Profound Thoughts

[bilby]

but not tipfinger...

Speak for yourself. I tipfinger all the time.

TMI

 

[Atheos]

I wonder if the arachnophobia support group has a website.

 

[Thomas II]

 

[Atheos]

Does anyone know what sliced bread was the best thing since?

 

[James Brown]

And how did hotcakes become the standard unit of measurement for aggressive sales?

 

[ZiprHead]

Considering today is Halloween, I have a question.

How do Aussie kids Trick Or Treat? Doesn't the candy just fall out of those upside down bags?

 

[WAB]

Considering today is Halloween, I have a question.

How do Aussie kids Trick Or Treat? Doesn't the candy just fall out of those upside down bags?

More importantly, those Australian bats actually stand up!

 

[Wiploc]

And how did hotcakes become the standard unit of measurement for aggressive sales?

I assume that hotcake sales are more common--a more universal standard--than land office businesses.

 

[phands]

Why do psychics have to ask your name?

 

[phands]

You don't need a parachute to go skydiving.
You do need a parachute to skydiving twice.

 

[phands]

[FONT=&quot]Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.[/FONT]

 

[Tom Sawyer]

It's sad when entire families have to be ripped apart by something as simple as a pack of wild dogs.

- Jack Handey

 

[Thomas II]

"We used to laugh at Grandpa when he'd head off and go fishing. But we
wouldn't be laughing that evening when he'd come back with some whore he
picked up in town..."

by Jack Handey

 

[Tom Sawyer]

A good one I heard the other day:

"Remember that from everybody's own point of view, they are the most important person in the world. Always be sure to make them feel that way".

Not really all that funny, but still kind of profound.

 

[phands]

[FONT=&quot]When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.[/FONT]

 

[Keith&Co.]

First, we learn to read.
Then we read to learn.

 

[Elixir]

If you plant birdseed it will sprout and grow, but it won't yield any birds.

 

[steve_bank]

Why change your underwear, it just gets dirty all over again.

 

[Keith&Co.]

Without cookies, him just a monster.

 

[mudlark]

Through natural selection, when we kill all the spiders we see, we are only creating spiders who are better at hiding .