• Welcome to the new Internet Infidels Discussion Board, formerly Talk Freethought.

Things that make you laugh...

What do you find funny about this?
 
Mindlab Expositor said:
What do you find funny about this?
Click to expand...
Well, if someone asked me about SOAP, i think detergent, soap operas, the TV show SOAP, jokes about soap in prison showers.... LOTS of things would come to mind before single object access protocols.
So i'd expect someone searching for that would have to spend quite some time crafting and updating the search term before Google returned something useful.

But to get it on the first try.... Something that obscure floating up to the top of the search? That's funny.
And for it to be exactly what he wanted? That's Twilight Zone humor.

Because imagine the kid trying to do home work on why soap removes dirt giving his fifth grade report, trying to connect single object protocols to why we wash our hands before dinner...
 
Keith&Co. said:
Mindlab Expositor said:
What do you find funny about this?
Click to expand...
Well, if someone asked me about SOAP, i think detergent, soap operas, the TV show SOAP, jokes about soap in prison showers.... LOTS of things would come to mind before single object access protocols.
So i'd expect someone searching for that would have to spend quite some time crafting and updating the search term before Google returned something useful.

But to get it on the first try.... Something that obscure floating up to the top of the search? That's funny.
And for it to be exactly what he wanted? That's Twilight Zone humor.

Because imagine the kid trying to do home work on why soap removes dirt giving his fifth grade report, trying to connect single object protocols to why we wash our hands before dinner...
Click to expand...

Now that's funny
 
Lumpenproletariat's efforts in the religious forum reminded me of the reliability of testimony.

You know that recurring theme where parents tell the kids, just be honest with me, i can tell when you're lying? They try to bribe honesty by swearing, 'your punishment wouldn't be as bad if you didn't try to lie to me.'

My sister and i heard that a lot. The main problem was if something went wrong, we saw no reason for us to BOTH be held at fault. It's not like spanking two butts would make the door any less broken off its hinges.... So I'd make sure the story conformed to ME not getting punished. And she'd do the same.

But one day, we were both playing a game of cards. We were cooperating. We were non-violent, we were quiet, we were innocent. And a little glass figure on the mantel jumped up and smashed to pieces on the hearth.

Completely not our fault.

We looked each other in the eye and instantly said, in chorus: "They'll never believe us."

So we cut the cards. Sister lost. She went and said we were playing and throwing paper airplanes around and one knocked the figure and it broke and she was really sorry because it was her airplane that did it.

Mom said, "Okay, these things happen."

And that was it. No punishment. She made us clean up the glass and inspected to be sure there were no shards left, and life went on.

That was WEIRD!

So from then on, i fessed up. Full disclosure. It improved my life immeasurably. The parents were satisfied, the punishments were less severe, communications improved. All because an honest answer would have gotten both our butts beat.












Oh, one note, though. If the 'full disclosure' was that you were in the middle of committing a felony when you accidentally committed a misdemeanor that you felt bad about? the 'just tell us' verbal contract doesn't apply.
 
bigfield said:
Just did a Google search for 'soap' and the first result was this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SOAP

And scary thing is that it is precisely what I was searching for.
Click to expand...

No, the scary thing is that it wasn't until I read the subsequent posts that it occurred to me that there are other meanings for SOAP.

Either I should work less, or shower more, or both.
 
spikepipsqueak said:
bilby said:
No, the scary thing is that it wasn't until I read the subsequent posts that it occurred to me that there are other meanings for SOAP.

Either I should work less, or shower more, or both.
Click to expand...

You are (or were) a Pom, after all.


ducks
Click to expand...

I say! That won't wash.







Literally
 
bilby said:
bigfield said:
Just did a Google search for 'soap' and the first result was this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SOAP

And scary thing is that it is precisely what I was searching for.
Click to expand...

No, the scary thing is that it wasn't until I read the subsequent posts that it occurred to me that there are other meanings for SOAP.

Either I should work less, or shower more, or both.
Click to expand...

Why so surprised? Google learns to make good guesses about what you want.
 
Florida couple arrested for selling golden tickets to heaven
Tito and Amanda Watts were arrested over the weekend for selling “golden tickets to heaven” to hundreds of people. The couple, who sold the tickets on the street for $99.99 per ticket, told buyers the tickets were made from solid gold and each ticket reserved the buyer a spot in heaven — simply present the ticket at the pearly gates and you’re in.
Click to expand...

The problem for the law was not even the "heaven" part, but that the couple claimed the tickets were made of pure gold. They were actually pieces of wood spray painted gold.
 
Another from Quora:

[h=1]Writing: I want to write a novel, but I don't have an appealing story idea, skill as a good writer, much free time, tenacity, much imagination, or observational skill needed to write a good novel. What should I do?[/h]
Click to expand...
 
My dad just called....

There was something chilling about the tone. And we just talked on Easter Sunday.
Why is he calling me today?
Well, he'd been to the doctor. He's got surgery coming up. So instantly i think 'they've decided it's inoperable!'
No, he just got the paperwork for surgery. Among them is his chance to fill out a living will and appoint a caregiver.
I'm okay with being his choice for this.
THen he wanted to explain that if he was in a vegetative state, he wanted to be unplugged. No heroic measures. No prolonged life support.

It took...a while...for him to get this point across, though. I think he didn't want to scare me about his chances, and not to upset me about being the one to decide to terminate him. So finally, he asks, after pussyfooting it up to the point, if i'm okay with taking this responsibility.
"Yeah. Dad we already had this conversation."
"What?"
"Yeah. Six years ago. You said i was your medical proxy, and if you ever slipped into a coma that you were unlikely to come out of, i was to pull the plug."
"And what did you say?"
"I said 'Yes.' And right after that you said, "Well, at LEAST take a moment to THINK ABOUT IT!"
"Oh, well, yeah! I should think so!"
"Nah, i've been waiting to pull your plug since the day you told the babysitter not to let me masturbate in the bathroom."
"Ah..."
"So we're all on the same page, right? If you don't come out of surgery, i'll take care of it."
"Surgery! Hell, now i'm afraid to go to sleep!"
 
Wiploc said:
Another from Quora:

[h=1]Writing: I want to write a novel, but I don't have an appealing story idea, skill as a good writer, much free time, tenacity, much imagination, or observational skill needed to write a good novel. What should I do?[/h]
Click to expand...
Click to expand...

I might suggest joining the writing staff of the TV show "Scandal." Sounds like he'd fit right in.
 
I thought the obvious answer, given the setup, was that he should write a bad novel.
 
I took an IQ test when I was in sixth grade. I did pretty well. My score wasn't even on the chart for sixth graders. To find my score they had to keep turning the pages.

What they finally told me was that the score I got would indicate an IQ of 119 if I was a sophomore in college. The first thing I asked was 'with what major?'
She blinked at me. "Well, one of the questions was to identify a gable. If an English major couldn't figure that out from references to the House Of Seven Gables, that'd make him dumber than a math major who had no idea what a gable was."
"I think they take that into consideration," she said, trying to shut me up.
"Okay, so what's my IQ?"
"119."
"No," I protested. "That's if I had eight more years of education and know what I know, now. I really think i'm going to know more by the time I'm a sophomore."
"The test says 119," she insisted. "So it's 119."
"But there should be some sort of coefficient to adjust for the fact that you had to turn the pages 8 times to find my score." Everything stopped while she looked up coefficient. I couldn't help. I could not spell the word in 6th grade and only knew it from the context of hearing it.
"Look," she finally said, "I'm going to write down 119. Because that's the result. It's an impressive 119, but still only 119." She filled in the form and handed it to m.
"What'd you get?" I asked. She wouldn't answer, but she did flinch nicely when I guessed 120. I'll bet if her score was 130, she'd have spotted me ten points....
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom