Profound Thoughts

[just_me]

Love is a thing that costs so little to give. Builds so much when received, but devastates tenfold when it is removed.

- - - Updated - - -

Revenge leads to nothing but emptiness.

 

[ZiprHead]

My back hurts and my feet hurt.

Why is that when I only have one back but two feet?

 

[just_me]

My back hurts and my feet hurt.

Why is that when I only have one back but two feet?

Your back supports your entire family and your feet support you while you are doing that.

 

[WAB]

My back hurts and my feet hurt.

Why is that when I only have one back but two feet?

Symmetry. You'd look awful funny with two backs.

 

[steve_bank]

How do chimps get by without underwear and toilet paper?

 

[Atheos]

Can't fling your poo if you're not willing to put your finger in it.

 

[Keith&Co.]

Can't fling your poo if you're not willing to put your finger in it.

Wow.

So simple, so profound. I'm bringing that up at the next leadership seminar they send me to.

 

[ZiprHead]

Why are they called circulars when they are rectangles?

 

[Keith&Co.]

Being a father is not just about eating Gumi Bears while your wife is in labor down the hall. It's also about being comfortable with the word 'Hero.'

-Ryan Reynolds.

 

[Keith&Co.]

There comes a certain time when you realize nothing productive will be accomplished afterwards.

At my office, we call that 'Tuesday.'

 

[Elixir]

There comes a certain time when you realize nothing productive will be accomplished afterwards.

At my office, we call that 'Tuesday.'

You guys are incredibly productive. We call it 9:30am.

 

[arnoldo]

Today is yesterday's tomorrow.

 

[4321lynx]

Whomever came up with pockets in sweat pants is a genius.

Profound thought: That should be "Whoever"...

 

[ideologyhunter]

Feelings, nothing more than feelings...
Trying to forget my...feelings...of love...
(Inhale)
Feeee-eeeelings!!!!
Whoah-ohhhh-ohhh, feee-eeeelings!!!!!.....

 

[Atheos]

A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still






Women, on the other hand are considerably more rational.

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

While toilet paper might have two sides, I'm never using the second.

 

[ruby sparks]

While toilet paper might have two sides, I'm never using the second.

Trees are dying and the planet is crying because of your selfish attitude.

 

[WAB]

While toilet paper might have two sides, I'm never using the second.

Or one sheet all by itself.*


*With a nod to Eddie Murphy.

 

[hurtinbuckaroo]

If you give a man a pizza, he will eat for a day.
If you give a man two pizzas, he will eat for a day.

 

[mudlark]

in a Zombie apocalypse, future Pedestrian crash avoidance systems would make cars useless as weapons against them.