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Movie alphabet

D

Crazed And Consumed

Coming of age comedy about a group of young people on the last day of high school. Then a bloody zombie apocalypse hits.
 
E

Oogah - Captain Caveman biopic detailing the life of the Pleistocene superhero. The story contains many known and several unknown stories regarding the highs and lows of the hairy wonder, including the tale of how he came up with his famous call and the scandal that gave him his son.
 
F

Gol' Dinger

Spin-off of Blazing Saddles. Lily Von Shtupp is kidnapped by Taggart, and only person who can save her is Gabby Johnson (the prospector who tried to warn the town, "The sheriff is a ni-").
Still a Mel Brooks production, Gabby faces an endless series of ever more ridiculous setbacks, bursting out each time with a string of 'authentic frontier gibberish.'
Is it swearing? "Gol DING frabber hum'zing piddle grammpers!" No one knows.
Rated PG. Not because the censors could actually be sure there was nothing THAT offensive hidden in the AFG, but because giving it an R rating would raise viewer expectations.
 
G

Drapes of Wrath - Hot off the heels of the infamous Tulip Wars in Holland, an intense and passionate competition boiled to the surface over window coverings. As with the overly zealous actions led to misery and misfortune with tulips, the same occurred in Holland as people worked to corner the market on the quickly evolving drape market. The film goes into how a few people were manipulating the market before hand to create the popularity of what they would be producing. The "Drape Mobsters" were notorious for publishing fake reviews in the local papers of the drapes they had yet to sell, creating a fervor for prints about to be released. In a matter of months the entire episode ends as quickly as it started.
 
H

The Shecret Of My Shuccessh

Wallash Shawn hoshts Sean Connery in thish combinashun travel documentary and biopic, showcashing the citish and townsh of Shcotand, and their influensh on the shtar's shinema career.
 
K

Duke, Where's My Car?

Starring John Wayne as John Wayne. A freewheeling song singin' gunslingin' auto thievin' comedy where the hapless hero ends up confronted by the owner of a BMW he has stolen.
 
Q

Dude, Query My Car - After hours of tough interrogation at Gitmo, a radical extremist admits that plans for deployment of a dirty bomb were uploaded to the ODBII memory in his 2008 Nissan Altima.
 
R

Moonrake

Trump's first job for the Space Force is to prevent forest fires on the moon. The need to rake up any dead leaves....

The internet explodes with Spaceballs outtakes of the 'We ain't found SHIT!' scene.
 
T

Most Wanted ---> Most Waned

International jewel thief Keenan Ivory Wayans had been wanted, dead or alive. He retired, hid, and built up a new life as a beloved crossing guard in East Nowhere, Illinois. Years pass.
He learns that the FBI is removing him from the Ten Most Wanted list. "Gotta figure, he's old. And if he hasn't fallen face-first into his pasta alfredo, he can't be much of a threat anymore."
Stung, he sets out to assemble a crew and perpetrate THE crime of the century.
Thing is, while these five felons know more about heists than any twenty agents, they ARE old. This informs every decision.
They pick a getaway car for comfort, not speed. They target a jeweller chosen for elevator access. The fence is their old fence's grand-daughter, who is dating one thief's grand-daughter...which confuses half the team to no end. No guns, a firm rule... because if one goes off, everyone's hearing aid goes offline.
After the first, miserable dry-run: "Maybe we should get some performance enhancing drugs?"
"Whaddaya talkin,' Viagra or Metamucil?"
 
U

P.S. Marshalls - A warm tale of a fugitive that became pen pals with the US Marshall that was tasked with apprehending him.
 
V

The Vroom

A shot-for-shot remake of Cars, using th emovie's action figures and stop-motion film.... until the money ran out. Last 20 minutes of the film shot on the director's phone, with his kids pushing the cars around on a blanket-covered table, going 'vroooom.'
 
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