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Movie alphabet

 
 
 
G

Rain Bull

DeNiro in a fantasy movie about a fighter who pissed off a pixie. Now, anytime he fights, it rains... inside the arena. Lots of dramatic cinematography as water-soaked combatants' punches spray droplets around in slow motion. Some stunning lighting effects.
Not as much money was spent on dialogue.
"You wanna fight?"
"Yeah. It's raining."
"You afraid of a little water?"
"Guess not."
Punch. Drip-dripdripdrip.
Punch. Drip-dripdripdrip.
 
H

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Hind.


Hilarity ensues when the protagonist in this cautionary tale deeply loves and admires their partner because they think the partner has no bad qualities.
 
I

MAITrix

Shameless Bollywood ripoff of the Matrix movies, as computer science students at the Maharaja Agrasen Institute of Technology, in Rohini, Delhi, begin to suspect reality is a simulation, and they can hack it.

They start small, slightly adjusting breast sizes all over the campus, then move on to spontaneous choreographed dance numbers...
 
K

Mark Poppins.

Canadian billionaire tycoon who, upon his divorce, was ordered to pay substantial maintenance and alimony to his former English wife of 14 years, thus allowing her to live a lavish and carefree lifestyle involving the freedom to waft around London as a part-time do-gooder at his expense.
 
N

NOT-HELLO

A general in the Venitian Army keeps getting confused for a particular Moor. "Not him," he'll say, "I just tan easily."
 
R

The Good, The Bard, And The Ugly

Clint Eastwood helps Shakespeare stage a performance of The Tempest somewhere in the Oklahoma Territory. Not really sure how the 16th Century playwright is in 19th Century America. Or why they're staging a play at a Fort subject to Indian attacks.
But damn, are they uuuuuugly.
 
S

Unshine.

As a byproduct of her laser research a young scientist discovers what amounts to anti-light. It appears to have a few practical applications, among them power generation,and the technology is beginning to become widespread until we notice that the Sun is cooling more much rapidly than it should.
 
T

Stunshine

Mocumentary. A sailor in Charleston, South Carolina, in 1982, drives a pickup equipped with some of the first halogen headlights. We'll call him, i dunno, Clyde.

'Clyde' gets tired of people assuming he's got his hi-beams on and flashing theirs at him. His brother is a supply clerk attached to an aircraft carrier out of Norfolk.

A deal is worked, 'Clyde' wires two landing lights from an A6 Intruder to his pickup overhead, and an additional car battery. Next person to flash hi-beams at 'Clyde' gets a snapshof the road between the two vehicles tattooed onto the back of his eyeballs.

Totally fictional, i swear.
 
U

Gouldfinger

Bond must stop Glenn Herbert Gould, a Canadian classical pianist, and his evil plot. He wants to force every Muzak piece to be held to the same high standards as The Royal Conservatory of Music. Background music will no longer be annoying, simplistic, quiet renditions, but full orchestral productions, with complete video available either in the lobby or thru the Library of Congress. The expenses of taste will cripple industry! WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE BOTTOM LINE?!?

Bond catches Gould in Brazil, and plays 'this little piggy'...with a sledge hammer.
 
X

Sew in the City

Somewhat a rehash of The Day of Wine and Roses, it is a ragged tale of a middle-class seamstress that came to the big city to fulfill her dream of working in a sweat shop for nickels to sew dresses worth thousands of times more than her labor. Sadly, as quickly as she was able to fulfill her dream, OSHA kept breaking down doors and shutting down the operation. It became clear that if she were to ever live her dream, she'd need to create her own sweat shop. Learning from the mistakes of other Sweat Shop owners, and working even harder, she created her own sweat shop, and ran it while also working in it. The stress of staying one step ahead of OSHA, however, sent her to the bottle. Fighting alcoholism while trying to sew was very difficult and lead to some pretty horrific accidents. Incapable of running anymore, OSHA finally closed in on her and shut down her operation.

Now jobless, and missing several limbs, the middle-class seamstress headed back home to rediscover the charm of the small town she left... and was dragged into a Hallmark Channel movie starring The Dandyman!

0.5 of 4
 
Y

Sex in the Cite

A short biographic about a man that wrote dozens of books and would eventually include graphic pornographic text in the footnotes. At first he included the word "boner" in one footnote because he thought it'd be funny. But then no one noticed. So in a continuously snowballing set of events, eventually his books were riddled with unnoticed citations to statements made in his books that were actually just sentences with pornographic material. The author actually passed away before anyone noticed, and this film was put together as an homage to his achievements in pornographic footnotes.

This is actually more interesting than it sounds, but that could be the graphic reenactments of the footnotes talking.

3 of 4
 
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