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Things that make you laugh...

I’m a single guy. Divorce was finalized last July. I won’t go into many details but she did purger herself on the stand, then confessed to it to the judge (she denied that she spray painted my car, when I had security video). The judge ruled in my favor on all counts and she still owes me over $80K.

About 6 months ago a friend suggested that I get an Alexa (help manage lights, music, etc) so I sourced an Alexa Dot off eBay. When I went to start it, the app reminded me I already had one of these: ‘Dave’s Dot’, which the ex kept. So once I had Dave’s Dot 2 registered the first thing I told it to do was play Evil Woman every morning at 8:00 AM volume 10 on Dave’s Dot (1).
 
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One of our team leaders at work got busted by the depot manager yesterday, polishing her army boots at her desk, using some official paperwork to protect the desk from getting any polish on it.

She is a reserve Military Policewoman, and has been ordered to fly to Sydney today to meet the Queen, who is Colonel in Chief of the Royal Australian Military Police (as Lorraine said, "I don't know why she's in charge, I have never seen her doing any of the training"), so her uniform needs to be 100% parade inspection perfect, at very short notice.

Lorraine is five feet nothing and looks like she would blow away in a strong breeze, but apparently is capable of restraining a drunken squaddie twice her size. You don't mess with Lorraine.
 
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