Working Mom Arrested for Letting Her 9-Year-Old Play Alone at Park

[doubtingt]

Playing in park with a bunch of strangers is actually among the safest and healthiest places you could leave your kid.

Yup. There will be plenty of parents there who would no doubt call it in if someone tried to snatch a kid there. It's probably a lot safer than being home alone.

Its also safer being at home with a parent, family member, or someone known to the family because all of them are more likely to harm the kid than any of the strangers at the park. IT is safer than driving someplace with a parent. And it is healthier, because they are getting exercise. A 9 year old kid forced to always stay where there parents can always see them is more likely to suffer harm from lack of activity than any harm that will come to them by being away from supervision.

 

[credoconsolans]

The number of true kidnappers is very low. Almost all kidnapping is custody issues, not strangers taking kids for bad purposes.

- - - Updated - - -

Across the entire country of Canada, there's about 25 kids kidnapped by strangers every year.

According to the FBI, about 74,000 kids go missing in the US in a year. I'm not sure how many of those are 'by strangers.' The vast majority are by family members or family friends, although a growing number of abductions appear to be committed by Child Services trying to rescue kids from insufficiently paranoid parents...

"Vast majority" = about 99.8%.

I think it depends on where you live. When I was going to college, my sister lived next to a grade school. The playground there was named after the little girl who was snatched from the playground, raped and murdered.

I moved back to my hometown where my cousins live in the same small suburb where a little girl was snatched and hasn't been seen since. And it wasn't any family member who did it. I currently live three blocks away from 3 registered sex offenders and a girl waiting for the bus in the early morning was dragged behind the dumpster by a homeless man and raped.

This single mom works at a fast food joint. I'm kinda thinking she doesn't live in a very safe area.

 

[bilby]

The number of true kidnappers is very low. Almost all kidnapping is custody issues, not strangers taking kids for bad purposes.

- - - Updated - - -

Across the entire country of Canada, there's about 25 kids kidnapped by strangers every year.

According to the FBI, about 74,000 kids go missing in the US in a year. I'm not sure how many of those are 'by strangers.' The vast majority are by family members or family friends, although a growing number of abductions appear to be committed by Child Services trying to rescue kids from insufficiently paranoid parents...

"Vast majority" = about 99.8%.

I think it depends on where you live. When I was going to college, my sister lived next to a grade school. The playground there was named after the little girl who was snatched from the playground, raped and murdered.

I moved back to my hometown where my cousins live in the same small suburb where a little girl was snatched and hasn't been seen since. And it wasn't any family member who did it. I currently live three blocks away from 3 registered sex offenders and a girl waiting for the bus in the early morning was dragged behind the dumpster by a homeless man and raped.

This single mom works at a fast food joint. I'm kinda thinking she doesn't live in a very safe area.

Even if she lives in a high crime area, (and there is, so far, exactly zero evidence of this - Last time I checked, McDonalds are allowed to open restaurants even in places with low crime rates), her child is still statistically more likely to be in danger as a result of being placed in foster care than she was as a result of being allowed to play in the park unsupervised.

The description of the park in the OP article as '...a place so popular that at any given time there are about 40 kids frolicking [...]. There were swings, a "splash pad," and shade'. So we can be fairly confident that it isn't a needle strewn wasteland, dotted with burned out car bodies and with drug gangs firing bullets at each other across it every few minutes, in between beating up prostitutes and smoking crack.

If 40 kids are safe there under supervision, it is assuredly not a hugely dangerous environment for one unsupervised nine-year-old.

Foster care, however, is demonstrably more dangerous - in terms of the likelihood of physical or sexual assault - than a public park with other children and their parents present.

The state response in this case is as rational as catching a person driving without a seatbelt, and sentencing them to drive five miles the wrong way up the freeway at 3am as a punishment. Neither is as safe as one might like; but the response generates far more danger than the original risk.

 

[Loren Pechtel]

The number of true kidnappers is very low. Almost all kidnapping is custody issues, not strangers taking kids for bad purposes.

- - - Updated - - -

Across the entire country of Canada, there's about 25 kids kidnapped by strangers every year.

According to the FBI, about 74,000 kids go missing in the US in a year. I'm not sure how many of those are 'by strangers.' The vast majority are by family members or family friends, although a growing number of abductions appear to be committed by Child Services trying to rescue kids from insufficiently paranoid parents...

"Vast majority" = about 99.8%.

I think it depends on where you live. When I was going to college, my sister lived next to a grade school. The playground there was named after the little girl who was snatched from the playground, raped and murdered.

I moved back to my hometown where my cousins live in the same small suburb where a little girl was snatched and hasn't been seen since. And it wasn't any family member who did it. I currently live three blocks away from 3 registered sex offenders and a girl waiting for the bus in the early morning was dragged behind the dumpster by a homeless man and raped.

This single mom works at a fast food joint. I'm kinda thinking she doesn't live in a very safe area.

I do suspect the problems are concentrated but that doesn't change the very low number of kidnappings that happen.

Note, also, that I only addressed kidnapping, not rape. 9 year olds are rarely raped and if they are it's going to be part of a kidnapping. Thus a rape having occurred doesn't indicate the threat is greater.

 

[RavenSky]

Even if she lives in a high crime area, (and there is, so far, exactly zero evidence of this - Last time I checked, McDonalds are allowed to open restaurants even in places with low crime rates), her child is still statistically more likely to be in danger as a result of being placed in foster care than she was as a result of being allowed to play in the park unsupervised.

The description of the park in the OP article as '...a place so popular that at any given time there are about 40 kids frolicking [...]. There were swings, a "splash pad," and shade'. So we can be fairly confident that it isn't a needle strewn wasteland, dotted with burned out car bodies and with drug gangs firing bullets at each other across it every few minutes, in between beating up prostitutes and smoking crack.

If 40 kids are safe there under supervision, it is assuredly not a hugely dangerous environment for one unsupervised nine-year-old.

Foster care, however, is demonstrably more dangerous - in terms of the likelihood of physical or sexual assault - than a public park with other children and their parents present.

The state response in this case is as rational as catching a person driving without a seatbelt, and sentencing them to drive five miles the wrong way up the freeway at 3am as a punishment. Neither is as safe as one might like; but the response generates far more danger than the original risk.

 

[repoman]

What you can hope for at best is that the charges are dropped or lessened to a type of misdemeanor that has no effect on future employment.

 

[Hickdive]

I think the issue is more about the absence of an immediately accessible responsible adult.

Who do you turn to if you've fallen and bumped your head whilst playing?

I have no qualms about my children going out to play by themselves but they can always come home for whatever support they might need. I think that might be difficult to deliver if there is no responsible adult at home.

Unfortunately, any other adults that might be in the park cannot be expected to fulfil that role. As an adult male nowadays I cannot offer assistance to, or even approach, any distressed child that isn't my own. The best I can do is call the police.

That said, I think the actions of the state are grossly inappropriate and undoubtedly will have far worse consequences than the original "crime".

 

[funinspace]

Such idiocy in arresting that woman! I was 9 in the early 1970’s when violent crime stats were much higher than today, never mind I lived in one of the South-North drug transport corridors. I was allowed to go off and play in the desert all summer long for hours with my friends and no adults or older children. I survived w/o helmets while skateboarding and biking for endless hours (yeah helmets are good things and I wear one now while biking). When I was about 12 one of my friends severely broke his wrist while skateboarding at an empty school ground in the summer. One of us ran about a quarter mile to the house to get an adult and he survived.

Yeah, kids are much safer caged in their house watching TV, playing computer games, or facebooking...waiting for grandpa or their uncle to rape or beat them.

 

[Jokodo]

<snip>As an adult male nowadays I cannot offer assistance to, or even approach, any distressed child that isn't my own. The best I can do is call the police.<snip>

Can you elaborate a bit on the bolded part? As an adult male, I have approached and assisted children that weren't my own plenty of times with no untowards repercussions. Like this time within the last month or too (talk about nowadays) when this kid was crying and throwing itself onto the floor, with no adults in sight that looked like they were taking responsibility for him. I grabbed his hand and told him "let's walk to your parents, show me were they are" upon which he quickly calmed down and we walked hand in hand a couple hundred yards until we caught up with his parents who, it turned out, had just seen no other way to deal with his utter refusal to leave the playground than to walk ahead until he thought better of it. I can sympathise with their decisions, but as far as I could register, they got more bad looks from bystanders than me.

If you talk about grabbing an unknown, injured kid and putting him in your car to bring him or her to the hospital, that might be different - but you should be calling the police anyway in such a situation, and an ambulance if you're not a medical professional yourself. An ambulance because as a non-professional, you can't judge wether the kid is transportable if it's injured badly enough to require an immediate ER visit, and the police because that's who the parents will call when they return and find their kid missing.

 

[Jolly_Penguin]

Playing in park with a bunch of strangers is actually among the safest and healthiest places you could leave your kid.

Yes. It is. And that is sounds so wrong is a testament to just how powerful the stranger danger meme is.

 

[Jolly_Penguin]

If 40 kids are safe there under supervision, it is assuredly not a hugely dangerous environment for one unsupervised nine-year-old.

But if his parent isn't there, then who is going to protect us from the nine year old?

 

[credoconsolans]

The number of true kidnappers is very low. Almost all kidnapping is custody issues, not strangers taking kids for bad purposes.

- - - Updated - - -

Across the entire country of Canada, there's about 25 kids kidnapped by strangers every year.

According to the FBI, about 74,000 kids go missing in the US in a year. I'm not sure how many of those are 'by strangers.' The vast majority are by family members or family friends, although a growing number of abductions appear to be committed by Child Services trying to rescue kids from insufficiently paranoid parents...

"Vast majority" = about 99.8%.

I think it depends on where you live. When I was going to college, my sister lived next to a grade school. The playground there was named after the little girl who was snatched from the playground, raped and murdered.

I moved back to my hometown where my cousins live in the same small suburb where a little girl was snatched and hasn't been seen since. And it wasn't any family member who did it. I currently live three blocks away from 3 registered sex offenders and a girl waiting for the bus in the early morning was dragged behind the dumpster by a homeless man and raped.

This single mom works at a fast food joint. I'm kinda thinking she doesn't live in a very safe area.

Even if she lives in a high crime area, (and there is, so far, exactly zero evidence of this - Last time I checked, McDonalds are allowed to open restaurants even in places with low crime rates),

But not close by. Most of the McDs I see in low crime areas are not close to the subdivisions. They are in a strip mall half a mile away.

her child is still statistically more likely to be in danger as a result of being placed in foster care than she was as a result of being allowed to play in the park unsupervised.

The description of the park in the OP article as '...a place so popular that at any given time there are about 40 kids frolicking [...]. There were swings, a "splash pad," and shade'. So we can be fairly confident that it isn't a needle strewn wasteland, dotted with burned out car bodies and with drug gangs firing bullets at each other across it every few minutes, in between beating up prostitutes and smoking crack.

It doesn't even have to be that. Where I live isn't a needle strewn wasteland. It's a mixed neighborhood. Still didn't stop the rape from happening.

If 40 kids are safe there under supervision, it is assuredly not a hugely dangerous environment for one unsupervised nine-year-old.

And 40 kids at 'any one time' doesn't make it any safer. One can assume that those other 40 kids have adults nearby. What's to keep those adults from just thinking that a 9 year old leaving with another adult is anything out of the ordinary? Except being a stranger, they don't know that the adult taking the 9 year old away isn't her parent?

 

[bilby]

The number of true kidnappers is very low. Almost all kidnapping is custody issues, not strangers taking kids for bad purposes.

- - - Updated - - -

Across the entire country of Canada, there's about 25 kids kidnapped by strangers every year.

According to the FBI, about 74,000 kids go missing in the US in a year. I'm not sure how many of those are 'by strangers.' The vast majority are by family members or family friends, although a growing number of abductions appear to be committed by Child Services trying to rescue kids from insufficiently paranoid parents...

"Vast majority" = about 99.8%.

I think it depends on where you live. When I was going to college, my sister lived next to a grade school. The playground there was named after the little girl who was snatched from the playground, raped and murdered.

I moved back to my hometown where my cousins live in the same small suburb where a little girl was snatched and hasn't been seen since. And it wasn't any family member who did it. I currently live three blocks away from 3 registered sex offenders and a girl waiting for the bus in the early morning was dragged behind the dumpster by a homeless man and raped.

This single mom works at a fast food joint. I'm kinda thinking she doesn't live in a very safe area.

Even if she lives in a high crime area, (and there is, so far, exactly zero evidence of this - Last time I checked, McDonalds are allowed to open restaurants even in places with low crime rates),

But not close by. Most of the McDs I see in low crime areas are not close to the subdivisions. They are in a strip mall half a mile away.

her child is still statistically more likely to be in danger as a result of being placed in foster care than she was as a result of being allowed to play in the park unsupervised.

The description of the park in the OP article as '...a place so popular that at any given time there are about 40 kids frolicking [...]. There were swings, a "splash pad," and shade'. So we can be fairly confident that it isn't a needle strewn wasteland, dotted with burned out car bodies and with drug gangs firing bullets at each other across it every few minutes, in between beating up prostitutes and smoking crack.

It doesn't even have to be that. Where I live isn't a needle strewn wasteland. It's a mixed neighborhood. Still didn't stop the rape from happening.

If 40 kids are safe there under supervision, it is assuredly not a hugely dangerous environment for one unsupervised nine-year-old.

And 40 kids at 'any one time' doesn't make it any safer. One can assume that those other 40 kids have adults nearby. What's to keep those adults from just thinking that a 9 year old leaving with another adult is anything out of the ordinary? Except being a stranger, they don't know that the adult taking the 9 year old away isn't her parent?

Absolutely nothing; but this happens so rarely, even in high crime areas, that it is literally insane to worry about it.

It is not impossible; but then, it is not impossible that an out of control truck could crash through the playground and kill several children. Or that one of the kids could get struck by lightning. Or that the playground equipment could break and injure or kill a child.

All of these fears are fears of things that are so unlikely, that even though there are recorded instances of each and every one of them happening, it is a sign of mental illness for a parent to worry about them. That the media have successfully induced a mass-psychosis in parents and officials, to the point where the authorities arrest a parent for failing to participate in the delusion, is not an indication that the delusion is valid.

If you read that a parent had been arrested for allowing their child to leave the house during summer storm season (not during a storm, just during the storm season), would you think that this was in any way justified? Or would you think that it was an extreme over-reaction to a minuscule threat?

 

[Celldweller]

Was she acting out of desperation or is this just an extreme example of parental negligence? I agree completely with you all on the safety odds with the kid. My problem is what kind of message does this send a 9 year old who is left with the world at his fingertips with no accountability? So when he's 13, mom is so resigned that her son will simply make all the right decisions at home alone during an 8 hour shift? Lemme see, one case of curiousity combined with angst over mommy issues, mixed with discovering moms alcohol stash, blended with other neglected neighborhood friends couldn't possibly be a recipe for disaster. /SpokenAsAFatherOfThreeAges9,7,1

 

[ZiprHead]

Was she acting out of desperation or is this just an extreme example of parental negligence? I agree completely with you all on the safety odds with the kid. My problem is what kind of message does this send a 9 year old who is left with the world at his fingertips with no accountability? So when he's 13, mom is so resigned that her son will simply make all the right decisions at home alone during an 8 hour shift? Lemme see, one case of curiousity combined with angst over mommy issues, mixed with discosvering moms alcohol stash, blended with other neglected neighborhood friends couldn't possibly be a recipe for disaster. /SpokenAsAFatherOfThreeAges9,7,1

Sounds like desperation to me. Someone in her circumstance doesn't work at McDonald's because they want to, it's the best of limited choices. I admittedly do not know the home situation of the mother and child, but certainly a child left at home alone is just as likely to get into trouble as being left in a very busy public park.

 

[Celldweller]

Was she acting out of desperation or is this just an extreme example of parental negligence? I agree completely with you all on the safety odds with the kid. My problem is what kind of message does this send a 9 year old who is left with the world at his fingertips with no accountability? So when he's 13, mom is so resigned that her son will simply make all the right decisions at home alone during an 8 hour shift? Lemme see, one case of curiousity combined with angst over mommy issues, mixed with discosvering moms alcohol stash, blended with other neglected neighborhood friends couldn't possibly be a recipe for disaster. /SpokenAsAFatherOfThreeAges9,7,1

Sounds like desperation to me. Someone in her circumstance doesn't work at McDonald's because they want to, it's the best of limited choices. I admittedly do not know the home situation of the mother and child, but certainly a child left at home alone is just as likely to get into trouble as being left in a very busy public park.

Ya think? Because no 9 year old could possibly reach a door lock and turn it.

 

[Toni]

The mother made a thoughtful decision to allow her child to play in a park (within walking distance to the McD's. The child walked from the park to the McD's where her mom worked for lunch) while she worked. Until the laptop was stolen from their home, the child used to sit in McD's and play on the lap top while her mother worked. After it was stolen, she asked if she could play in the nearby park, which was heavily used by other children. The mother gave her a cell phone and agreed. She provided her child with the same safe place to play and amuse herself that 40 or so other mothers made when they allowed their children to play in the same park on the same days at the same time.

Unfortunately, McD's does not pay enough to cover day care. On wages from McD's, the mom could not afford day camps either.


Since it was brought up: there does come a time/age of the child when the parent has to make some serious decisions about if and for how long and under what circumstances a child can be left alone. At 13, having a baby sittter is awkward but some parents manage it if there are younger siblings so that it can by 'for little sister/brother' because I know you are too old to have a baby sitter. A 13 year old is too young to have a regular job, although I, as did most other girls I knew, was babysitting for a few hours at a time for other kids, my own younger siblings and neighbors' kids. My own daughter also babysat at 13 for a few hours at a time for families we had screened very discretely.

But once you allow kids to stay home alone for many hours at a time, you do have to worry what temptations they might find when boredom creeps in. No parent actually wants their kid to veg in front of a screen all day.

Yet most parents need to be employed at jobs that take them outside of the home for hours at a time, multiple times a week. Personally, I strongly believe that it would be a great thing to have community centers/neighborhood centers/ Y's, etc. run high quality summer programs for children at free or nearly free cost.

Can I just say that this horror about leaving children alone is rather new? Please see the beautiful film Small Change by Francois Truffaut.

 

[bleubird]

I am with Bilby on this.I have two grand nieces that have gone though hell because the state got involved.my niece did 18 months for dirty dishes.
Shit.When I was nine I was pickin crops or gone on my bike till sunset.

 

[Celldweller]

So, because the laptop was stolen the child had no other means to entertain herself INSIDE the McDonalds? It was a lunch shift, is the child that screen addicted she couldn't do something else? I'm speculating here but I still find the decision making a bit odd on mom's part.

 

[Toni]

So, because the laptop was stolen the child had no other means to entertain herself INSIDE the McDonalds? It was a lunch shift, is the child that screen addicted she couldn't do something else? I'm speculating here but I still find the decision making a bit odd on mom's part.

In a McDonalds???? What was she supposed to do? Why can't she play in the park? My kids took themselves to the park, to the library, for bike rides--all without my eyes on them. Or cell phones! This child was close to where her mother was and had a good a d safe, efficient way to reach her mom or the police! if necessary.