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Things that make you laugh...

So, driving around town, there's a song that has a siren in the background. I flinch, check the rear-view, look to see if anyone's pulling over, then laugh at myself for flinching because a song on the radio had a siren effect.
Half a block later, i realize that i haven't listened to the car radio for the last two years. This car allows me to listen to a thumb drive.
I also recall that i have purged my playlists of all such songs, exactly because i hate false alarms like that.
check the rearview again, just in time to see a fire engine turn the corner and point straight at me.
Of course, no one else even tries to pull over because this is the Berkshires and everyone wants to get at least one care length further before capitulating. Also, they're passing those 'wimps' that pull over before the absolute last second.

Eventually get back on the road (behind three cars that passed while i was on the shoulder), and drive home, wondering why i ever thought that the Pink Panther theme had a siren effect...
 
A chuckle good enough?

I typed "Page 007". Are pagers too old-school for James Bond to have gotten the message?

(And for a rant: There's a document feeder on the scanner--but no way to use it to scan. It only works for copying and faxing.)
 
The Lysol commercial told me to disinfect things I touch the most.

I have a feeling this is going to burn.
 
According to experts, it’s important to keep up with your usual daily routine during this time of isolation.

So, starting with the usual alarm, then simulating my commute.... I stood at the end of my driveway and swore at every third car for driving like an idiot.

Couldn’t log onto the GDMS network for half an hour, but once I decided I HAVE to go into the office, it worked. So, typical IT functions.

I’ve complained about the selection available in the galley.

When my kid pointed out I’m the one that does the shopping to stock the galley, I told him, “Your mom’s a galley!” So, typical interaction with coworkers.

The fridge wouldn’t accept my dollar bill, so I got a free coke. Atypical.

Lined up six teddy bears and explained he Leap Second Adjustment. Got the typical engagement from half my classes.

Had my little talk with HR (HeRself) about ‘your mom’ jokes in the current work environment. (Summary: No.) Fairly standard.

Filled out a travel request for a trip to the post office later. Waiting for approval.

Four meetings where attendance is mandatory but contribution is nil. Kids keep asking why i stare at the wall without moving.

Now just sitting here logging back into AIM over and over and over and…

Another day, another checkmark for routine.
 
Arctish said:
The Groceries That No One Wants to Panic-Buy

First on the list: Pasta Made From Chickpeas
Click to expand...

Was in Safeway yesterday carrying out a directive to find some spaghetti noodles, but not the store brand. There were a few packages of weird twisted noodles left on the shelf but spaghetti was almost all sold out, even the store brand. Almost, because there was a completely full facing of spaghetti noodles that were imported from Italy.
People ... fucking hopeless.
 
Shopping with my wife today, at 7:00 AM, as we walked into the grocery store, which was completely empty except for staff and very few shoppers, and passing some display of weirdly colorful pastry things, she starts making these giant sweeping motions with her arms and hands saying "get it all, just fill the cart, no telling what's left, save yourself" . . .

Yesterday we were checking out the backyard, seeing what was coming up early in the garden with the warm weather and where we have a small koi pond, my wife says dead panned, remember to feed the gold fish, they're on our menu next weekend . . .
 
IF YOU GET AN E-MAIL SAYING "DING-DONG" DON'T OPEN IT !

IT'S A JEHOVAHS WITNESS
WORKING FROM HOME.​
 
Seniors during quarantine

''I was in a long line at 7:45 am today at the grocery store that opened at 8 for seniors only. A young man came from the parking lot and tried to cut in at the front of the line, but an old lady beat him back into the parking lot with her cane.

He returned and tried to cut in again but an old man punched him in the gut, then kicked him to the ground and rolled him away.

As he approached the line for the 3rd time he said, "If you don't let me unlock the door, you'll never get in there."
 
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