OK ... I've discovered a slight flaw in my plan. While this did get all the snakes to follow me, it's not exactly mobile and now I'm trapped in this room surrounded by thousands of fucking snakes.
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Caption Contest
- Thread starter Thomas II
- Start date
Mageth
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Dammit, you all had me laughing! All the captions were awesome...but I've got to pick a winner, so the winner is...
Thomas II
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Thanks! Sorry for the wait...
Here we go...
Here we go...
Keith&Co.
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Jimmy Higgins
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You may keep me at bay with your guard ostrich today, but I'll be back when your ostrich is least expecting it!
Mageth
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"Hey, this chicken doesn't fit in the microwave!"
Memo
To: Accounting Department, Police Headquarters
From: SWAT Team Commander
RE: November 13th Expense Claims
When committing armed robberies, criminals are very aware of the possibility of incursions by officers and are on the lookout for it. Sending an ostrich in by the front door to distract them allows SWAT members to sneak in the back and disarm them with minimal risk to civilian hostages.
This is why we spent $10,000 on an ostrich. It wasn't because we were drunk.
To: Accounting Department, Police Headquarters
From: SWAT Team Commander
RE: November 13th Expense Claims
When committing armed robberies, criminals are very aware of the possibility of incursions by officers and are on the lookout for it. Sending an ostrich in by the front door to distract them allows SWAT members to sneak in the back and disarm them with minimal risk to civilian hostages.
This is why we spent $10,000 on an ostrich. It wasn't because we were drunk.
Hickdive
Member
Shortly thereafter the police arrived and, after establishing no-one on the premises was black, left quietly without firing a shot.
bilby
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What kind of shit is this?? I said an Emu, motherfucker!!
hyzer
Veteran Member
And that was when Ted knew he was well and truly fucked - Gloria was never going to believe the reason why he forgot the Ben and Jerry's Peanut Butter Fudge again ......
gmbteach
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Thanks! Sorry for the wait...
Here we go...
That's the friend you are bringing to Thanksgiving Dinner? What a turkey!
Thomas II
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Keith&Co.
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Hickdive
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View attachment 1641
Shortly thereafter the police arrived and, after establishing no-one on the premises was black, left quietly without firing a shot.
Shortly thereafter the police arrived and, after establishing no-one on the premises was black, left quietly without firing a shot.
OK, we've been at this for ten minutes and the glasses are still just filled with fucking water. Why can't you just go to the wine store like everyone else instead of making everything such a god-damned production?
gmbteach
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Boy: Dear lord - let Christmas dinner be better than this fucking measly offering.
Dad: Do I have to wear this goddamn pink sweater? It makes me look like a dandy.
Mum: They better fucking appreciate that it took me 10 minutes to carve and microwave the precooked bought turkey and veg or it's bread and water for Christmas!
Girl: FUCK! they gave me my brother's plate again - I can't eat all this shit!
gender assassination by shirt color in the Fitzpatrick Fitzgerald household
spikepipsqueak
My Brane Hertz
Hungry Buddhist family barely managing forgiveness of the person who put superglue in the soap.
angelo
Deleted
View attachment 1641
Boy, "A bike, give me a god-damn bike!"
Father in pink, " And I sincerely pray that my wife won't find out about my mistress!"
Mother, "And please lord don't let my husband find out about my lover."
Little girl, "Dear Jesus, don't let me be pregnant to little Johnny!"
Boy, "A bike, give me a god-damn bike!"
Father in pink, " And I sincerely pray that my wife won't find out about my mistress!"
Mother, "And please lord don't let my husband find out about my lover."
Little girl, "Dear Jesus, don't let me be pregnant to little Johnny!"
Keith&Co.
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Maybe me LOL AND is going to be my Christmas Card to certain family members...
Winner, Tom.