Things that make you laugh...

[Keith&Co.]

I spoke to my sister yesterday. She called to discuss dad's recent hospital stay. I didn't know he was home.
Called Dad to ask, 'Why you tell S- the staus change, but not me?"
Simple logic... 'my' phone wasn't charged.
Evidently he calls certain people using the phone on the wall.
Others, via the phone on the counter. The one the cat can reach. The cat discharged 'my' phone, and therefore he could not call me until it charged.

He won't explain the split, but i suspect that he just cannot program a phone anymore, and cannot remember phone numbers, and if a battery dies, we'll never hear ftom him again...

Kinda like grandma lost the hang of area codes, so if you weren't in her local dialing area, she just stopped talking to you.
She also turned down the bell on her fone because it rattled her hearing aid....

Still complained, 'I never hear from S-' of course.

 

[ZiprHead]

A new game!

That's so evil I'm going to do it.

 

[Angry Floof]

The transcripton AI just turned "a bigger following" to "the big you're fondling."

 

[ZiprHead]

The transcripton AI just turned "a bigger following" to "the big you're fondling."

Sounds like a poorly translated asian porno.

 

[spikepipsqueak]

I had a call from an old friend just now.

We "met" in the later IIDB days and corresponded off the board and continued after he lost interest here.

Every email was all about him and I didn't mind for the first 8 years or so. I cut the link about 3 years ago when something was happening in my life that really would have justified at least a polite interest on his part. Nada.

Tonight, he rang to tell me that he was OK.

At the risk of making a sexist statement, the most selfish woman in the world (and I may be acquainted with her) would have made the pretense of ringing to ask after me.

Perhaps this belongs in rants but people really are funny.

 

[bilby]

I had a call from an old friend just now.

We "met" in the later IIDB days and corresponded off the board and continued after he lost interest here.

Every email was all about him and I didn't mind for the first 8 years or so. I cut the link about 3 years ago when something was happening in my life that really would have justified at least a polite interest on his part. Nada.

Tonight, he rang to tell me that he was OK.

At the risk of making a sexist statement, the most selfish woman in the world (and I may be acquainted with her) would have made the pretense of ringing to ask after me.

Perhaps this belongs in rants but people really are funny.

Wow. Even I think that's self centred. Me. And I can be pretty self centred. I really can.

 

[Angry Floof]

I had a call from an old friend just now.

We "met" in the later IIDB days and corresponded off the board and continued after he lost interest here.

Every email was all about him and I didn't mind for the first 8 years or so. I cut the link about 3 years ago when something was happening in my life that really would have justified at least a polite interest on his part. Nada.

Tonight, he rang to tell me that he was OK.

At the risk of making a sexist statement, the most selfish woman in the world (and I may be acquainted with her) would have made the pretense of ringing to ask after me.

Perhaps this belongs in rants but people really are funny.

Wow. Even I think that's self centred. Me. And I can be pretty self centred. I really can.

But you have full, lush facial hair so you can get away with it.

 

[Angry Floof]

"RPU metrics" is now "our poo metrics."

 

[Keith&Co.]

"RPU metrics" is now "our poo metrics."

"Oh, bother."

 

[spikepipsqueak]

"RPU metrics" is now "our poo metrics."

Good job they have you as the human in the loop.

 

[Angry Floof]

"RPU metrics" is now "our poo metrics."

Good job they have you as the human in the loop.

Yep, because someone else might not "accidentally" leave that one in.

 

[gmbteach]

I had a call from an old friend just now.

We "met" in the later IIDB days and corresponded off the board and continued after he lost interest here.

Every email was all about him and I didn't mind for the first 8 years or so. I cut the link about 3 years ago when something was happening in my life that really would have justified at least a polite interest on his part. Nada.

Tonight, he rang to tell me that he was OK.

At the risk of making a sexist statement, the most selfish woman in the world (and I may be acquainted with her) would have made the pretense of ringing to ask after me.

Perhaps this belongs in rants but people really are funny.

Wow. Even I think that's self centred. Me. And I can be pretty self centred. I really can.

But you have full, lush facial hair so you can get away with it.

Not full, he has a circle beard.

 

[gmbteach]

 

[ZiprHead]

WHAT RELIGION IS YOUR BRA?
A man walked into the ladies department and shyly walked up to
the woman behind the counter and said,
'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife. '
' What type of bra?' asked the clerk.
'Type?' inquires the man, 'There's more than one type?'
' Look around,' said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable.
'Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from.'
Relieved, the man asked about the types.
The saleslady replied:
'There are the Catholic, Salvation Army, Presbyterian, and the Baptist types.
Which one would you prefer?'
Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.
The Saleslady responded, 'It is all really quite simple.'
The Catholic type supports the masses;
The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen;
The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright;
The Baptist type makes mountains out of molehills.
Oh and
Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD , E, F, G, and H are the letters used
to define bra sizes?
If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!
{A} Almost Boobs.
{B} Barely there.
{C} Can't Complain.
{D} Dang!
{DD} Double dang!
{E} Enormous!
{F} Fake.
{G} Get a Reduction.
{H} Help me, I've fallen
and I can't get up!
Send this to all that will appreciate it!
.
Oh...They forgot the German bra.
Holtzemfromfloppen!!

 

[gmbteach]

 

[Keith&Co.]

Son's friend has a dog, Bobby. Bobby's been in the ddamily for yesrs, so he's just 'Bobby,' where the friend's new friend is 'Human Bobby' to tell them apart. Human Bobby hates being called Human Bobby. More tgan once, i have been in divisions with people sharing the last name, and said there are many options.
Maybe he could be Tall Bobby. Or Opposable Thumbs Bobby. Or Doesn't Lick Dog Balls Bobby. Go far enough with this, he'll BEG to be Human Bobby.

We once had a new guy check in to be the third Petty Officer Johnson. LPO looked him up, down. 'Okay, you can be White Johnson.' The other two had been Big Johnson and Little Johnson, But Little was this guy's size. LPO pointed to Big. 'You are now Cool Johnson.' To Little, 'You are now Smoker Johnson.'
'Not sure if I wanna be White Johnson...'
Smoker puts an arm across the kid's shoulders. 'Would you rather Mrs. Johnson?'
Upon due consideration, White discovered he was fine with White.

 

[Keith&Co.]

Just do the dishes, Devon. If there HAD been an expiration date, you would have started a fight ten years ago.

 

[Angry Floof]

 

[ZiprHead]

I have to take my ass to the grocery store today. Wish me luck.

 

[Angry Floof]

Brad Parscale looks like a baby chick.