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What’s the difference between COVID-19 and Romeo and Juliet? One’s the coronavirus and the other is a Verona crisis.
 
An oldie but a classic.................

A guy is sitting at the doctor's office. The doctor walks in and says, "I have some bad news. I'm afraid you're going to have to stop masturbating." "I don't understand, doc," the patient says. "Why?" "Because," the doctor says. "I'm trying to examine you."
 
After sex last night, my new girlfriend snuggled up next to me and said, "You know, you are by far the biggest I've ever had".

Apparently "Ditto" is not the right response.
 
Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven, where they are met at the Perly Gates by St. Peter.
He says, "Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives, that I’m granting you six months to go back to Earth and be anyone you want."
The first nun says, "I want-a to be Sophia Loren" and *poof!* she’s gone.
The second says, "I want-a to be Madonna" and *poof!* she’s gone.
The third says, "I want-a to be Sara Pipalini."
St. Peter looks perplexed.
"Who?" he says.
"Sara Pipalini" replies the nun.
St. Peter shakes his head and says "I’m sorry but that name just doesn’t ring a bell."
The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter.
He reads the paper and starts laughing.
He hands it back to her and says “No Sister, this says 'Sahara Pipeline laid by 500 men in 7 days!'"
 
Apparently one of the symptoms of Covid-19 is a lack of taste.
Looking back at my ex-girlfriends and ex-wives I must have had Covid-19 for decades.
 
Apparently one of the symptoms of Covid-19 is a lack of taste.
Looking back at my ex-girlfriends and ex-wives I must have had Covid-19 for decades.

Christ, how many have you had? I would've thought one would give up after 2-3 max!

Yes,,, It is said that even a second marriage represents the triumph of hope over experience,
 
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