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ideologyhunter said:
What did Kermit the Frog say at Jim Henson's funeral?
Nothing.
Click to expand...
Reminds me of when Mel Blanc died in the '80s.
Warner Bros. took a full page in Variety featuring cartoon charicters, Bugs Bunny in the center, surounding a microphone.
With the caption:
"SPEACHLESS"

... found it:
l4r4kwgwejbb1.jpg
I can't find a referance to Variety, so maybe I imagined that.
 
unapologetic said:
ideologyhunter said:
What did Kermit the Frog say at Jim Henson's funeral?
Nothing.
Click to expand...
Reminds me of when Mel Blanc died in the '80s.
Warner Bros. took a full page in Variety featuring cartoon charicters, Bugs Bunny in the center, surounding a microphone.
With the caption:
"SPEACHLESS"

... found it:
View attachment 54082
I can't find a referance to Variety, so maybe I imagined that.
Click to expand...
I remember that picture. For some reason Time magazine comes to mind.
 
Fairy tales revisited.

Baby Bear goes to the table and says, "Someone's been eating my porridge!"
Papa Bear comes over and says, "Someone's been eating my porridge!"
Mama Bear comes over and says, "Would you two assholes shut up? I haven't made the fucking porridge!"

Papa Bear and Mama Bear are in divorce court. The judge says to Baby Bear, "Now, Baby Bear, would you like to live with your mama?"
Baby Bear says, "Nah. That bitch beats the hell out of me."
The judge says, "Then we can let you live with your papa."
Baby Bear says, "No!! That crazy bastard beats me worse than that bitch."
The judge says, "Then who would you like to live with?"
Baby Bear says, "Send me to Chicago, to live with Grandma Bear."
The judge says, "Aren't you scared that she'll beat you?"
Baby Bear says, "Nah. The Chicago Bears never beat anyone."
 
An NYU coed starts dating a Russian exchange student. They decide to get into some BDSM scenarios. In their first session, she agrees to be tied up, and her boyfriend starts pinching her, giving her a few playful spanks, and pulling her hair back. After a few minutes she thinks, this is wack, but she can't remember their safe word. When she pulls away and says no, he thinks she's role playing, so he delivers a few more pinches and slaps. Finally she gives him a murderous look and says, "Vladislav!!! Oh, baby, Don't hurt me! Don't hurt me no more!!"
 
A drunk man sits down next to a priest on a bus. The drunk is disheveled. His face is smeared with lipstick and hickey marks, and he reeks of booze. He pulls out a tattered newspaper and starts to read. After a few minutes he looks up and says, "Father, I got a question. What causes arthritis?"
The priest can't help himself. He says, "Well, let's be honest, it can be a lifetime of bad decisions -- lying around all day, drinking cheap liquor, sleeping with cheap, vicious women, and in general living a life of sin." Then he reflects for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come on that strong. How long have you been afflicted with arthritis?"
The drunk says, "I aint got arthritis. It says here the Pope does."
 
A judge is sentencing the defendant. He says, "I hereby sentence you to ten years in --"
The defendant yells, "You jackass!!"
The judge says, "Congratulations. That's contempt of court, and you now owe the court $200."
The defendant pulls out his wallet and starts to thumb through it. The judge says, "You don't have to pay now. You will pay later."
The defendant says, "I'm just checking to see if I can afford two more words."
 
I said to Grandpa, "You're married for 60 years and you still call Grandma "honey bunch" and "sugar lips" and "sweetie pie." Okay, what's the secret to all that?"
Grandpa said, "I keep forgetting her name, and she'll murder me if I ask."
 
A movie producer hires a synth player to record a film score. The guy plays all the music in a tiny studio and gets paid. As he leaves he asks, "What's the name of the movie? I'll want to see it." The producer says, "It's called Fuck Mountain. It's porn."
A few months later the musician slips into a sleazy theater to see his movie. He's mortified. It's mostly an orgy set in a ski lodge, with bondage, S&M, and the participation of a St. Bernard that romps in and joins the action. He watches to the end, and when the lights come on he looks over at a couple sitting in his row. He says, "I didn't want to see this movie. I came to hear the music."
The wife says, "Oh, right. We just came to see our dog."
 
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