to death."

Funny, I don't remember ever hearing about the whole city of Burbank dying. Something like that surely would have made the news.
 
My facebook plea from yesterday:

" Dear Vladimir,
Please show us Donald's tax returns.
Thanks,
-America "

He hasn't responded yet.
 
So, you can personalize M&Ms.

You can, say, get a big old batch of the candies colored Blue and Gold, much like the designation for the two crews on Boomer submarines.

And you can have some of them printed with your own messages. Subs Rule, say, or Targets Drool. Or Subs Rule, then Skimmers Drool, referring to the way some submarine sailors refer to those ships which only sail upon the surface of the sea (and are thus "Skimmers"), which limits their hiding ability when subs are hunt (thus "Targets").

And you can get a colorful dispenser to spread these cheery confections in the office. The office managed by a retired Surface Warfare officer. One of the few Surface sailors in a unit dedicated to documentation and training for submarine fire control systems.

And he's on a diet.

So he shouldn't have the chocolate, which will delay his discovery of the nature of the messages upon the little colorful shells.

I'm sorry. COULD delay... Since this is surely just a hypothetical idea. At least until 5-7 days shipping have passed, anyway...
 
Keith&Co. said:
So, you can personalize M&Ms.

You can, say, get a big old batch of the candies colored Blue and Gold, much like the designation for the two crews on Boomer submarines.

And you can have some of them printed with your own messages. Subs Rule, say, or Targets Drool. Or Subs Rule, then Skimmers Drool, referring to the way some submarine sailors refer to those ships which only sail upon the surface of the sea (and are thus "Skimmers"), which limits their hiding ability when subs are hunt (thus "Targets").

And you can get a colorful dispenser to spread these cheery confections in the office. The office managed by a retired Surface Warfare officer. One of the few Surface sailors in a unit dedicated to documentation and training for submarine fire control systems.

And he's on a diet.

So he shouldn't have the chocolate, which will delay his discovery of the nature of the messages upon the little colorful shells.

I'm sorry. COULD delay... Since this is surely just a hypothetical idea. At least until 5-7 days shipping have passed, anyway...
Click to expand...

Sneaky, like a proper submariner.
 
The fire alarm went off in my hotel this morning, about 0230 AM. That's not the funny part.

I got up, dressed, went out the hall, down the stairs, out the parking garage to the street. Nothing much amusing there.

People on the street were all kinds of upset that their sleep had been interrupted. I found that a little amusing. I'd far prefer to be woken up because a sensor detected smoke than not find out about it until the smoke filled my room. It just seemed a little silly to bitch about it, you know?

A guy standing next to me got QUITE upset that people were complaining. He had known people who died in their sleep from smoke inhalation, and slept through their burning. He somehow pegged me as former military and kept trying to get me to endorse his efforts to call attention to other people's stupidity. I didn't want to call it stupid. I just figure they haven't thought it through, but if asked, would acknowledge better safe than sorry.
But he went on and on about how stupid they were.

The firemen finally came back out and said that the alarm had stopped, so probably it was someone smoking in their room and they stopped when the alarm went off. My new buddy thought that was stupid. Stupid smoker and a stupid system that didn't tell you exactly who had been smoking. I'm finding this guy less and less amusing as time goes on.

They let us back in. There's a huge line at the counter as we go by. I end up in the elevator with StupidIdentifierMan. On our way up to the third floor, he starts in on how stupid those people are to stand at the counter and complain about lost sleep when they could just go back to sleep. And how stupid it was to complain in the first place.

"Oh, they weren't complaining," I pointed out. "They just had to get a room key because they forgot to grab one when the fire alarm went off."

"HA!" he barks. "That makes them even more stupid."

But then, we get to our respctive doors and StupidIdentifierMan realizes... He's locked himself out of his room. "Well," I said just before shutting my door, "At least most of the stupid people will be done by the time you get back down there... to get at the end of the line..." He swore at me.

Now that's funny.
 
"Well," I said just before shutting my door, "At least most of the stupid people will be done by the time you get back down there... to get at the end of the line..."
Click to expand...

I never think of things to say like that until the next day.
 
James Brown said:
"Well," I said just before shutting my door, "At least most of the stupid people will be done by the time you get back down there... to get at the end of the line..."
Click to expand...

I never think of things to say like that until the next day.
Click to expand...
I lucked out.
My best work comes about 3 am. For once, i needed a good line AT 3 am!
 
I'm getting a colonoscopy this week. My first.
My wife has experienced this procedure, so she's been FULL of advice for me.

When i staged my box of SUPERBOWELPREP in the downstairs bathroom, she told me to get some medicated wipes. As i understand it, the SUPERBOWELPREP will go through me like liquid sandpaper, so she advises much in the way of pampering my tender behind.

So we stopped at a drugstore on the way home. I grabbed some wipes in the diaper aisle. I figure, softer than a baby's bottom, right? No. She insisted i wanted Tucks medicated pads. I looked blank for a second. "You know, in the little squat tub."
I laughed. "I saw what you did there."
Then SHE looks blank.
"I'm going to be confined to a toilet for an hour... Squatting there? Which makes the 'squat' tub appropriate for-"
"I didn't mean it that way," she said.
"No, it's a brilliant pun," I congratulated her. "That makes everything squat. I'll be drinking from a squat bottle, taking a squat, using little squat wipes from a squat tub, and-"
"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!" she insisted. She doesn't mind puns, but the idea that she thinks... along those channels, let's say, that bothers her.
"No, no, it's great! i'm going to tell everyone on the forum how witty you are and-"
"AAAAAAAAAARGH!"


















So if i don't post for a day or two, it may not be a surprise... At least until the swelling goes down and i can see the screen again.
 
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