T
Most Wanted ---> Most Waned
International jewel thief Keenan Ivory Wayans had been wanted, dead or alive. He retired, hid, and built up a new life as a beloved crossing guard in East Nowhere, Illinois. Years pass.
He learns that the FBI is removing him from the Ten Most Wanted list. "Gotta figure, he's old. And if he hasn't fallen face-first into his pasta alfredo, he can't be much of a threat anymore."
Stung, he sets out to assemble a crew and perpetrate THE crime of the century.
Thing is, while these five felons know more about heists than any twenty agents, they ARE old. This informs every decision.
They pick a getaway car for comfort, not speed. They target a jeweller chosen for elevator access. The fence is their old fence's grand-daughter, who is dating one thief's grand-daughter...which confuses half the team to no end. No guns, a firm rule... because if one goes off, everyone's hearing aid goes offline.
After the first, miserable dry-run: "Maybe we should get some performance enhancing drugs?"
"Whaddaya talkin,' Viagra or Metamucil?"