The universe was farted out of the butt of a giant space goat.
You want me to prove it? *gasp* How dare you? I am offended that you asked me to prove that my truth claim is true! Why can't you respect my beliefs? Why must you be so hateful and attack me so viciously? Why are you so angry?
Well, since you can't be civil, fine. I will offer you your stupid proof.
First, the universe is evidence of the giant space goat. The universe exists, therefore space goat.
Second, you can't explain why there is something rather than nothing, but I can, therefore giant space goat.
Third, you can't prove that a giant space goat didn't fart the universe into existence, therefore giant space goat.
Fourth, the reason you reject the giant space goat is that you have to want to find the giant space goat. You have to seek him with your heart, or you will never find him. Therefore, giant space goat.
Fifth, you can't possibly have purpose or meaning if you don't believe in the giant space goat, therefore giant space goat. Look, you can believe in the giant space goat or you can believe in nothing.
Sixth, if you don't believe in the giant space goat, you will have to eat boogers after you die. You don't want to eat boogers, do you? Look, I can't tell you what to believe. The choice is up to you. Just know that death is coming and that you don't want to eat boogers for eternity. Choose wisely!
Lastly, I have a personal relationship with the giant space goat and I have special feelings that let me know the giant space goat is real.
I bet you feel silly for following that false religion all these years. Aren't you glad that I shared with you the good news about the giant space goat?