Words you do NOT want in your obituary

[C_Mucius_Scaevola]

On the "words I do want in my obituary" sidetrack ...
"Police are unsure which of the seven jealous husbands to charge with the 101-year-old's in flagrante delicto shooting ..."


And back with the original "words I do not want in my obituary" concept ...
"faced with his own mortality, he turned in his last days to God for comfort ..."

 

[hurtinbuckaroo]

"... while dancing to 'Stayin' Alive', dressed in an all-white leisure suit ..."

 

[C_Mucius_Scaevola]

"... while dancing to 'Stayin' Alive', dressed in an all-white leisure suit ..."

Is that "do want" or "don't want"?

 

[ZiprHead]

"... while dancing to 'Stayin' Alive', dressed in an all-white leisure suit ..."

"... then the disco ball fell from the ceiling..."

 

[bigfield]

'...chutney'

 

[Cheerful Charlie]

Police are searching for the alligator.

 

[spikepipsqueak]

" ... by the thumbs."

 

[Sajara]

"All was going well until his Supreme Commander and Messiah the Donald pushed the button with his tiny little orange hands..."

 

[Thomas II]

Police are searching for the alligator.

Alligator found...only hand remains...

 

[iolo]

'As he grew older and more prosperous, he changed his views'.

 

[OLDMAN]

was responsible for the death of millions...

 

[4321lynx]

Police are searching for the alligator.

Alligator found...only hand remains...

Hand belongs to the Donald, I hope...

 

[Elixir]

Alligator found...only hand remains...

Hand belongs to the Donald, I hope...

Nope. Too large.

 

[4321lynx]

Hand belongs to the Donald, I hope...

Nope. Too large.

 

[gmbteach]

Hand belongs to the Donald, I hope...

Nope. Too large.

and it's not grabbing a pussy...

 

[SLD]

Efforts to revive the poor gerbil also failed.

 

[blastula]

"wood chopper"

 

[ZiprHead]

"...while campaigning for Donald Trump."

 

[C_Mucius_Scaevola]

"... autopsy revealed a shockingly tiny penis ..."

 

[Keith&Co.]

"... autopsy revealed a shockingly tiny penis ..."

Pffft.
It's COLD in those morgues...