Profound Thoughts

[ZiprHead]

 

[WAB]

Do cannibals like finger-foods?

 

[ZiprHead]

If Bonespurs wanted Hillary locked up so badly, maybe he should have hired her.

 

[steve_bank]

Something I read on a wall while relieving myself in a urinal. A true life metaphor.

'No matter how much you wiggle and how much you dance, the last few drops will always go down your pants'

 

[Underseer]

Where did the seedless grape come from?

Have you ever found a seed in a banana?

The bananas you buy from the store come from a banana variety that produces no seeds, so it has to be reproduced by cloning techniques (much easier with plants: just cut off the right part and stick it in water).

 

[Underseer]

There is an art, it says, or rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
[ent]mdash[/ent]Douglas Adams

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing noise they make as they pass by.
[ent]mdash[/ent]Douglas Adams

My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no character.
[ent]mdash[/ent]Charles Barkley

Come to think of it, there are already a million monkeys on a million typewriters, and Usenet is NOTHING like Shakespeare.
[ent]mdash[/ent]Blair Houghton

Live and scratch. When you die, the itching stops.
[ent]mdash[/ent]Anonymous Soviet diplomat

Sorry about the above quote. I'm pretty sure I read it in the Air Force Times as a child, but I could be wrong about which publication, and I certainly don't recall the issue number nor the author. I do recall that the author wasn't sure if the above was a common Russian saying, or just something that particular diplomat came up with on his own.

 

[bilby]

Throwing yourself at the ground and missing is more commonly known as 'orbiting' rather than 'flying'.

 

[Atheos]

If "pro" and "con" are opposites then are progress and congress opposites?

 

[ZiprHead]

You really have to hand it to a blind prostitute.

 

[ZiprHead]

 

[ZiprHead]

 

[bigfield]

Don't worry about things you can't change.

Don't mull over the past, because you can't go back and do things differently. Don't fret about the future, because it isn't here yet; plan for things as best as you can and then put them aside. Don't worry about things outside your personal control; just make the best use of the agency you have.

 

[bilby]

Don't worry about things you can't change.

Don't mull over the past, because you can't go back and do things differently. Don't fret about the future, because it isn't here yet; plan for things as best as you can and then put them aside. Don't worry about things outside your personal control; just make the best use of the agency you have.

Forget the past; It cannot be changed.
Forget the future; It is not yet here.
And forget the present; I didn't get you one.

 

[Thumpalumpacus]

My own contribution: Rape is unknown amongst porcupines.

but not tipfinger...

Speak for yourself. I tipfinger all the time.

That's 'cause guitarin' is fun.

 

[ZiprHead]

I'd grow my own food if I could find bacon seeds.

 

[ZiprHead]

When people tell me "You're going to regret that in the morning", I sleep 'til noon because I'm a problem solver.

 

[Iznomneak]

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.

 

[steve_bank]

Anything that goes up does not necessarily come down.

 

[Cheerful Charlie]

The sage points to the moon. The fool stares at his finger.

 

[ZiprHead]

If it's true that stress brings on weight loss, why the heck am I not invisible by now?