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Words you do NOT want in your obituary

....No shrapnel in back...no bullet scars ...no knife wounds ...embarrassed family realise war stories just bloody lies!...
 
...ignoring all medical advice...

...after a fight with his pharmacist...

...cries for help were ignored by the alienated nursing staff...

...made the pathologist faint...

...caused an evacuation of the Emergency Room...
 
... Assets left to cats... ex wife hopes to change his mind ... deceased registered in cryogenics ....





(Oh dear ,I will have to pray for you Kieth )
 
(Oh dear ,I will have to pray for you Kieth )
By my wife's account, I was very polite to the lady chaplain who came to my room and threatened to cast magic spells on me. My only explanation is that i was between surgeries at that moment and stoned to the gills.
 
"The deceased had to be removed surgically from the elephants anus. The elephant did not survive the procedure."
 
".. habanero enema ..."

"... counterfeit Kevlar vest ..."

"... asked his wife if she could 'hurry things up a bit and push the baby out before game time' ..."
 
"...shipping the remains being complicated by _____."
* the virus
* radioactive elements
* international tensions
* fundamentalist claims to the site
* claims staked by both of his wives
 
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