Joke gallery

[Tigers!]

What other word if "Wife" the diminutive of?
Wildlife

 

[Loren Pechtel]

A nun dies. In heaven, the admitting angel sizes her up for wings, a robe, and a halo. He says off-handedly, "You were very faithful on earth, so you get a size 12 halo."
The nun says, "These things are sized based on your faith?"
The angel says, "Yes, they are!"
An hour later she comes back and says, "Look, I'm not one to judge, but Princess Diana's halo is much bigger than the one Lord Jesus has."
The angel says, "That's not her halo. That's the steering wheel."

??

She died in a car crash.

But why would she have a steering wheel when nobody else has relics of their death? And she was a passenger, anyway.

 

[SLD]

A nun dies. In heaven, the admitting angel sizes her up for wings, a robe, and a halo. He says off-handedly, "You were very faithful on earth, so you get a size 12 halo."
The nun says, "These things are sized based on your faith?"
The angel says, "Yes, they are!"
An hour later she comes back and says, "Look, I'm not one to judge, but Princess Diana's halo is much bigger than the one Lord Jesus has."
The angel says, "That's not her halo. That's the steering wheel."

??

She died in a car crash.

But why would she have a steering wheel when nobody else has relics of their death? And she was a passenger, anyway.

Well, the back seat became the front seat became the steering wheel.

 

[spikepipsqueak]

I acknowledge you as a good human being, Loren, but you really don't have a handle on that humour thing.

My first reaction to that joke was to drop on the floor and try to get my breath back. Then I thought "Too soon?" Then I remembered it must be more than 25 years, but every person I told it to had the same reaction.

We really can't attack our sacred cows.

 

[bilby]

But why would a chicken care which side of the road it was on??

 

[jonatha]

But why would a chicken care which side of the road it was on??

To avoid driving headlong into traffic if it were an American chicken in Australia or vice versa....

 

[unapologetic]

But why would she have a steering wheel when nobody else has relics of their death?

How would you know, sinful heathen.

 

[Elixir]

But why would she have a steering wheel when nobody else has relics of their death?

Because the force of the impact was just such that her soul became physically welded to the steering wheel. It’s a very rare phenomenon, Loren. But when it happens you should not get all “how can that be?!” about it. Have a heart, dude; show some sensitivity.

 

[ideologyhunter]

The joke just gets funnier and funnier with every microanalysis. Right?