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Joke gallery

A 15-year-old boy with a red face brings a box of condoms up to the checkout counter. He mumbles to the cashier, "How much are these?"
She says, "Ten dollars, but don't forget the tax."
He makes a horrified expression and whispers,"I thought they just rolled on!"
 
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It's a paradox.

Tell a young man that he has a low sperm count, and he's mad and offended.

Tell the same young man that he can have all the sex that he can find without getting anyone pregnant, and he's thrilled.
 
Second grade. Mrs. Preston is teaching syllables.
"Who can tell us a long word and break it down for us?" A little boy's hand shoots up. "Yes, Cody?"
"Masturbation. Mas. Ter. BAY. Shun."
Teacher wants to get off the subject, so she gives a forced smile and says, "That is quite a mouthful."
"No, Mrs. Preston, you're thinkin' of a blowjob."
 
Q: How do you teach a class of little Sunday schoolers what Jesus is like, and how he loves us?
A: Get them seated, say, "Stay where you are, I'll be right back." Leave, get in your car, drive to the next state. Just keep driving.
 
ideologyhunter said:
Second grade. Mrs. Preston is teaching syllables.
"Who can tell us a long word and break it down for us?" A little boy's hand shoots up. "Yes, Cody?"
"Masturbation. Mas. Ter. BAY. Shun."
Teacher wants to get off the subject, so she gives a forced smile and says, "That is quite a mouthful."
"No, Mrs. Preston, you're thinkin' of a blowjob."
Click to expand...

An improved punch line would be:
"No, Mrs. Preston. That would be fellatio... Fel-la-ti-o."
 
It's midnight when Wang Wei taps on his wife's shoulder to wake her up. "What's the matter?"
He winks and says, "Well...I want 69!"
She frowns and says, "You want beef with brocolli now?"
 
A little hillbilly girl runs in the house from playing with her friends. She says, "Ma, is it true what Dwayne says? He says babies pop out where the boys stick their wieners. Is that true?"
Her ma says "Yup."
"But won't that knock my teeth out?"
 
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