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Joke gallery

Apparently a number of Arab oil sheikhs have decided to make a large endowment for a new biophysics facility, which they intend to establish in the city of Manama.

Due to some translation difficulties and a lack of technical knowledge on the part of the money men, the centrepiece of the university will combine the high-energy atom smasher concept at the cutting edge of particle physics, with a more mundane agricultural study of local ground-nut production.

In an attempt to popularise the new campus with British and American students, they have enlisted composer and songwriter Rupert Holmes as a spokesman and recruiter; So, if you like peanut colliders, and getting taught in Bahrain…
 
There is an egg shortage in Victoria, Australia. Fowl play is suspected.

You know you are getting old when you have more toes than teeth.

People are so judgemental. I can tell but just looking at them.
 
It's generally viewed that cheesy jokes aren't always funny but it's a first for me to see an angry response. :D
 
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Seen on a resume: “Single-handedly managed the successful upgrade and deployment of new environmental illumination system with zero cost overruns and zero safety incidents.”

What did they do?


Changed a light bulb.

 
Gospel said:
It's generally viewed that cheesy jokes aren't always funny but it's a first for me to see an angry response. :D
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At the last forum where I moderated, there was another moderator who responded to jokes like that by reminding the offending poster that he was a lawyer with CCP and alway had a shovel in the trunk of his car.
 
A naked man was seen running down the street. When arrested police were unable to pin anything on him.

I yelled "cow" to the women on her bike.
She gave me the finger and doubted my parentage.
She still managed to hit it.
Well, I tried my best.
 
Jesus walks into a bar . . .

he sees a man sitting there with a large glass of water in front of him. He goes up to him and says, “Son, Are you a believer?”

The man replies gruffly, “No.”

Jesus waives his hand and instantly the glass turns into wine. “Now are you a believer?”

The man just mumbles and walks away. The next day, Jesus returns to the bar and sees the same man there with a glass of water and again asks, “Son, are you a believer?“

Again the man gruffly replies, “No!”

And again Jesus waives his hand and instantly the man has a glass of wine in front of him. “NOW are you a believer?” The man just mumbles under his breath and walks away.

The third day, Jesus goes back and sees the man again with a glass of water. “My son, are you a believer now?”

The man replies, “Look, if say “Yes” will you just leave my vodka alone?”
 
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