Let me try to see this from the perspective of a born-again, evangelical Alabaman.
Okay. Prep first. Got a chaw of Red Man, check. Got A Bible nearby, check. Shaking my head vigorously...spinning around in one spot real quick...hyperventilating. Okay, I'm breathing fire about now. Don't own a gun, so I can't do nothin' about that part of it. Okay, so Judge Roy:
1) Ya can't fault a man for what he don't remember on Hannity.
2) She may've been an 8th grade girl, but have you seen how some of these girls are dressed these days?
3) Mary coulda been as young as 12 and been betrothed, in the Book. Are you saying the Holy Ghost was a chicken hawk?
4) Are you?
5) Judge Roy has proved he believes on the Book and the Ten Commandments, and he's put his job on the line for 'em.
6) Fake news. Who you gonna believe?
7) Who?
8) Clinton got to stay on in the White House after he lied and then confessed to that messy sex affair with an innocent 21-year-old....21...Okay, skip this one.
9) His name is Judge Roy an' he wears a cowboy hat. He talks my kind o' talk. Lock and load, praise Jesus.