Profound Thoughts

[mudlark]

Spilling hot coffee on yourself wakes you up way faster than drinking it.

 

[ZiprHead]

Life is all about ass...

You're either covering it,

Kicking it,

Kissing it,

Busting it,

Trying to get a piece of it,

Behaving like one,

Or living with one.

 

[ZiprHead]

If you yell into a colander, does it strain your voice?

 

[ZiprHead]

Always jingle all the way.

Nobody likes a half-assed jingler.

 

[steve_bank]

Something hard is not easy.
Something easy is not hard.
If you don't want something easy find something hard.
If you don't want something hard find something easy.
Such is the way of all things.

 

[4321lynx]

I've asked before but I'll ask again:

If a centipede a pint how much did a precipice?

 

[bilby]

I've asked before but I'll ask again:

If a centipede a pint how much did a precipice?

Well, everyone knows that the big apple is New York, New York; But does anyone know where the Minneapolis?

 

[fromderinside]

Yes. It's in the Minnesota. But do you have the Bunion?

 

[ZiprHead]

Something hard is not easy.
Something easy is not hard.
If you don't want something easy find something hard.
If you don't want something hard find something easy.
Such is the way of all things.

You really don't get this thread, do you?

 

[steve_bank]

Something hard is not easy.
Something easy is not hard.
If you don't want something easy find something hard.
If you don't want something hard find something easy.
Such is the way of all things.

You really don't get this thread, do you?

Perhaps my humor is too subtle for you on this humor forum….

 

[Atheos]

Seems like there's plenty of youth. How about we search for a fountain of smart?

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

There are two types of people. Myself and everyone else.

 

[Elixir]

There are two types of people. Myself and everyone else.

There ARE two kinds of people; people who think there are two kinds of people, and people who don't. I'm of the first type - I know there are two kinds of people; people who think there are two kinds of people, and people who don't. I'm of the first type - I know there are two kinds of people ...

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

The number 1 is the only integer that is equal to its square and ​ square root! I published a paper on my discovery of this fact.

 

[Keith&Co.]

The number 1 is the only integer that is equal to its square and ​ square root! I published a paper on my discovery of this fact.

Yeah, that's... Well, that's pretty square, that is.

 

[Atheos]

Well if 0 times 0 is 0 then 0 is the square root of 0 and the square of 0. Philosophically speaking it may be impossible to divide any non-zero number by zero but one can argue that it is possible to divide 0 by 0. I take great pleasure in exposing flaws in published papers.

Obligatory profound thought: "Of a little take a little and of a little leave a little and you'll always have a little."

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

Eyeballs are attention whores. When the mouth gets too much attention laughing or sobbing, the eyeballs start the water works.

 

[Atheos]

When junk science marries the media, it creates really stupid offspring.

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

Are mules really just zebras that were washed in water that was too warm?

 

[Cheerful Charlie]

An Englishman who was wrecked on a strange shore and
wandering along the coast . . . came to a gallows
with a victim hanging on it, and fell down on his
knees and thanked God that he at last beheld a sign
of civilization.

--James A. Garfield (1831-1881)
(House of Representatives speech, June 15, 1870)