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Things that make you laugh...

Ran into an officer I used to sail with.
He's involved with some project with one of the contractos in the building somewhere.

Reminded him of a drill he once ran on our boat. The drill was about a steam leak from the primary loop of the reactor plant.
He MEANT to say that the location of the leak was such that there was no way to close nearby valves and 'isolate' the leak. That would have allowed us to start repairs some time before the entire supply of water in the primary loop had boiled away and leaked out.

Instead of 'the leak is unisolable,' what he said on the Intercom was 'The leak is unsoluble." The steam leak won't dissolved in water...

I wouldn't even have remembered this, much less repeated it to him, except when I asked what he was doing here, "We're looking for solutions."
"Aheh. just not steam-leak solutions."
"What?"
"Oh, that day you said...."
 
my son just glanced over my shoulder to see what i was doing

he saw the title of the should bigot businesses have a second chance thread

somehow his mind reported should bigfoot businesses have a second chance
second chance for what he wndered
to maybe become loch mess monster businesses

its taking me forrver to type this as i can only do it one-handed the other hand is keeping him from unplugging computer as try to share story

at least here i wont use his real name
 
Well, that'll come back to haunt me.

But also, today, i made a couple of people's day.

I was waiting to come out of the post office as a man held the door for two ladies to come in. He was about 60 or so, the two women were, rough estimate, my age (50) and about 99 or so. He didn't hold the door for me, but that may have been because he didn't see me.
But they thanked him as they entered, he followed, letting the door shut in my face.
"Sure," i said. "You'll hold the door for the hotties..."

Younger woman laughed, older woman giggled like a schoolgirl.
 
I was just reminded of a matter of biology that very seldom comes into play, and can be endlessly entertaining.

If you talk to someone from straight above them or straight below them, the sound waves hit their ears at the exact same time. The brain has no clues for which direction the voice is coming from. It's not a usual direction, and for the most part if you're at the bottom or top of a ladder, you're going to be expecting the voice from the other person so you don't notice the problem.

On two of my submarines, my watch space had an escape hatch, a little chimney that led down to the mess decks. With the hatch open, if you spoke, the people sitting at one of the tables never knew where the voice was coming from. It was endlessly amusing to ease the hatch open, then say, clearly but not loudly: Hey, pass the salt? Every time, people would grab up the salt, then turn and look, back and forth, trying to figure out who the hell was talking. Then you said, Oh, Never Mind, or 'Thanks anyway.' Some people decided the mess on the Maryland was haunted.


On two previous commands, it worked from the other direction. The space that held the periscope when it was retracted acted as a chimney to channel one's voice up into control when the periscope was raised. So the Officer of the Deck would hear a voice hitting both his ears at once.
if we were in the crew's lounge, all the lights off, we'd open the little access panel and say something like 'someone get me a coffee.'
The voice issued from the spot the OOD was standing so everyone assumed it was him.
HE thought it was someone nearby, so he'd either say 'none for me, thanks' or 'Yeah, some for me, too.'

"So, wait, is that one coffee or two, sir?"
"One for me, one for...um... Where did he go?"
"WHere did who go, sir?"
"Um...."

On the boomers currently out there, this access panel is now padlocked shut. Can't do it any more. Darn.
 
Keith&Co. said:
my son just glanced over my shoulder to see what i was doing

he saw the title of the should bigot businesses have a second chance thread

somehow his mind reported should bigfoot businesses have a second chance
second chance for what he wndered
to maybe become loch mess monster businesses

its taking me forrver to type this as i can only do it one-handed the other hand is keeping him from unplugging computer as try to share story

at least here i wont use his real name
Click to expand...

Does he have a telling nick-name?
 
gmbteach said:
Keith&Co. said:
at least here i wont use his real name
Click to expand...
Does he have a telling nick-name?
Click to expand...
Tallest is about it.
We have Oldest, Youngest and Tallest. Tallest is bigger than his older brother and much bigger than his twin brother.

He even started out biggest. At birth, Oldest was 2 pounds, 2 ounces; Youngest was 2lb 4oz, Behemoth was the hulking brute at 2lb 7oz.
 
Went shopping Sunday. in the produce section, there was a mother with a very young daughter and a slightly fussy baby. Across the island there was a mother with a baby who'd had just about enough of this shit, whatever this shit was. He was crying non-stop no matter what mommy did.
I think this was what was making the other baby fussy in the first place. I've noticed that in groups or crowds, kids pay attention to peers, figuring 'He's got to know something I don't. If he's stressed, I probably should be.'

The little girl listened to the baby for a bit, then turned to her mommy and asked, "Is he being like Daddy?"
Dealing with fussy, that mom absently said, 'yes, dear.'

Girl walked all the way around the potatoes and onions island to tell the mother of crying baby: He needs a beer.
 
Keith&Co. said:
gmbteach said:
Does he have a telling nick-name?
Click to expand...
Tallest is about it.
We have Oldest, Youngest and Tallest. Tallest is bigger than his older brother and much bigger than his twin brother.

He even started out biggest. At birth, Oldest was 2 pounds, 2 ounces; Youngest was 2lb 4oz, Behemoth was the hulking brute at 2lb 7oz.
Click to expand...

WOW! They are tiny bubs. I thought I was small at 4 pound. :eek:
 
My friend Emma has a daughter who has a friend of Indian heritage.

Emma was getting ready to cook one evening while Sharee was visiting. She was scanning the directions on the box for the entree when the girls came out. "Oooh!" Daughter says. "That's Sharee's favorite meal! Can she stay for dinner?"

"If she wants to," Emma replies. Kind of embarrassed, she held up the entree meal kit and the box for the rice side dish. "Just so long as you realize that it won't be exactly like your mom's cooking."

"No, ma'am," Sharee says. "My mom only uses one box."
 
Underseer said:
Chlamydia outbreak linked to abstinence-only program:
Click to expand...
We used to consider it a sign of living in a small town by the fact that if you used a swear word, your mom knew about it before you got home.


Sounds like around there, if you buy a condom, your mom'll know about it before you can pick up your date.
 
Whenever I'm really disgustingly full, it always reminds me of the Asian comedian who was really fat and made fun of Asian buffet restaurants. I don't remember his name. In fact, all I remember is him imitating the Asian restaurant owners yelling at him, "You go now! You here four houwaah!"

edit: www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLkTuWdKrqY
 
hylidae said:
Whenever I'm really disgustingly full, it always reminds me of the Asian comedian who was really fat and made fun of Asian buffet restaurants. I don't remember his name. In fact, all I remember is him imitating the Asian restaurant owners yelling at him, "You go now! You here four houwaah!"

edit: www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLkTuWdKrqY
Click to expand...

I don't think he's Asian, but I found it hilarious that he could build humor around having distinct Japanese accents and distinct Chinese accents in his acts, and the audience actually got the difference.
 
We've got cubicles with five-foot tall partitions. Nice and private, though you can have conversations with the next cube or the second one along.

Lots of room for whiteboards, bulletin boards, xkcd and Dilbert strips...

They've begun to purchase new cubicles, though. About six to eight inches taller than the desk. They laud this as the way industry is going. We're going to feel more like part of a team since we can see everyone in the unit with one panoramic glance. More open, easier conversations, and you can get someone's attention with eye contact.

One office has had them installed and been operating for a week.
The company issued a 22-point guide about how they need to behave in these little cages.

There is no sound dampening from the cubicle walls, so you have to be aware of your neighbor when talking, talking on the phone, playing music, or trying to get someone's attention from six cubes away.

The line of sight is wall to wall. So your desktop wallpaper can't be distracting. Nor can you have anything on your desk that sticks up to block line of sight.

Shut up.

There really isn't room for private whiteboards, but they have these big boards on wheels that you can move to your cube if you need them. And four rules about whiteboards. Do not put 'do not erase' on the whiteboard, it's not just yours. Don't hog the whiteboard. And don't use the whiteboard just to block the supervisor's line of sight to see what you're doing.

Keep quiet. No one wants to hear you check your voice mail on speaker

It's REALLY important that you don't get lots of personal calls, now, because no one wants to hear you resolve sibling conflict over the phone. Have kids and spouses call your cell. That's an interesting rule since we have classified information and EMI sensitive equipment in the building and they don't want anyone bringing unauthorized phones with cameras into the office, but almost no one has or wants a cell without a camera, so what private phone are my kids supposed to call me on?

There's no place on your desk to put family pics, but they really don't think that authorizes cubes by the wall to use the wall as a personal memorial wall.

There isn't room for cardboard cutout stands of movie or tv characters, even if someone added a sign to Spock showing which direction leads to the Balanced Rock conference room that no one can find without either interrupting someone's work or reading the Spock sign.

No toys. Especially no Frisbees. Not even the cloth Frisbee-things that the company made with the company logo and handed out at the company picnic and wouldn't hurt a fly, except maybe if you startle the manager and he pours coffee onto his... Thigh. We'll say he burned his thigh, okay?

And keep it down, people are trying to work. Like the guy trying to add another 17 rules to this list so we can all work together without bothering each other too much.
 
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