Elixir
Made in America
Sounds like a real winner, Floof. IQ est 95, 5'3", 114 lbs
Never certain though - could be a diminutive genius with limited English language skills.
If you're in the market... keep shopping. </$0.02>
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Sounds like a real winner, Floof. IQ est 95, 5'3", 114 lbs
Never certain though - could be a diminutive genius with limited English language skills.
If you're in the market... keep shopping. </$0.02>
Keith&Co.
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Most of all, I would support your "I've never responded to him at all" practice.
But part of me would be tempted sorely by these questions...
"I am looking for a new host for my dark master. What is your blood type?"
"I am looking for someone who was turned on when they watched The Crying Game."
"Diminutive genius."
I like that one. Yeah, I'm pretty sure he's not anyone's dream guy. If he's sincere, I feel bad for him and hope he finds someone. On the other hand, it's the internet. Maybe he just need to hone some internet social skills.
haha! Damn I didn't think of that.
Me: what is your blood type?
Him: I'm attracted to good women who are well-groomed, in good shape, relatively intelligent and mature, with a sense of humor and a good heart. Someone who chooses to experience life rather than rush through it
Me: Do you have good teeth? What is your blood type?
Him: i have a good teeth, but i do not understand what you mean by my blood type
Me: (link to explain blood type)
Me: You may need to contact your doctor to ask.
Him: ok, now i understand you
am O' positive ok
ganitype AA
and you my love
are you there
can i see your picture
Me: Would you be willing to send me a dna sample? Better yet, could you have your dna analyzed and send me the analysis data? It's only about $100 for the analysis.
Him: i really want to know who i am dealing with so we can move on
Me: My thoughts exactly.
Him: i have over 50 Kg of gold that i will be sending along though courier service
Me. Excellent, thanks.
Him: but before i comence with tyhat, i need asurance that you will be honest with me
Me: Honest about what?
Him: now as it stands, the moment if arrived to your country, i will fly immediately so we can sale it and make some investment with the money there for us to continue our life
i have had a bad relationship before were the woman messed me up
this time around, i have to be sure that i never go the same again
the moment w4e accept to work together now, i will send the gold as consignment which will be delivered to your address
all the i needed is your full name, address and phone number to process if with the delivery company
Him: I'm attracted to good women who are well-groomed, in good shape, relatively intelligent and mature, with a sense of humor and a good heart. Someone who chooses to experience life rather than rush through it
Me: Do you have good teeth? What is your blood type?
Him: i have a good teeth, but i do not understand what you mean by my blood type
Me: (link to explain blood type)
Me: You may need to contact your doctor to ask.
Him: ok, now i understand you
am O' positive ok
ganitype AA
and you my love
are you there
can i see your picture
Me: Would you be willing to send me a dna sample? Better yet, could you have your dna analyzed and send me the analysis data? It's only about $100 for the analysis.
Him: i really want to know who i am dealing with so we can move on
Me: My thoughts exactly.
Him: i have over 50 Kg of gold that i will be sending along though courier service
Me. Excellent, thanks.
Him: but before i comence with tyhat, i need asurance that you will be honest with me
Me: Honest about what?
Him: now as it stands, the moment if arrived to your country, i will fly immediately so we can sale it and make some investment with the money there for us to continue our life
i have had a bad relationship before were the woman messed me up
this time around, i have to be sure that i never go the same again
the moment w4e accept to work together now, i will send the gold as consignment which will be delivered to your address
all the i needed is your full name, address and phone number to process if with the delivery company
hmmm Whose address do I want to give him?
More ongoing conversation:
Him: a track number of the consignment will be giving to you after it for tracking and monitoring the movement of it till it gets to you
Me: Look, I'm happy to do your money laundering, but I don't work free. Send the DNA sample to an address that I will provide to you in two hours, in a message from a facebook account called NOTLawEnforcement. Then we'll talk about what to do with your gold.
More ongoing conversation:
Him: a track number of the consignment will be giving to you after it for tracking and monitoring the movement of it till it gets to you
Me: Look, I'm happy to do your money laundering, but I don't work free. Send the DNA sample to an address that I will provide to you in two hours, in a message from a facebook account called NOTLawEnforcement. Then we'll talk about what to do with your gold.
thebeave
Contributor
This moron is not giving up.
Him: what do you mean by my money laundering
so sale of gold now is a money laundering?
Me: Whatever. Money laundering, money moving, fraudulent attempts to get other people's personal information...
Him: pls, let be serious ok
if you want us to make it, just let me know
i am here to get love and who i will trust in order to get this very thing done so we can invest together
Me: send me a recording of your voice reading your last three comments, please.
(For those of you who don't use facebook, there's a feature in the chat thing that records your voice and whoever you're chatting with can play it.)
Him: what do you mean by my money laundering
so sale of gold now is a money laundering?
Me: Whatever. Money laundering, money moving, fraudulent attempts to get other people's personal information...
Him: pls, let be serious ok
if you want us to make it, just let me know
i am here to get love and who i will trust in order to get this very thing done so we can invest together
Me: send me a recording of your voice reading your last three comments, please.
(For those of you who don't use facebook, there's a feature in the chat thing that records your voice and whoever you're chatting with can play it.)
Keith&Co.
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Excellent! I was joking about giving him anyone's address for real, but that is a great address to send 50 kg of gold to.
And it looks like it's about to wrap up:
Him: i am telling you that i my pc has no mic to do that now
that is all, if can not get me a number, there's no way i can get it done
Me: Well, if you can't supply the DNA, you won't get my number.
If you still want to send me that gold, feel free:
1100 H Street NW, Suite 300
Washington, DC 20005
James Brown
Veteran Member
I stole this from another board...
The subject was "Trivial Things that Bug Me."
Being given an impossible task by a manager who knows ahead of time you'll just be shoveling poop against the tide.
This was back when I was moving furniture.
"Jerry, we got a new employee. He's the brother of the executive secretary so we'd like you to try and keep the younger workers from making fun of his name."
Out of the blue one bright spring morning.
"You know I have to work with furniture movers, right?"
Was my first reply. Before I even heard the name. The boss's secretary was from Indonesia so my head spun with possibilities.
"Okay, what is it?"
I winced a bit but since all the older movers like myself enforce a "No Vulgarities in the Shipper's House" rule on the younger movers as a matter of course. This wasn't going to be as hard as some of you might think. "Watch your mouth! This isn't a bar!" Isn't an uncommon phrase in moving.
"Okay, what's his last name?"
"You know I have to work with furniture movers, right?"
The subject was "Trivial Things that Bug Me."
Being given an impossible task by a manager who knows ahead of time you'll just be shoveling poop against the tide.
This was back when I was moving furniture.
"Jerry, we got a new employee. He's the brother of the executive secretary so we'd like you to try and keep the younger workers from making fun of his name."
Out of the blue one bright spring morning.
"You know I have to work with furniture movers, right?"
Was my first reply. Before I even heard the name. The boss's secretary was from Indonesia so my head spun with possibilities.
"Okay, what is it?"
I winced a bit but since all the older movers like myself enforce a "No Vulgarities in the Shipper's House" rule on the younger movers as a matter of course. This wasn't going to be as hard as some of you might think. "Watch your mouth! This isn't a bar!" Isn't an uncommon phrase in moving.
"Okay, what's his last name?"
"You know I have to work with furniture movers, right?"
bilby
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Eeyore, Eeyore, Eeyore ways calls me that...
Excellent! I was joking about giving him anyone's address for real, but that is a great address to send 50 kg of gold to.
And it looks like it's about to wrap up:
Him: i am telling you that i my pc has no mic to do that now
that is all, if can not get me a number, there's no way i can get it done
Me: Well, if you can't supply the DNA, you won't get my number.
If you still want to send me that gold, feel free:
1100 H Street NW, Suite 300
Washington, DC 20005
He sent me this photo, which turns out upon google image search to be associated with romance scams on facebook. (Wow, you don't say.) I sent him the link showing the image in an article about romance scammers, and he still argued so I called him a stupid scammer and blocked him. Romance these days.
Keith&Co.
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So, the conversation in the home worked its way around to the trials and tribulations of industrial attempts to make toilet paper available.
My wife mentioned that the school district for which she works always buys a shitty standard of toilet paper.
I laugh.
She gets mad. "PUN NOT INTENDED!"
"Okay, sure, I believe you."
And there are problems with the dispensers they bought, so if the janitor puts the toilet paper roll in backwards, the paper piles up in the back rather than comes out where you can use it.
"It can be a real pain in the ass," she says.
I laugh. She gets angry. WHich only makes me laugh more.
She stalked out of the bedroom to get a roll of toilet paper to throw at me. But it turns out we're out of toilet paper.
And she was the one to make the shopping list for the week.
I laugh so hard i nearly pass out.
So she picks up a shoe and pantomimes throwing it at me. I choke out, "Good! Good! Now, call me an asshole!"
She let fly. Right on the kisser.
I want to say 'totally worth it' but i'm laughing too hard and my lips are swollen.
But i LIKE sleeping on the couch. And it was totally worth it.
My wife mentioned that the school district for which she works always buys a shitty standard of toilet paper.
I laugh.
She gets mad. "PUN NOT INTENDED!"
"Okay, sure, I believe you."
And there are problems with the dispensers they bought, so if the janitor puts the toilet paper roll in backwards, the paper piles up in the back rather than comes out where you can use it.
"It can be a real pain in the ass," she says.
I laugh. She gets angry. WHich only makes me laugh more.
She stalked out of the bedroom to get a roll of toilet paper to throw at me. But it turns out we're out of toilet paper.
And she was the one to make the shopping list for the week.
I laugh so hard i nearly pass out.
So she picks up a shoe and pantomimes throwing it at me. I choke out, "Good! Good! Now, call me an asshole!"
She let fly. Right on the kisser.
I want to say 'totally worth it' but i'm laughing too hard and my lips are swollen.
But i LIKE sleeping on the couch. And it was totally worth it.
paladin.oa
Junior Member
Totally worth it! Also utterly hilarious!!
Keith&Co.
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I just left the store and a couple was walking in. I thought maybe i knew the girl, but couldn't place her at all. She noticed me looking and got really upset.
Stomped over to me and asked why i was staring.
"I'm sorry, i thought maybe you were someone i know."
"Or maybe you just have a problem with interracial couples!" she challenged. I had kind of noticed the guy, but hadn't paid a lot of attention to him. He didn't look familiar. NO biggie.
Now that was funny. I laughed. Well, you can't laugh at that sort of remark without explaining. "If i did, then Mrs. &co. would kick my ass."
WHich is true. But before i could explain any further, the guy looks stricken.
"You're Mr. &co.?" He pronounced it correctly, which tells me that he, at least, has attended the high school my wife teaches in, if not had her in class.
He grabs his girlfriend by the elbow and drags her into the store. "We gotta go."
MY thought was that he realized that GF was going to lose this argument and backed out to save her from embarrassment.
My wife feels that she's managed to terrify a generation of English students...
Right now, the only time she stops laughing is to practice her evil cackle.
Stomped over to me and asked why i was staring.
"I'm sorry, i thought maybe you were someone i know."
"Or maybe you just have a problem with interracial couples!" she challenged. I had kind of noticed the guy, but hadn't paid a lot of attention to him. He didn't look familiar. NO biggie.
Now that was funny. I laughed. Well, you can't laugh at that sort of remark without explaining. "If i did, then Mrs. &co. would kick my ass."
WHich is true. But before i could explain any further, the guy looks stricken.
"You're Mr. &co.?" He pronounced it correctly, which tells me that he, at least, has attended the high school my wife teaches in, if not had her in class.
He grabs his girlfriend by the elbow and drags her into the store. "We gotta go."
MY thought was that he realized that GF was going to lose this argument and backed out to save her from embarrassment.
My wife feels that she's managed to terrify a generation of English students...
Right now, the only time she stops laughing is to practice her evil cackle.
paladin.oa
Junior Member
Please tell me she does it Naga the Serpent style.
Keith&Co.
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Wicked Witch of the Western Massachusetts High School...
Keith&Co.
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So, somehow we got on the subject of 'a decorated veteran.'
Nothing wrong with being a decorated veteran. I'm a decorated veteran. People who were still in Boot Camp at the end of Desert Storm were decorated for their service.
I was listing off my ribbons. The National Defense Service Ribbon, Good Conduct Medal, The Meritorious Unit Commendation (which you should know is usually called the MUC (pronounced 'muck')), the Navy Achievement Medal, The Battle Efficiency Ribbon, The Fleet Unit Commendation and the Sea Service Ribbon.
A coworker protested. "There's no such thing as a Fleet Unit Commendation!"
"Really?" I asked. "Because i really remember being FUC'ed in the Navy, quite a few times."
Several people laughed. He thought they were laughing at him, so he looked up an official listing of Navy ribbons and medals to prove there was no FUC.
"Okay, fine," I said. "No one in my command ever gave a FUC. Not really a revelation."
Still went over his head... We actually had to write it on the board.
Nothing wrong with being a decorated veteran. I'm a decorated veteran. People who were still in Boot Camp at the end of Desert Storm were decorated for their service.
I was listing off my ribbons. The National Defense Service Ribbon, Good Conduct Medal, The Meritorious Unit Commendation (which you should know is usually called the MUC (pronounced 'muck')), the Navy Achievement Medal, The Battle Efficiency Ribbon, The Fleet Unit Commendation and the Sea Service Ribbon.
A coworker protested. "There's no such thing as a Fleet Unit Commendation!"
"Really?" I asked. "Because i really remember being FUC'ed in the Navy, quite a few times."
Several people laughed. He thought they were laughing at him, so he looked up an official listing of Navy ribbons and medals to prove there was no FUC.
"Okay, fine," I said. "No one in my command ever gave a FUC. Not really a revelation."
Still went over his head... We actually had to write it on the board.
Elixir
Made in America
Keith&Co.
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HEY!
Decorated war heroes don't lie.