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bilby said:
I am getting Spiderman pyjamas for Christmas.


I hope he likes them.
Click to expand...

:rimshot:

You're funnier than a rubber crutch, bilby. Hey, we're both Bill B's. Did anyone ever call you Bilbo when you were a kid? I got that a lot. But I'm short and have blocky feet.

Also: can you explain to me how pig's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes?
 
I went to a restaurant.
It was full; no place to sit...
I took out my mobile,
Placed it to my ear and said loudly- "Bro come fast, she's here with someone else...
Six couples ran away...
 
WAB said:
bilby said:
I am getting Spiderman pyjamas for Christmas.


I hope he likes them.
Click to expand...

:rimshot:

You're funnier than a rubber crutch, bilby. Hey, we're both Bill B's. Did anyone ever call you Bilbo when you were a kid? I got that a lot. But I'm short and have blocky feet.

Also: can you explain to me how pig's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes?
Click to expand...

I got Bilbo a lot.

And no, I can't.

Sheep's bladders are another question - and one best directed to Sir Belvedere.
 
Q: Why are hurricanes normally named after women?
A: When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.
 
When I was a kid and it was true that hurricanes were always named after women the answer was:

"Because they're hurricanes, not himicanes."
 
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.
 
Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face, and told her mother, “Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today at the playground!” Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, “It reminded me of a peanut.” Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally’s mom asked, “Really small, was it?” Sally replied, “No, salty.” Mom fainted.
 
A man walks into a bar. Upon sitting down a busty blond waitress pours him a drink and asks if he would like some food. He looks up at the menu above the bar it says:

Hot dog – $2
Cheeseburger – $5
Hand job – $10
He asks the waitress, “Miss are you the one who gives the hand jobs?” She winks and replies, “why yes I am.” He says, “Well wash your hands very carefully and make a cheeseburger.”
 
In France what do you call a political town meeting?

A riot and burning cars.
 
A little Johnny classic............

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"
 
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