Profound Thoughts

[arnoldo]

Today is yesterday's tomorrow.

 

[ZiprHead]

I wish Santa would publish his naughty list. What a great way to meet people.

 

[steve_bank]

If you thick there is a witch hunt going on stop acting like a witch.

 

[Alcoholic Actuary]

Today is yesterday's tomorrow.

Reminds me of one:

"Today is the tomorrow for which yesterday you spent money like there was no"

aa

 

[Alcoholic Actuary]

Never use a big word where a diminutive one would suffice.

aa

 

[steve_bank]

The only difference between being here and there is a T.

 

[fast]

Stop drinking? There are more old drunks than there are old doctors; I think i’ll have another round!

 

[Underseer]

Considering today is Halloween, I have a question.

How do Aussie kids Trick Or Treat? Doesn't the candy just fall out of those upside down bags?

If you staple a toddler or a medium-sized dog to the top of the candy bag, the candy won't fall up.

 

[Alcoholic Actuary]

"You can't believe everything you read on the internet." - Abraham Lincoln

aa

 

[WAB]

That's Abraham Lincoln, from Cincinnati, right?

 

[hurtinbuckaroo]

Give a man a compliment, flatter him for a day. Teach a man to fish for compliments, flatter him for a lifetime.

 

[steve_bank]

A little bit o me goes down the toilet every day.

 

[mrzyphl]

forget it

 

[Gun Nut]

Places aren't haunted. People are.

 

[Gun Nut]

Give a man a compliment, flatter him for a day. Teach a man to fish for compliments, flatter him for a lifetime.

Give a man fire, and he will be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for life.

 

[Atheos]

On a related note...

If your parachute doesn't open when you pull the rip cord, take whatever time you need to figure out why and get it to open. You've got the rest of your life to solve the problem.

 

[Wiploc]

On a related note...

If your parachute doesn't open when you pull the rip cord, take whatever time you need to figure out why and get it to open. You've got the rest of your life to solve the problem.

The one time I went parachuting, when I pulled my ripcord, nothing happened.

So then I pulled the ripcord on my backup chute, and, again, nothing happened.

I didn't know what to do next. So, I saw this guy going the other way, and hollered at him, "Do you know anything about parachutes?"

He said, "No. Do you know anything about gasoline camp stoves?"

 

[Keith&Co.]

I love my children. The love is powerful. They are the world to me.
By which I mean, I will take a bullet for them if their life depends on it
I do not mean that I love them enough to turn the dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets over halfway through cooking. Eighteen minutes on one side is close enough, considering the amount of ketchup they're going to pour on the damned things.

 

[Atheos]

The anguish of low quality lingers long after the sweetness of low cost is forgotten.

 

[Keith&Co.]

There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand hexadecimal and F the rest.