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Words you do NOT want in your obituary

"I write this, my self-penned obituary, as the last surviving human, in the vain hope that it may be found and understood by some future race which may find and explore this ruined planet, Earth ..."
 
"...Zombie Jack Chick's first victim upon rising..."

"...in the Zombie uprising, trying to organize a Whack-A-Mole tournament at a local cemetery..."
 
C_Mucius_Scaevola said:
ideologyhunter said:
"...the Alabama coroner stated that it was the first known case in his state of asphyxiation by semen..."
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I find it hard to believe that hasn't happened before in Alabama.
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Yeah, But up to now, they've been writing in 'misadventure' as the cause, to protect the family in cases of suicide, Zamboni collisions and asphyxiation by unseemly substances...
 
Elixir said:
gmbteach said:
....after he said 'Meat Free Dinners'.......
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"... told them he thought Haggis was a plant ..."
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HAHAHAHA.. My friend actually told her son that there was a Sausage Tree and that that was where you pick sausages from because he wouldn't eat meat growing up so she disguised it as a vegetable. :D
 
gmbteach said:
Elixir said:
"... told them he thought Haggis was a plant ..."
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HAHAHAHA.. My friend actually told her son that there was a Sausage Tree and that that was where you pick sausages from because he wouldn't eat meat growing up so she disguised it as a vegetable. :D
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My dad claimed there were sausage bushes when we were camping and breakfast had leaves and stems on the plate. I later realized he'd just dropped the sausages on the ground.
 
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