Profound Thoughts

[steve_bank]

Why is a president impeached? Why not imcherried or imappled?

If a miscchst goes to Hell is it really Hell?

 

[ZiprHead]

I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say "Hey, look. That one is shaped just like an idiot."

 

[Atheos]

 

[ZiprHead]

Be decisive. Right or Wrong, make a decision. The road of life is paved with flat squirrels that couldn’t make a decision.

 

[ZiprHead]

Ya know how you know life is REALLY f**king unfair?

Donald Trump rides in a helicopter every God damn day...

#RIPKobeBryant

 

[DrZoidberg]

The more you know the less you hoe

 

[Keith&Co.]

How old am I? Well, I'm long past, "They're remaking that movie?" But not yet to "I don't know ANY of the names on this remake."
So, I am somewhere around, "They're remaking that movie AGAIN?"

 

[Elixir]

How old am I? Well, I'm long past, "They're remaking that movie?" But not yet to "I don't know ANY of the names on this remake."
So, I am somewhere around, "They're remaking that movie AGAIN?"

You're making me feel old. I'm around "Haven't I seen this movie before?"

 

[Wiploc]

How old am I? Well, I'm long past, "They're remaking that movie?" But not yet to "I don't know ANY of the names on this remake."
So, I am somewhere around, "They're remaking that movie AGAIN?"

You're making me feel old. I'm around "Haven't I seen this movie before?"

And why are they casting that child star as a grandparent?

 

[ZiprHead]

There is no level of trust equal to two cannibals having oral sex.

 

[steve_bank]

If you are feckless, where do you go to get some feck?

 

[ZiprHead]

If I was a plastic surgeon, I would 100% put a squeaky toy in every breast implant.

 

[ZiprHead]

Before you start popping that bubble wrap, remember the air in it is from China.

 

[ZiprHead]

When people tell me "You're gonna regret that in the morning." I sleep 'til noon because I'm a problem solver.

 

[ZiprHead]

Bacon is meat candy.

 

[Keith&Co.]

A mission statement is a dense slab of words that la large organization produces when it needs to establish that its workers are not just sitting around downloading internet porn.
--Dave Barry

 

[ZiprHead]

Yesterday I spotted an albino dalmatian. It was the least I could do for him.

 

[mudlark]

Earphones with wires has saved millions of phones from being dropped. Apple is genius.

 

[SLD]

Dear Anti-Vaxxers,

Now is the time to visit China and prove us all wrong.

Sincerely,

Science

 

[Keith&Co.]

you know, it's kind of impressive that our modern medical knowledge is SO GOOD that people are generally so healthy and long-lived enough that they can convince themselves that modern medical knowledge is not the reason they're so healthy...

Doesn't make THEM any less stupid, but it is a compliment on the knowledge.