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Things that make you laugh...

Elixir said:
bilby said:
Anyone who's been awake since the mid-60s really ought to know that already.
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'cept if you've been in NK the whole time. It would be interesting to see how Kim explained the fireworks to his worshipers.
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i expect they'd be in red/white/blue, so, "Tribute from a very frightened USA!!"
 
Keith&Co. said:
Loren Pechtel said:
We could warn Russia and China just before the bird flew and a Trident thundering overhead with it's booster still burning is far more dramatic than a Tomahawk. We would have to dispatch some ships along with it for defense because it would require being pretty close.
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um,....no.
No, the D-5 has a minimum range, too. To get a burning 1st stage rocket overhead, we'd have to launch right in the Yellow Sea, by Pyonyang, aimimg across the city, at a target in Russia... or maybe Alaska.

Warning Russia that it was a stunt would not make them any happier about the trajectory.

But, really, a Tomahawk scattering fireworks across the sky would definitely send the message to the right people.
"You are in range. Now, tonight, tomorrow, any time we want to. You didnblow up today because we choose not to."
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Yeah, you would have to fire from the Yellow Sea--that's why I said escorts would be needed. The used missile would be heading for Alaska if it wasn't programmed to go into the water first.

Note I said a depressed trajectory shot--those don't have a minimum range. Accuracy suffers but I'm sure these days the missiles are good enough that it would be close enough. It's not like you're after a pinpoint target.
 
Keith&Co. said:
Elixir said:
bilby said:
Anyone who's been awake since the mid-60s really ought to know that already.
Click to expand...

'cept if you've been in NK the whole time. It would be interesting to see how Kim explained the fireworks to his worshipers.
Click to expand...
i expect they'd be in red/white/blue, so, "Tribute from a very frightened USA!!"
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I didn't think of using colored shells--nice addition.

And in addition to the fireworks you could put a lot of bits of paper that said "the normal payload of this missile could have basically destroyed your entire country."
 
Loren Pechtel said:
Note I said a depressed trajectory shot--those don't have a minimum range.
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yeah, this system doesn't do those.
Thise were a theoretical idea for shooting under someone's radar in previous systems, but not now.
When the missile lights off, the programmjng is for altitude. It recovers from whatever conditions it finds itself in, and goes straight up.
And the programming has a minimum range. We cannot target for the purpose of demonstration.

Stiiiiiiill think you're gonna end up with a GN.
 
Desperate Volcano Willing to Accept Virgins Who Have Only Done Butt Stuff

HILO, Hawaii — Active volcano Mauna Loa retracted it’s strict “virgins only” policy last week and is now open to accepting sacrifices of people who have only engaged in ass play, sources known to commune with the volcano confirmed.

“Look, I’m not happy about this. I’d prefer virgins fresh as the driven snow, with a hymen as thick as a cow’s tongue,” lamented Mauna Loa while churning molten lava. “But times change. Girls experiment more than they used to before letting a big ol’ salami in through the front door. And a volcano’s gotta eat — it doesn’t even matter if they are ‘my type’ at this point. I’m open to any sorts of women; just toss ‘em on down.”
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I do early morning chicken deliveries to various fast food restaurants, where I get a key and alarm code, so I have the entire place to myself. There aren't even any people out on the street at 5:30 on a rainy Saturday. It's like the Marie Celeste, or a scene from the movie The Quiet Earth.

I had a big delivery to KFC Loganholme this morning at about 5:30am, so I was going back and forth from the truck to the coolroom. It was raining, so I started singing The Sun and the Rain as I worked.

I was half way through the second verse when I turned around from the coolroom to find the store manager standing right behind me, grinning from ear to ear. I have no idea how long she had been listening to my tuneless caterwauling. But I suspect it was quite a while.
 
Copied from YouTube comments:

"Dubai the type of city i built in simcity when i didnt understand zoning and just plopped down landmark skyscrapers one after another till i got bankrupt. I was 9 years old."
 
Every so often, very infrequently, we go to the specialty market and get dinner from their deli. It's good stuff. I always see the sweet and sour meatballs under the heat lamp, and remember i enjoyed those last time. I throw them on a bowl of sesame noodles from the fridge right beside the meatballs. I have my dinner, done.
The rest of the clan takes for damned ever to make up their minds.
But when they do....
"I got ribs!" Oh. I did not see they had ribs. Those look good.
"I got sushi!" Ah. I forgot this store had a sushi counter. It's pretty good.
"I got pizza." Cool. I don't like pepperoni... "No, this is Canadian bacon, Monterrey Jack, and pineapple!" Oh. Just like that pizza place when i was a kid.
On the drive home, smells fill the car and the goblins discuss what they didn't choose, and then there's a game of 'what are you getting next time?'
Which i always say, "i'll be getting meatballs and noodles because that's what i got last time, and enjoyed, i have the brains of a record player stuck in the run-out-groove."

"What's a run-out-groove?"
"What's a record player?"
 
[YOUTUBE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLZxYhmXTK0[/YOUTUBE]
 
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