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Joke gallery

A teacher from a suburban school calls a woman to tell her about her son. " Mrs Smith, I have to tell you that your son is a liar."

Mrs Smith replies: " Well, he's a better liar than what you think he is, because I don't have a son!"
 
Melania at a state dinner turns to the Chinese ambassador and says "How often do you have elections in China, Mr Ambassador?"
He smiles and says "Evely molning."
 
Two men meet. Nice to see you're free again. How was the concentration camp?
Great! Breakfast in bed, a choice of coffee or chocolate, and lunch. And we played games in the afternoon before getting coffee and cakes. Then a little snooze and we watched movies after dinner.
The man was astonished: That's great! I recently spoke to Meyer, who also was locked up there. He told me a different story.
The other man nods gravely and says: "Yes, well that's why they've picked him up again."

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Hitler and Goering are standing on top of Berlin's radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to cheer up the people of Berlin. Why do not you just jump ??? suggests Goering.

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My father is in the SA, my oldest brother in SS, my little brother in the Hitler Youth, my mother is part of the NS women's organization, and I'm in the BDM (Nazi girls group).
Do you ever get to see each other? asks the girl's friend
Oh yes, we meet every year at the rally party in Nuremberg!

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The German Army HQ receives news that Mussolini's Italy has joined the war.
We'll have to put up 10 divisions to counter him! ays one general.
No, he's on our side. says another.
"Oh, in that case we'll need 20 divisions."

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These are all Nazi era jokes told in Germany

Here's my favourite told near the end of the Third Reich

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"What will you do when the summer becomes hot?"
"I'll finally go on a holiday and will take a trip round Greater Germany!"
"And what do you do in the afternoon"
 
When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple of days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling." So the magistrate kept listening; "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."
 
No wonder they lost the war.

Come to think of it. I've never heard of any famous comedians from Germany even today.

Attempt to a serious answer.

European countries tend to have comedic sensibilities that are dark as fuck. Europeans also read books. European comedians therefore tend to be very cerebral by comparisson. Which arguably doesn't add to the fun.

Compare the American and British series "The Office". The American one is bland oatmeal that won't offend anyone. The British one is a life lesson delivered with a baseball bat to your stomach. American humour will most likely never touch anyone in any profound way, while European humour might.

But there's cultural reasons, and huge variety across Europe. Germans don't seem to have heard of the concept of irony. I'm not even being ironical now. True story. "I dropped zee baby into the meat grinder... ha ha ha ha". Non-Germans are constantly guessing if Germans are being sarcastic. But they never are. That has an effect on receiving comedic timing. We often just get confused by German humour. At least I do. So few European comedians work outside their home country.

French humour is often just vile verbal attacks on people. Because French people don't take jokes so seriously it's not a problem inside France. But doesn't translate well outside France. An example is Charly Hebdo. Very typical French humour.
 
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No wonder they lost the war.

Come to think of it. I've never heard of any famous comedians from Germany even today.

Attempt to a serious answer.

European countries tend to have comedic sensibilities that are dark as fuck. Europeans also read books. European comedians therefore tend to be very cerebral by comparisson. Which arguably doesn't add to the fun.

Compare the American and British series "The Office". The American one is bland oatmeal that won't offend anyone. The British one is a life lesson delivered with a baseball bat to your stomach. American humour will most likely never touch anyone in any profound way, while European humour might.

But there's cultural reasons, and huge variety across Europe. Germans don't seem to have heard of the concept of irony. I'm not even being ironical now. True story. "I dropped zee baby into the meat grinder... ha ha ha ha". Non-Germans are constantly guessing if Germans are being sarcastic. But they never are. That has an effect on receiving comedic timing. We often just get confused by German humour. At least I do. So few European comedians work outside their home country.

French humour is often just vile verbal attacks on people. Because French people don't take jokes so seriously it's not a problem inside France. But doesn't translate well outside France. An example is Charly Hebdo. Very typical French humour.

Over the many decades there's been some truly funny comedians to come out of Italy. Some great comedy movies that in many ways were in the same league as Abbott and Costello, The Three Stooges, Jerry Lewis and far to many others to name.
 
French humour is often just vile verbal attacks on people.

I have to disagree. French humour has a wide range, from the very broad to the very subtle, and includes some very sharp satire. If you understand French, check out the likes of Fernandel, Bourvil, Coluche, les Nuls, les Guignols. Or the cartoonists in Fluide Glacial. And of course, you don't have to understand a word of French to check out Jaques Tati, the French Chaplin (only better).
 
No wonder they lost the war.

Come to think of it. I've never heard of any famous comedians from Germany even today.
When Germans approached the Monty Python troupe to perform a comedy special in German, they explicitly stated, "We have no sense of humor, but you do. Could you come and humor for us?"

When the Pythons arrived in Germany to prepare for the special, they were taken directly to a concentration camp.

None of the Brits ever figured out precisely WHY they were at a concentration camp, how the Germans thought this was helpful in humoring Germanly...

(When they arrived, the camp had JUST closed the gates. Their host was trying to explain that these comedians needed to get inside so they could humor properly. The gatekeeper apologized, but it was closing time. Graham Chapman suggested, 'Tell them we're Jewish.' The gates instantly swung open...)
 
A boy goes to his dad and asks about the difference between theory and reality. Asking for an example the following conversation occurs:

Dad: Go ask your mother if she would sleep with a complete stranger for $1,000,000.00
Son: The son quickly returns and says "You bet"
Dad: Now go and ask your sister
Son: Comes back even faster and the response is "Totally"
Dad: See, there you have it.
Son: I don't understand.
Dad: Theoretically we're sitting on 2 million bucks, in reality, we're living with a couple of hookers....
 
French humour is often just vile verbal attacks on people.

I have to disagree. French humour has a wide range, from the very broad to the very subtle, and includes some very sharp satire. If you understand French, check out the likes of Fernandel, Bourvil, Coluche, les Nuls, les Guignols. Or the cartoonists in Fluide Glacial. And of course, you don't have to understand a word of French to check out Jaques Tati, the French Chaplin (only better).

I agree. Les Vacances de Monsieur Hulot is far superior to any of Chaplin's comedy (and was the inspiration behind Rowan Atkinson's 2007 film Mr Bean's Holiday).
 
French humour is often just vile verbal attacks on people.

I have to disagree. French humour has a wide range, from the very broad to the very subtle, and includes some very sharp satire. If you understand French, check out the likes of Fernandel, Bourvil, Coluche, les Nuls, les Guignols. Or the cartoonists in Fluide Glacial. And of course, you don't have to understand a word of French to check out Jaques Tati, the French Chaplin (only better).

Louis de Funès comes to mind too...
 
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