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Things that make you laugh...

Some of the other parents in my office are discussing Santa Claus. Whether or not their kids are old enough to handle the truth.

My sister figured it out at an early age. She determined that asking certain people for certain gifts got much better results than writing letters to the smelly guy from the department store.

thing is, my sister is two years younger than I am. My parents assumed that if SHE deciphered the myth, Keith MUST have already.

So my Mom took me aside to say, "We think your sister has figured out that there is no Santa Claus."

"Wait, WHAT?!?!" I shriek.

"Oh, um.... Well...."
 
Keith&Co. said:
Was part of a TWO HOUR discussion in documentation about whether the procedure should say 'turn the dial counterclockwise' or 'turn the dial anticlockwise.'

Finally, the counterclockwise faction rose to power. Print it, save it, submit for testing.

Ten minutes into the procedure walk-through in the lab, we find out the dial goes clockwise....
Laughed until I almost threw up.
Click to expand...

You mean it goes anticounterclockwise? Both sides win.
 
Jayjay said:
Keith&Co. said:
Was part of a TWO HOUR discussion in documentation about whether the procedure should say 'turn the dial counterclockwise' or 'turn the dial anticlockwise.'

Finally, the counterclockwise faction rose to power. Print it, save it, submit for testing.

Ten minutes into the procedure walk-through in the lab, we find out the dial goes clockwise....
Laughed until I almost threw up.
Click to expand...

You mean it goes anticounterclockwise? Both sides win.
Click to expand...
I'll, uh... I'll save that one for when I have 4 hours to kill and haven't got an appointment to get a needle stuck in my eye...
 
Keith&Co. said:
Was part of a TWO HOUR discussion in documentation about whether the procedure should say 'turn the dial counterclockwise' or 'turn the dial anticlockwise.'

Finally, the counterclockwise faction rose to power. Print it, save it, submit for testing.

Ten minutes into the procedure walk-through in the lab, we find out the dial goes clockwise....
Laughed until I almost threw up.
Click to expand...

Ha!

It's definitely anti-clockwise, btw.

- - - Updated - - -

Jayjay said:
Keith&Co. said:
Was part of a TWO HOUR discussion in documentation about whether the procedure should say 'turn the dial counterclockwise' or 'turn the dial anticlockwise.'

Finally, the counterclockwise faction rose to power. Print it, save it, submit for testing.

Ten minutes into the procedure walk-through in the lab, we find out the dial goes clockwise....
Laughed until I almost threw up.
Click to expand...

You mean it goes anticounterclockwise? Both sides win.
Click to expand...

That's genius.
 
Boss: I can't make the Acronym Meeting, you'll have to cover for me.
Random employee in Boss' unit... let's call him, um, K.: I've never been to one of those meetings, I don't even know what the acronym stands for.
Boss: You'll be fine, just study the presentation and be prepared to speak to it.
K: Okay. Are they going to ask questions?
Boss: Yeah, they might ask questions like, 'what happens if we don't have the final version of the documentation by 2020?' That sort of thing.
K: Alright. Um, what does happen if we don't have the doc by 2020?
Boss: Oh, don't worry about that, they won't ask that.
 
Keith&Co. said:
Boss: I can't make the Acronym Meeting, you'll have to cover for me.
Random employee in Boss' unit... let's call him, um, K.: I've never been to one of those meetings, I don't even know what the acronym stands for.
Boss: You'll be fine, just study the presentation and be prepared to speak to it.
K: Okay. Are they going to ask questions?
Boss: Yeah, they might ask questions like, 'what happens if we don't have the final version of the documentation by 2020?' That sort of thing.
K: Alright. Um, what does happen if we don't have the doc by 2020?
Boss: Oh, don't worry about that, they won't ask that.
Click to expand...

Well, that went anticounterclockwise.
 
yes, it did.
And, yes, they asked that exact question.

K: I'll have to get back to you on that.

Because K is no longer allowed to fake seizures in formal meetings...
 
Keith&Co. said:
Boss: I can't make the Acronym Meeting, you'll have to cover for me.
Random employee in Boss' unit... let's call him, um, K.: I've never been to one of those meetings, I don't even know what the acronym stands for.
Boss: You'll be fine, just study the presentation and be prepared to speak to it.
K: Okay. Are they going to ask questions?
Boss: Yeah, they might ask questions like, 'what happens if we don't have the final version of the documentation by 2020?' That sort of thing.
K: Alright. Um, what does happen if we don't have the doc by 2020?
Boss: Oh, don't worry about that, they won't ask that.
Click to expand...

Acronyms are such a PITA.
 
A post from my fiber arts group along with a photo of a cockroach floating in the reservoir of a steam iron:

"Would you look at this interfering little bastard! That's one iron I'll be replacing tomorrow. There no way to get it out and every time the water shifts that damn thing looks alive and takes years off my life. Not to mention there's no way I'm spraying steaming hot roach water onto my work. Thank fuck I'm a miserly cheapskate and buy the low end Rival irons. Not a big loss. I hope you enjoy your gentrified condo, you trespassing prick."


bilby said:
Acronyms are such a PITA.
Click to expand...

ISWYDT ;)
 
Apparently, K did not embarrass anyone at the Acronym meeting.
Today, K's boss decided 'I'm going to start sending you to the Daily Briefing."
Without much thought, K asked, "Okay, is that today or what?"
 
Oh, my.

President Trump is tweeting about President Xi.
A coworker thinks that "Xi" is a gender non-specific pronoun and going off about how the Transgender Lobby has gotten to Trump... The temptation to let this fester is just about equal to the driving need to correct someone's horrible mistake...

Decisions, decisions, decisions...
 
Keith&Co. said:
Apparently, K did not embarrass anyone at the Acronym meeting.
Today, K's boss decided 'I'm going to start sending you to the Daily Briefing."
Without much thought, K asked, "Okay, is that today or what?"
Click to expand...

It's actually a reasonable question--said briefing could have already passed and he's talking about starting tomorrow.
 
Keith&Co. said:
Oh, my.

President Trump is tweeting about President Xi.
A coworker thinks that "Xi" is a gender non-specific pronoun and going off about how the Transgender Lobby has gotten to Trump... The temptation to let this fester is just about equal to the driving need to correct someone's horrible mistake...

Decisions, decisions, decisions...
Click to expand...

How about exploding your coworker's head: Spoken Chinese always uses gender non-specific pronouns. (Written Chinese does have some gendered pronouns.) AFIAK the only gendered words in spoken Chinese are family relationship words. All other words do not have gender--you can't refer to a waitress, the only term is waitperson. If you want to refer to the female variety you would refer to a female waitperson--it's an added word, not a modification of the word.

(And this is why people whose mother tongue is Chinese tend to be so atrocious with the use of gender words--they didn't grow up using them.)
 
What made me laugh... last night a talking head referring to Tuesday's election as a "canary in a coal mine".
The respondent replied "the canary didn't just pass out - its head exploded!"

(I didn't know mine gas could do that, but it's a great visual!)
 
Elixir said:
What made me laugh... last night a talking head referring to Tuesday's election as a "canary in a coal mine".
The respondent replied "the canary didn't just pass out - its head exploded!"

(I didn't know mine gas could do that, but it's a great visual!)
Click to expand...

Firedamp* is mostly a mixture of methane and air, and can make anything explode. The canary is likely to take out quite a large area as collateral damage in that scenario though.













*The suffix comes from the German "dampf" meaning 'vapor', rather than from the English 'damp' meaning 'wet'. Mine rescue workers also speak of 'afterdamp', which is the mostly Carbon Monoxide gas that remains in the mine after a firedamp explosion, and which can be lethal to survivors or those trying to rescue them. Coal mining is a bloody dangerous business.
 
Keith&Co. said:
Oh, my.

President Trump is tweeting about President Xi.
A coworker thinks that "Xi" is a gender non-specific pronoun and going off about how the Transgender Lobby has gotten to Trump... The temptation to let this fester is just about equal to the driving need to correct someone's horrible mistake...

Decisions, decisions, decisions...
Click to expand...

I'm sure you're up to the task. :hysterical:
 
bilby said:
Elixir said:
What made me laugh... last night a talking head referring to Tuesday's election as a "canary in a coal mine".
The respondent replied "the canary didn't just pass out - its head exploded!"

(I didn't know mine gas could do that, but it's a great visual!)
Click to expand...

Firedamp* is mostly a mixture of methane and air, and can make anything explode. The canary is likely to take out quite a large area as collateral damage in that scenario though.













*The suffix comes from the German "dampf" meaning 'vapor', rather than from the English 'damp' meaning 'wet'. Mine rescue workers also speak of 'afterdamp', which is the mostly Carbon Monoxide gas that remains in the mine after a firedamp explosion, and which can be lethal to survivors or those trying to rescue them. Coal mining is a bloody dangerous business.
Click to expand...

"There were feathers! Feathers everywhere, man!"
 
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