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Things that make you laugh...

You'd think we'd have made better use of the thesaurus when we established all this shit...
And all this time I was wondering who to blame...
Yeah, my lawyer used to advise I not admit to anything, but at this point, he's hoping the notoriety will help the book sales.

It's me. I made it possible to report that the officer in command of the unit sent word to the commander back at Command that he'd given commands to his unit command about returning to The Command.
 
But D&D wasn't my fault. Using the stairs to go down a level, to fight monsters on the lower levels to get EP to make US high-level so we can go down to the lowest level and fight the high-level monsters that live there, and we'll got up at least a level.
But we need a thief in the party for game balance, to keep everything level...
 
So, 'Para.'
A para-legal is someone with some training in law, but is not completely useful as a lawyer.
A para-medic is someone with some training in medicine, but is not completely useful as a doctor.

So, para- might be a prefix meaning 'close enough for some purposes, but not perfect?'

So would a yardstick be a para-meter?

A coordinate chart with only one axis instead of two, would that be a para-graph?

If you have a trash chute hanging over a dumpster, but it's not tied down, so it swings, and sometimes trash doesn't land in the dumpster. Would that be a para-chute?

If you only have one shoe, but that's okay because your other foot was amputated would the one shoe still count as a para-shoes?
 
So, 'Para.'
A para-legal is someone with some training in law, but is not completely useful as a lawyer.
A para-medic is someone with some training in medicine, but is not completely useful as a doctor.

So, para- might be a prefix meaning 'close enough for some purposes, but not perfect?'

So would a yardstick be a para-meter?

A coordinate chart with only one axis instead of two, would that be a para-graph?

If you have a trash chute hanging over a dumpster, but it's not tied down, so it swings, and sometimes trash doesn't land in the dumpster. Would that be a para-chute?

If you only have one shoe, but that's okay because your other foot was amputated would the one shoe still count as a para-shoes?


When the moon hits your eye
Like a big pizza pie
That's amore.

When an eel bites your hand
And that's not what you planned
That's a moray.

When our habits are strange
And our customs deranged
That's our mores.

When your mule’s eating lunch
And you bring ‘nother bunch
That's some more hay.

When Othello's poor wife
She gets stabbed with a knife
That's a Moor, eh?

When a Japanese knight
Used a sword in a fight
That's Samurai.
 
What constitutes a "command"? I'm thinking of small craft used to run in to shore.
Pretty much. It's a unit capable of independent operations. The Captain's Gig doesn't have mess, berthing or bathroom facilities, so it can be given tasking, but it needs support from the command it's attached to.
And, like, a recruiting office is not a command, but it's an outlier for a district office that is the command.
A warehouse won't be a command, but it might be one of several warehouses, and trucks and one office, that make up a particular shore command.
The office in front of our building, the program oversight for our Navy support operations, they're a command.
And Apollo (and the stuff before) didn't have toilets, yet they certainly had people in command.
Well, even the captain's gig will be sent out with an officer 'in command' of the party on board, but that doesn't make it an independent command.

Same way that 'captain' is a rank AND a position. Sometimes THE Captain is also A captain, but not always. My first Captain was a commander until he made captain. I had to explain that to the Air Force Lieutenant who thought he was a Captain, but I knew that Captains had eagles because our Captain had made Captain.

You'd think we'd have made better use of the thesaurus when we established all this shit...

Blame the British. And the Romans.

The word 'captain' is derived from latin, where capo just means 'boss'. The mafia still use it this way.

The rank of 'Captain' in the Royal Navy is an abbreviation of "Post Captain" - a person with sufficient authority to command a ship of the line (fourth rate or better), and whose further career progression is determined by seniority on the "Captains List".

The role of 'captain' is that of the person (of any rank) who is in command of a specific ship. In an era when communications were impossible as soon as any vessel was out of visual range, that person was given absolute authority over his vessel and its crew; Literally the power of life or death over any subordinate - he could have any man hanged without reference to higher authority, as the only higher authority was God. This status was felt worthy of a clear and recognisable honorific, so that none were in doubt as to who was boss.

Of course, there were plenty of ships far smaller than a Fourth Rate ship of the line, so many ships' captains were of lesser rank than Post Captain. Even a midshipman could become captain of a captured prize, with orders to sail it back to a friendly port. So any officer could be the captain of a ship; But only a Post Captain could be appointed as the captain of a First, Second, Third or Fourth Rate.

Then the army came along, and used the same rank structure; But in the absence of any ships, and the presence of many egos, ranks suffered serious inflation. An army captain commanded a number of men roughly equal to the crew of a Sixth Rate ship, so he was considerably junior to even the most junior naval Post Captain. Indeed, this led to a problem - the Marines were soldiers assigned to duty on board ship, and their primary role was to put down mutiny, so they were treated as army, rather than navy, to reduce fraternisation with the sailors they might be called upon to fight. But the man in command of the marine force on a large ship might well hold the army rank of 'captain', and you can't have a junior officer on your ship going around being addressed as 'captain'. So to this day, Royal Marine captains are given a temporary promotion, when on board ship, to the rank of major. (I don't know whether this also applies to captains in the USMC when onboard naval vessels).

It's a major source of confusion amongst civilians.
 
If you only have one shoe, but that's okay because your other foot was amputated would the one shoe still count as a para-shoes?
A coworker predicted that this one would cause my divorce.
My wife said, no, she laughed. But if she ever does file for divorce, this will be listed among the complaints. Figures 5 out of 6 judges will throw all the books at me....
 
If you only have one shoe, but that's okay because your other foot was amputated would the one shoe still count as a para-shoes?
A coworker predicted that this one would cause my divorce.
My wife said, no, she laughed. But if she ever does file for divorce, this will be listed among the complaints. Figures 5 out of 6 judges will throw all the books at me....

There goes your chances of dise.

In fact, you've probably not even a hope of paradise.

You haven't a leg to stand on. In fact, you are completely plegic.

See, my thoughts are following a llel path. It's doxical that my place in dise is assured. Almost.
 
Pretty much. It's a unit capable of independent operations. The Captain's Gig doesn't have mess, berthing or bathroom facilities, so it can be given tasking, but it needs support from the command it's attached to.
And, like, a recruiting office is not a command, but it's an outlier for a district office that is the command.
A warehouse won't be a command, but it might be one of several warehouses, and trucks and one office, that make up a particular shore command.
The office in front of our building, the program oversight for our Navy support operations, they're a command.

Well, even the captain's gig will be sent out with an officer 'in command' of the party on board, but that doesn't make it an independent command.

Same way that 'captain' is a rank AND a position. Sometimes THE Captain is also A captain, but not always. My first Captain was a commander until he made captain. I had to explain that to the Air Force Lieutenant who thought he was a Captain, but I knew that Captains had eagles because our Captain had made Captain.

You'd think we'd have made better use of the thesaurus when we established all this shit...

Blame the British. And the Romans.

The word 'captain' is derived from latin, where capo just means 'boss'. The mafia still use it this way.

The rank of 'Captain' in the Royal Navy is an abbreviation of "Post Captain" - a person with sufficient authority to command a ship of the line (fourth rate or better), and whose further career progression is determined by seniority on the "Captains List".

The role of 'captain' is that of the person (of any rank) who is in command of a specific ship. In an era when communications were impossible as soon as any vessel was out of visual range, that person was given absolute authority over his vessel and its crew; Literally the power of life or death over any subordinate - he could have any man hanged without reference to higher authority, as the only higher authority was God. This status was felt worthy of a clear and recognisable honorific, so that none were in doubt as to who was boss.

Of course, there were plenty of ships far smaller than a Fourth Rate ship of the line, so many ships' captains were of lesser rank than Post Captain. Even a midshipman could become captain of a captured prize, with orders to sail it back to a friendly port. So any officer could be the captain of a ship; But only a Post Captain could be appointed as the captain of a First, Second, Third or Fourth Rate.

Then the army came along, and used the same rank structure; But in the absence of any ships, and the presence of many egos, ranks suffered serious inflation. An army captain commanded a number of men roughly equal to the crew of a Sixth Rate ship, so he was considerably junior to even the most junior naval Post Captain. Indeed, this led to a problem - the Marines were soldiers assigned to duty on board ship, and their primary role was to put down mutiny, so they were treated as army, rather than navy, to reduce fraternisation with the sailors they might be called upon to fight. But the man in command of the marine force on a large ship might well hold the army rank of 'captain', and you can't have a junior officer on your ship going around being addressed as 'captain'. So to this day, Royal Marine captains are given a temporary promotion, when on board ship, to the rank of major. (I don't know whether this also applies to captains in the USMC when onboard naval vessels).

It's a major source of confusion amongst civilians.

I seem to remember JFK was called captain on the PT boats he commanded but his actual rank was Lieutenant JG.
 
So, 'Para.'
A para-legal is someone with some training in law, but is not completely useful as a lawyer.
A para-medic is someone with some training in medicine, but is not completely useful as a doctor.

So, para- might be a prefix meaning 'close enough for some purposes, but not perfect?'

So would a yardstick be a para-meter?

A coordinate chart with only one axis instead of two, would that be a para-graph?

If you have a trash chute hanging over a dumpster, but it's not tied down, so it swings, and sometimes trash doesn't land in the dumpster. Would that be a para-chute?

If you only have one shoe, but that's okay because your other foot was amputated would the one shoe still count as a para-shoes?

Someone who is certifiable is crazy.

So what is a certified public accountant?
 
Oh, my nothing, I've suffered a full-blown flashback. A movie flashback. Full immersion, different background music, everything.
I saw this post:

Then Margaret said to Harry, "Well if that’s the way you feel!" And Harry said, “You bet I do!” Then Charlanne came over and chimed in and said she agreed with Harry, of all things! Like maybe there’s something going on with those two we don’t know about. And Michael is clueless as to what’s going on. Well, anyways Margaret storms out and runs over to see Michael, but she can’t find him and goes over to George and Anne. But George is too sick to listen to her problems so he just walks off, but Anne tried to comfort her and of all things tells her she saw Charlanne and Harry last week talking to each other quietly away from everyone else. Well we all know though about Steve and Harry . . . Hey! Are you listening to me?!?

I was THERE!

In the 80's, the submarine I was on was home-ported in Kings Bay, the ammo dump that Jimmy Carter thought would make a great submarine base. The crew was home-ported in Charleston, SC. Every patrol, we'd ride four big busses down to the port, and the pier, take the sub, and four months later, take the busses back to Charleston.

IIRC, it was about a 3 hour drive, 5 hours by bus, 2.5 hours if you were running home for the weekend and had to be back on the sub Monday morning....

One patrol, my chief's wife drove down, and he offered me a ride home in his back seat. Sounded good to me. So, there's Chief Boyle, Mrs. Boyle, two sea-bags and me. In a Ford Escort.
We're five minutes onto the freeway when Mrs. Boyle starts talking about everything we missed. She mentioned Reagan three times, then local (Charleston) Politics for five more minutes, then started talking about these people.
I assumed it was family matters. Because she was talking about who was having sex with who, who tried to blackmail someone else, who got kidnapped....
No idea who these people are, but I assume Chief does.
Nope.
After half a goddamned hour, he turns to her and asks, "What the fuck are you talking about?"
She was updating us on the plot of her favorite soap opera, everything that had happened since we took the boat 4 months previous.

The rest of the entire drive was fighting about what goddamned subjects were appropriate conversation for a man who still smelled like diesel smoke, then bitter silences, then his attempted apology, then her continuing the Guiding Light (or whatever), him blowing up again, another fight.....

And me searching the back seat for an escape tunnel or a ejector switch.
 
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