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Things that make you laugh...

hyzer said:
Loren Pechtel said:
Keith&Co. said:
View attachment 27182Winged in the weiner during a Windy City weiner-stand stand-off?
A real weiner winner.




Oh, don't get up. I'll let myself out.
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This doesn't indicate if he gets a Darwin.
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I have always felt that one can only bestow a Darwin Award if at first you determined that they haven't bred yet. Otherwise, what is the point?
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No, the Darwin Award People have stated that it's about the act of removing yourself from the gene pool. Existing offspring at the time of a Darwin don't make the choice you made any less of a stupid one.
 
Kids suggested a game of Monopoly, for real money. Pretty simple, every game dollar is a real world penny. $20 buy-in, the bank uses the penny jar and the pizza fund.

Fun, but i don't remember all of these Chance cards...
Everyone older than the internet, pay the player to their right a fee to change the server password?
Monty Python Concert! Everyone alive when they were on the air pays $25 for concert tickets...
 
A friend of mine in the UK ordered a book online from a vendor in Galway. Ireland. Delivery is free, but will take "40-60 business days".

As he said, "[I am] reminded of the conversation between an Irishman and a Spaniard. After listening to an explanation of 'mañana', the Irishman thinks a while and says, 'I don't believe there's a word in the Irish language conveying that degree of urgency'."
 
A student was suspended yesterday. The following is the incident report:

T started pulling with force at the pailings off the fence at the Wellbeing Garden. He was asked to stop by the Principal but refused saying she couldn't tell him what to do. Principal informed him calmly he needed to stop or he could get into trouble, he replied that she could do nothing as the Prime Minister has said his mum needs to work so he can do what he wants. T was cranky that the DP had taken his phone and put it in the office even though he had received multiple opportunities throughout he morning to hand it in voluntarily when approached by staff. He had been on his phone during the lunch break and had handed it to the DP after the DP had told him he needed to hand it in. T continued to rip at the fence and broke a door down.
 
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Daily unit phone meeting, lockdown Day 1: scrupulous use of the mute button. Boss queries the unit in alphabetical order of last name , assigns tasks clearly, the only background noise is one dog toy, one partial 'Daddy's on the-'.

Twenty eight daily meetings later. I heard the dog. I heard someone loading a dishwasher. Someone pouring cereal. A death threat involving a child, not sure if a child was being threatened or reporting a recent threat. A washing machine or uncontrolled flooding in shaft alley. A request to 'take my car' to keep the battery charged.
Workers were queried by, if i'm not mistaken, the order in which the supervisor passes their cubes on the way to the printer.
Most conversations were:
"Keith?"
"Same shit, different day."
"A'ight. Tony?"
"Same."

I think the novelty of the entire unit working from home is starting to fade, just the tiniest bit.
 
MrzwnTn.jpg
Wait.
Baby...power?
I have stolen some noses in my time, but...power?
Is this a Highlander thing?
And what's he covered with?
 
So, just as well i didn't play shopping trip for moneybthus week. I'd have gotten cleaned OUT in Produce. No leeks, no cilantro, no scallions, no lemongrass, no potatoes. How the hell are we supposed to maintain the minimum level of civilization without access to raw potatoes, i ask you?
Weird, though. The kids haven't submitted a recipe asking for leeks in years, and they both want the things THE DAY they can't have em? How did thry know...?
 
I think my wife's been in lockdown too long. She literally just tried to call one of her friends using the cable remote.
 
My wife is on several committees in our home town of Silver Spring, Maryland. Their meetings are all on line now, of course. Last night I wandered in to watch a discussion of how libraries are serving the population during the quarantine. At the end, she had several elected officials address her committee, again about medical services and other services in our County and town. All was fine, except that the IT person that was running the meeting must have forgotten that we can see his cursor move, and it was moving continuously throughout the meeting. The IT person spent a lot of time running his cursor around the faces of the presenters - like some sort of wayward fly . . . then my wife grabbed her mouse and used her cursor to chase the cursor "off their faces". We nearly died laughing. Good thing we were on mute.

Check your cursors people!
 
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