Things that make you laugh...

[paladin.oa]

Clearly being a saint is a prerequisite for working with you.

There are various mechanisms.

Supervisor came out of a start-of-work meeting in Boss' office near the end of the day. She came straight over to my cube, said, "Lay off Bill," kept on walking.

Off topic: So you ease off of anyone who for whatever reason can't take a joke or are a more serious person?

Note: I think that I'm one of those serious people because I would be pissed if someone pranked me like on those old candid camera shows.

 

[Keith&Co.]

Off topic: So you ease off of anyone who for whatever reason can't take a joke or are a more serious person?

No, I ease off of anyone who Christine tells me to ease off. Or my wife. Anyone I'm afraid of can tell me to stand down.

I don't know if she was worried about Bill going off the deep end, or if someone had figured out a way to determine who was pranking him...

Note: I think that I'm one of those serious people because I would be pissed if someone pranked me like on those old candid camera shows.

Well, eventually, everyone's able to laugh about anything. I used to review pranks played on me and estimate the time it would take. Days, weeks, months, transfer to a new command, a year, a decade, three administrations, a geological age, heat death of the universe, my wife has had time to forget something, eruption of the monobloc into a new universe, etc.

 

[Elixir]

Days, weeks, months, transfer to a new command, a year, a decade, three administrations, a geological age, heat death of the universe, eruption of the monobloc into a new universe, etc.

Meh. My wife would still remember...

 

[Keith&Co.]

Days, weeks, months, transfer to a new command, a year, a decade, three administrations, a geological age, heat death of the universe, eruption of the monobloc into a new universe, etc.

Meh. My wife would still remember...

Yeah, THAT one i just threw in there as an unrealistic milestone...

 

[gmbteach]

I am trying to do my physio on my bed, bridges where I bend my bad leg, raise my touchas into the air while keeping the good leg straight and only a few centimetres off the bed. It’s not easy, but I gotta do it.

Anyways, Tiger sleeps at the end of the bed and decided that my foot near her face needs a wash! It’s decidedly difficult to concentrate on my exercises when my pudda licks my foot!

 

[ZiprHead]

I am trying to do my physio on my bed, bridges where I bend my bad leg, raise my touchas into the air while keeping the good leg straight and only a few centimetres off the bed. It’s not easy, but I gotta do it.

Anyways, Tiger sleeps at the end of the bed and decided that my foot near her face needs a wash! It’s decidedly difficult to concentrate on my exercises when my pudda licks my foot!

 

[Keith&Co.]

Coworkers are funny.

I have a light-up peg board from Thinkgeek: http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/klho/?srp=18

I set it up at home with the message, "Fire Is The Cleanser." Everyone thought it was cool when I took it out of the box.

A day later, I found out the supervisor is going to be out of the office for a week. Changed the letters around to spell "No Adult Supervision For Training."

No one had realized that the letters could be changed. They thought it was a completely different sign, asked, "Where'd you get THAT sign?"
"Um.................It arrived last night."
"Oh, great timing."
"Yeah... Lucked out that way..."

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

Just heard on the news that Ingvar Kamprad, founder of IKEA, has died.

My immediate response was "His funeral will be held once the coffin has been assembled".

Does that make me a bad person?

No, what makes you a bad person is that after assembly, while being carried out of the church, the whole thing just falls apart and his body plops on the ground and is covered in broken pieces of IKEA self-assembly casket.

 

[Elixir]

I am trying to do my physio on my bed, bridges where I bend my bad leg, raise my touchas into the air while keeping the good leg straight and only a few centimetres off the bed. It’s not easy, but I gotta do it.

Anyways, Tiger sleeps at the end of the bed and decided that my foot near her face needs a wash! It’s decidedly difficult to concentrate on my exercises when my pudda licks my foot!

Suffering from that Catlick guilt, are you?

 

[gmbteach]

I am trying to do my physio on my bed, bridges where I bend my bad leg, raise my touchas into the air while keeping the good leg straight and only a few centimetres off the bed. It’s not easy, but I gotta do it.

Anyways, Tiger sleeps at the end of the bed and decided that my foot near her face needs a wash! It’s decidedly difficult to concentrate on my exercises when my pudda licks my foot!

Suffering from that Catlick guilt, are you?

Lol.

She is actually lying next to me at the moment while I lie in bed. She’s a good pudda!

 

[Elixir]

I am trying to do my physio on my bed, bridges where I bend my bad leg, raise my touchas into the air while keeping the good leg straight and only a few centimetres off the bed. It’s not easy, but I gotta do it.

Anyways, Tiger sleeps at the end of the bed and decided that my foot near her face needs a wash! It’s decidedly difficult to concentrate on my exercises when my pudda licks my foot!

Suffering from that Catlick guilt, are you?

Lol.

She is actually lying next to me at the moment while I lie in bed. She’s a good pudda!

I can't begin to express the comfort that our cat provides - little butthead that she is. She sleeps on my feet all night, wakes me up by walking up and down my body in the morning, chews on my fingers if that doesn't do the trick, and when I get up she jumps onto my shoulder. That used to be a problem until I got her to understand that I have to put on a sweatshirt before she is allowed to do that...
She's the only cat I ever had who would come when I call her, even if it's outdoors and there are a million distractions. She's 14 now, and not a mark on her, despite the abundance of coyotes, bobcats, raccoons, owls, eagles and other cat-eating beasts in the vicinity. Even with recent development in the area that includes houses where cats live, she somehow avoids trouble. I love that little shit way too much!
Anyhow, I have read (and experienced) that when a cat licks you, it's among their most intimate expressions of love.

 

[gmbteach]

Lol.

She is actually lying next to me at the moment while I lie in bed. She’s a good pudda!

I can't begin to express the comfort that our cat provides - little butthead that she is. She sleeps on my feet all night, wakes me up by walking up and down my body in the morning, and when I get up she jumps onto my shoulder. That used to be a problem until I got her to understand that I have to put on a sweatshirt before she is allowed to do that...
She's the only cat I ever had who would come when I call her, even if it's outdoors and there are a million distractions. She's 14 now, and not a mark on her, despite the abundance of coyotes, bobcats, raccoons, owls, eagles and other cat-eating beasts in the vicinity. Even with recent development in the area that includes houses where cats live, she somehow avoids trouble. I love that little shit way too much!

Tabitha, Tiger’s sister, will come when called! Tiger, in true cat fashion, takes a message, waits till she feels she is being ignored, then complies! They are both indoor cats as I spent way too much money on my other cats who were allowed out. Tabitha tries to get out and sometimes succeeds, but she doesn’t go far. It’s more of a game like ‘nah nah!’

They do provide comfort. They generally don’t wake us up, that’s what the dogs do! And are both usually happy to sleep on their spots, Tiger on the bed, Tabitha in her inexpensive cardboard scratching post!

They are 9 1/2 now, which is good for a Mount Isa Moggy!

 

[Underseer]

https://kotaku.com/final-fantasy-xv-the-kotaku-review-1789400066

In the Kotaku review of Final Fantasy 15, the game genre is listed as "boy band dress-up sim."

That's almost as funny as the time someone summed up the entire franchise as "teenagers discovering the power of friendship to kill god" or something along those lines.

 

[hyzer]

Wife and I have been binge watching The Americans. One episode one Russian character gives his name to another who is going to write it down. After hearing the name, second character says “one R or two?” My wife then says “four....but three of them are backwards”.

I love her.

 

[Keith&Co.]

So, one of my doctors increased one of my meds. Instead of two pills a day, I'm now on three a day.

Wife casually observes "that's a thirty three percent increase."
I casually correct her. When I open my mouth, she says, "I know, I know, thirty three POINT THREE."
"No, fifty."
"Thirty three fifty?"
"No fifty. Fifty percent. He increased my (x) by fifty percent."
"No," she insists, "one more pill out of three. That's a third."
"No," I say slowly, in full pedant, "the increase was one pill out of two. Fifty." Generously, I admit that "if he knocks me back, to two a day, then the DROP will be by thirty three point three, but that's not what happened.
We got to the point of putting three quarters on the table.
"But THIS is what YOU HAD yesterday..."
"Riiiiiight, but really..."





....Funny, I always thought it would be my sense of HUMOR that caused the divorce.

 

[bilby]

So, one of my doctors increased one of my meds. Instead of two pills a day, I'm now on three a day.

Wife casually observes "that's a thirty three percent increase."
I casually correct her. When I open my mouth, she says, "I know, I know, thirty three POINT THREE."
"No, fifty."
"Thirty three fifty?"
"No fifty. Fifty percent. He increased my (x) by fifty percent."
"No," she insists, "one more pill out of three. That's a third."
"No," I say slowly, in full pedant, "the increase was one pill out of two. Fifty." Generously, I admit that "if he knocks me back, to two a day, then the DROP will be by thirty three point three, but that's not what happened.
We got to the point of putting three quarters on the table.
"But THIS is what YOU HAD yesterday..."
"Riiiiiight, but really..."





....Funny, I always thought it would be my sense of HUMOR that caused the divorce.

Reminds me of a conversation with a shop assistant when the 10% GST was introduced here.

I had a 10% off voucher.

The list price was $100+GST.

She wanted to charge me $100.

I wanted to pay $99.

We were there for quite some time.

It's $100, plus 10% GST Equals $110, less 10% is less $11, $110 - $11 = $99

Or, it's $100, less 10% is $90, plus 10% of $90 is plus $9 = $99

But common sense dictates that we must spend FAR more time debating this than is worth $1 to somebody who is rapidly losing the will to live.

 

[Elixir]

So, one of my doctors increased one of my meds. Instead of two pills a day, I'm now on three a day.

Wife casually observes "that's a thirty three percent increase."
I casually correct her. When I open my mouth, she says, "I know, I know, thirty three POINT THREE."
"No, fifty."
"Thirty three fifty?"
"No fifty. Fifty percent. He increased my (x) by fifty percent."
"No," she insists, "one more pill out of three. That's a third."
"No," I say slowly, in full pedant, "the increase was one pill out of two. Fifty." Generously, I admit that "if he knocks me back, to two a day, then the DROP will be by thirty three point three, but that's not what happened.
We got to the point of putting three quarters on the table.
"But THIS is what YOU HAD yesterday..."
"Riiiiiight, but really..."





....Funny, I always thought it would be my sense of HUMOR that caused the divorce.

Such confusion must be epidemic. When we set up products in QuickBooks, we enter cost and selling price and it shows two figures - margin, and markup. An item that costs $100 and sells for $150 will show up as providing us a 33.3% margin, and says it has a 50% markup. But no matter how graphically this is explained, people come and ask why those are two different percentages.
:headdesk:

 

[Wiploc]

So, one of my doctors increased one of my meds. Instead of two pills a day, I'm now on three a day.

Wife casually observes "that's a thirty three percent increase."
I casually correct her. When I open my mouth, she says, "I know, I know, thirty three POINT THREE."
"No, fifty."
"Thirty three fifty?"
"No fifty. Fifty percent. He increased my (x) by fifty percent."
"No," she insists, "one more pill out of three. That's a third."
"No," I say slowly, in full pedant, "the increase was one pill out of two. Fifty." Generously, I admit that "if he knocks me back, to two a day, then the DROP will be by thirty three point three, but that's not what happened.
We got to the point of putting three quarters on the table.
"But THIS is what YOU HAD yesterday..."
"Riiiiiight, but really..."





....Funny, I always thought it would be my sense of HUMOR that caused the divorce.

I am reminded of your post that ended something like, "It sounds like they're almost done. I'd wait."

 

[Jayjay]

So, one of my doctors increased one of my meds. Instead of two pills a day, I'm now on three a day.

Wife casually observes "that's a thirty three percent increase."
I casually correct her. When I open my mouth, she says, "I know, I know, thirty three POINT THREE."
"No, fifty."
"Thirty three fifty?"
"No fifty. Fifty percent. He increased my (x) by fifty percent."
"No," she insists, "one more pill out of three. That's a third."
"No," I say slowly, in full pedant, "the increase was one pill out of two. Fifty." Generously, I admit that "if he knocks me back, to two a day, then the DROP will be by thirty three point three, but that's not what happened.
We got to the point of putting three quarters on the table.
"But THIS is what YOU HAD yesterday..."
"Riiiiiight, but really..."





....Funny, I always thought it would be my sense of HUMOR that caused the divorce.

Don't think of it as a divorce. Think of it as having 50% less wives.

 

[Keith&Co.]

A teacher at the local high school has a vicious policy about phones.

She has a shoe organizer on the back of her door with power strips. When you come into class, you can put your phone there and recharge it. At the end of class, you take it back, no problems.

If she sees you on the phone during class, she brings out a small llockbox. She locks your phone in the box, keeps the key...
And leaves the lockbox on your desk.
So when your phone starts to vibrate, the box reverberates quite loudly.
And the whole class knows to look and see the look on your face...