Jimmy Higgins
Contributor
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2001
- Messages
- 46,712
- Basic Beliefs
- Calvinistic Atheist
Labels, she qualified for help with the ADHD. Whether we call her off baseline behavior autism or not, I'm less interested in.
I want to note that when I say self-centered, I mean so self focused that nothing else exists. My sister was (remains?) like that, in that it isn't as simple thinking what she wants or needs matters more than other people, but that she is the only thing that wants. It isn't personal, she isn't being mean, she just seems oblivious, very often.
But yes, she is tweening it up, and that is providing a whole new sort of fun, of to which I am remarkably unschooled and unprepared for. Though honestly, with that stuff, I'm more willing to let that stuff go.
Obviously, the toughest thing is when to fight. And I'm learning at this point, sometimes when to fight when it matters, doesn't matter enough. This stuff is hard, especially as an only child set up. I wish I had the hindsight I'll have in several years. I wish I knew now, back when. I'm learning giving it time helps. She just needs it. Even if something needs to happen, I'm learning unless it is literal life or limb, there is no benefit for making an issue immediately of it, and rather addressing it later. I'd never have gotten away with what she does sometimes, oh boy, but she isn't me. And that environmental programming stuff isn't easy to break away from. Especially when said grandparent (my living parent) doesn't get it.
I kind of hate (jealous hate) teachers/administrators at times because they have so much experience with children, and these days a disposition for a much more positive and less impulsive reaction to misbehavior or stubbornness. Be nice to carve off some of that experience and attitude for myself.
I want to note that when I say self-centered, I mean so self focused that nothing else exists. My sister was (remains?) like that, in that it isn't as simple thinking what she wants or needs matters more than other people, but that she is the only thing that wants. It isn't personal, she isn't being mean, she just seems oblivious, very often.
But yes, she is tweening it up, and that is providing a whole new sort of fun, of to which I am remarkably unschooled and unprepared for. Though honestly, with that stuff, I'm more willing to let that stuff go.
I understand her better than just about anyone on the planet, including my wife (though I'm needing to adapt to her lying for convenience behaviors now). But there is a block there that I still can't peer into. I struggle most with dealing with that block.The goal isn’t to make things ‘easier’ but to help all of you develop better coping skills. If you have not already started to do so, I suspect you will also find yourself occasionally retreating to your own adolescent world view.
Obviously, the toughest thing is when to fight. And I'm learning at this point, sometimes when to fight when it matters, doesn't matter enough. This stuff is hard, especially as an only child set up. I wish I had the hindsight I'll have in several years. I wish I knew now, back when. I'm learning giving it time helps. She just needs it. Even if something needs to happen, I'm learning unless it is literal life or limb, there is no benefit for making an issue immediately of it, and rather addressing it later. I'd never have gotten away with what she does sometimes, oh boy, but she isn't me. And that environmental programming stuff isn't easy to break away from. Especially when said grandparent (my living parent) doesn't get it.
I kind of hate (jealous hate) teachers/administrators at times because they have so much experience with children, and these days a disposition for a much more positive and less impulsive reaction to misbehavior or stubbornness. Be nice to carve off some of that experience and attitude for myself.
Oh, I'm not, but I mean well.But I think you’re well equipped for this.