• Welcome to the new Internet Infidels Discussion Board, formerly Talk Freethought.

Things that make you laugh...

Was reminded of a classmate of mine the other day, because of something that happened in my wife's class.

About a million years ago, our English teacher started the novel unit. She presented the definition of a novel. I don't quite recall the definition. But right after we finished putting it in our notes, she asked, "Does anyone feel that the Bible fits that definition?"

Then two people in the classroom raised their hands. NO ONE blinked that one of them was me.

Heh. She said 'anyone,' but I'm pretty sure she was talking to me. She wasn't surprised at my response. But Leslie raised her hand, too.
Leslie was one of the devout Mormons in the school. She often reminded me of LDS functions coming up, and pointing out that I was still on the books as a member. Everyone stared at her. I stared. I mean, it was cool not being the only person to have a particular opinion, but... Leslie?
Mrs. Burton stared, open mouthed. She didn't even turn to face me when she said, "Keith, I'll deal with you in a second."
"Yeah, sure," I told her.
"Leslie? What the fuck,Les? I mean, why do you think-?"
Leslie then replayed the last five minutes of class in her head and realized she had misunderstood the question. She squeaks, "EEP!" and blushes, and tries to hide under her desk.

That sorted, Mrs. Burton turned to me. "Okay, why?"
"Well, there are a lot of parables. Stories told less to relate historical events than to illustrate moral instruction. Many parts of the Bible make no sense as historical events, BUT if they're made-up stories for moral instruction, then they don't HAVE to match actual history."
"Okay, interesting," she said with a nod. "But wrong."

I was told
1) It's not.
2) It's not to be used as an example or answer in any essay, test answer, or classroom discussion.
3) There will be no punishments for holding that position, but neither will there be any grades given for an assignment used to promote that position in this class.
4) As long as we're here, neither does the Koran, Talmud, Baghavad Ghita, eddas, or the Book of the Dead qualify.
5) Stay away from Leslie.
 
I appear to have just ruined Black Panther for a coworker.
Someone's trying to prep his wife for Infinity Wars by binging on Marvel Movies.
She's scanning the list ahead (they're just past Iron Man II) and says she's not really interested in seeing Black Panther. Mostly what she's heard about it online says it's just black-centric rhetoric.
I told him, "Tell her that the women in the movie get all the best lines."
"Holy CRAP!" another coworker shouts. "It's not a black-power movie, it's FEMINISM!"

....Now he's ranting about how the feminazis used racial diversity as a cloaking device, to stealth their message in under everyone's radar...
Now I need to decide if i'll tell him that Hillary plays the US president in the next Avengers movie (They were SO surprised when she lost...), or if it's Michelle Obama...
 
paladin.oa said:
Keith&Co. said:
....Now he's ranting about how the feminazis used racial diversity as a cloaking device, to stealth their message in under everyone's radar...
Click to expand...

He's a real piece of work eh?
Click to expand...
Yeah. I mean, props for the 'Trek reference, but still...

My wife suggests a rumor that the President is a black woman who resembles Hillary. Named Mischa Clifton or something like that...
 
I definitely have the right job.

So, I emailed a question for the group: Is it pronounced data or data?

And a follow-up email: How many of you ‘heard’ the word two different ways in your head?

Also: Just reflecting on the fact that read rhymes with lead, and read rhymes with lead, but lead doesn’t rhyme with read, while read doesn’t rhyme with lead.

Josh replied: Everyone knows it’s pronounced data and yes I heard it both ways. I suppose you think because you’re from Idaho that you can say potato instead of potato as well.

Randy replied: So if I record my record,
and refuse to throw away my refuse,
should I deliberate my deliberate act,
and resume writing my resume.

Christine replied: I hate you all….
 
The sow ate the seeds before I could sow them.
I wound the bandage around the wound.
I was going to wind on another, but it was blown away by the wind.
I will lead you to the lead mine.
I went into that cartography store, and struck all the globes from their axes, with my axes!
 
My birthday is the nuclear goose on the wings of the night. Meh.

But the movie of my marriage
The acid Samurai that doesn't know mercy...
Now that's on point.
 
Not to ruin the fun or anything, but I think it's worth mentioning that those "What's Your..." memes, at least on Facebook and Twitter, serve as information gathering tools for stealing personal information. They're not that effective considering all the tools and methods available to ID thieves, but it's something to be aware of if you use social media.
 
Angry Floof said:
Not to ruin the fun or anything, but I think it's worth mentioning that those "What's Your..." memes, at least on Facebook and Twitter, serve as information gathering tools for stealing personal information. They're not that effective considering all the tools and methods available to ID thieves, but it's something to be aware of if you use social media.
Click to expand...

Yup, I would never use one of those on those platforms.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom