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Movie alphabet

Elixir said:
Jimmy Higgins said:
A-Men

A film about Super heroes who sole power is the ability to donate gargantuan amounts of A type blood and plasma. This was the Red Cross’s first and only attempt at a motion picture.
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Better go see it. When I saw the trailer I thought it was a religious flick.
(I hope this doesn't continue all the way to C)
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Do you know nothing about Keith&Co? ;)
 
B

B-Men

Sequel to The Men Who Stare At Goats. Military effort to weaponize honey-producing insects.

C-Men
History's most famous Cesarean-born figures

D-Men
Musical. De men all go to Boise, while de women go to Ketchum.

E-Men
Marshall Bruce Mathers III, American rapper, accidentally forms an army to do his bidding. Can't remember what his bidding was... Doesn't stop them from doing it.

F-Men.
CBN reporter embedded with troops in a war zone, and his attempts to find a third 'bleep' button replacement.
 
G

G men - Otherwise titled "The FBI story"




As an aside

C-men could be about the efforts of sperm bank to replenish its supply.
 
laughing dog said:
C-men could be about the efforts of sperm bank to replenish its supply.
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...in Norfolk, or San Diego? Great Lakes? Some large Navy port? The C-men try to see men on base to encourage seamen to produce semen for the C_men to distribute. As the victorious director of the clinic flings open the fully-stocked freezer to show her critics (old men on the board), she says, "See, men? The C_men's Seamen semen!"




Thanks, i'll behave, now.
 
H

Shar Wars

A geek's delight. Two full hours detailing an epic years-long battle between hacker groups, each trying to corrupt the other's Unix archives. This shell game saga is unlikely to appeal to the masses, but will surely find a cult following among Linux users. Self extractions will never be the same.
 
J

My Fellow JAM-ericans

Former President Matt Douglas (James Garner), who was the 'cool' one-term president a few years back, taps into a national nostalgia vibe to take office once more.
His main platform: Oldies radio. "People, we all have different tastes in music. We've changed our tastes over time. So while we have our own favorite songs, there's just something about the Oldies station. You hear a song from, I dunno, the year you bought your first car, you don't think, 'Oh. Cowboy punk. I was into stoner music when this came out.' No, you recall the year. You remember the car. You think about the girl you finally got alone in the car. And when she said, "Oh! I love the Ten Gallon Mohawks!' You fucking agreed with her.
"That's how politics should be. Different concerts for different people, and that's okay. Maybe you're a lifelong Republican, maybe you've changed channels a couple of times, maybe you don't trust any producer.
"The government is still YOUR venue. We should be able to get everyone on stage, at least for one song. Let's jam, America."

On the soundtrack (partial listing):
KISS sings Amazing Grace
Def Leppard ... Auld Lang Sine
The Sex Pistols ... Hey, Jude
Ringo Starr ... Walk Like An Egyptian
Pat Boone ... Lola
Beatles ... We're An American Band
Pat Benatar ... My Dingaling
 
K

Tank ---> Tan

A career Army sargeant, nearing retirement, is noted in The Army Times for his hobby of restoring and curating a WWII-vintage tan.
Getting a drink at a local bar, he strikes up a conversation with a local prostitute. They discuss tanning, including her efforts to reduce all tan lines, while he maintains his demarcation to the millimeter.
A local deputy abuses the prostitute, Sarge rushes to her defense, embroiling him in a fight with the corrupt sheriff's department.
 
L

Groundhog Lay

A television reporter (Bill Murray) visits Punxsutawney PA to cover the emergence of the famous weather prognosticating groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil.
Anticipation builds to a fever pitch, but the groundhog fails to appear.
Cameraman in tow, Bill Murray goes in search of the groundhog, only to find him in the clutches of the Mayor who is having furious sex with the rodent.
With cameras rolling, this the moment when Murray's now-famous quote is uttered:

“This is one time where television really fails to capture the true excitement of a large squirrel predicting the weather.”
 
N

Star Warns

Astrophysicist calculates the sun's certain nova to the nearest hour. Tells everyone. Not much panic in the streets as it's 5.34187 million years off...
 
O

Baa! Another Fucking Madea Movie

This film, the 65th Madea film, was an atrocity. Accidentally witnessing a series of high level crimes, Madea is whisked away into a FBI relocation (yes, this is Tyler Perry’s fourth venture into this trope with Madea). Her identity is blown almost immediately and she has to run into a field of sheep.

She trips and her head slams into a rock knocking her unconscious. She is surrounded by sheep when she comes to and, of course, thinks she is a sheep.

Seriously, Tyler Perry needs to be brought up on charges for this garbage. The only redeeming thing about Perry is his ability to generate a dozen movies (write, direct, produce, star, and promote) a year. Which is absurd from a content production standard.

But this is the crap we get, including several pooping scenes because Madea thinks she is a sheep. A bunch of time passes and one day while counting sheep to fall asleep (yeah, tell me about it!), something jogs her memory and she remembers who she is.

She walks into town, is seen by a mobster and is shot dead immediately. She remembered who she really was, she still forgot who she had become.

I had never heard so much applause at a theater in my life since the scene in Star Wars III where Jar Jar is killed... very slowly.
 
P

PU-571

A fictional story about a U-Boat in WWII. Early in the war, the crew of U-571 suffers some damage in action against an Allied convoy. Damage to the ship causes them to lose any means to pump waste water overboard. Showers, sink drains, toilets cannot be used, and the fluids collect on board.
During surface transits, they carry the wastes topside and dump them overboard.
Upon encountering a squadron of American destroyers, though, they have an extended period of submerged operations in attack and evasion.
They take out two destroyers, but are finally forced to the surface by the last one. The crew resignedly assembles on the hull and waits to be taken prisoner. The first boarding party won't get out of the boat, though, as they stink is like a force-field around the craft. Pee-yew!!!

They decide that making the crew return to port on their own ship is punishment enough. They return to the ship. Half the sub crew tries to swim after them, begging to be taken prisoner.
 
Q


Q&A -----> ___&A

Clint Eastwood as a small-town sheriff with a dark history. His code: Shoot first. Shoot second. Shoot anyone still standing. Questions aren't that important. And sole-survivors get to write down whatever answers they want.

Comes to be known in the territory as The Answer Man.
 
R

Iconman - The super hero craze meets Emoji the Movie and provides an underwhelming super hero who’s power was embracing the power of icons... Windows icons. Following a familiar plot line of rich man captured by bad guys, he manages to escape by using Windows icons to obscure a bad guys desktop calendar. After escaping, he makes this a thing to save the day.

Box office numbers were poor which led to the studio cancelling the planned trilogy.
 
S

Tar War

Steampunk meets Road Warrior

In a star system unlike ours, an empire is built by literally building interplanetary roads. Drive to the top of a mountain, take an UP, then haul away to the next station.
A hero is foretold, who rises to challenge the empire's domination, driving his T-16 Chevy Skyracer.
He didn't intend to challenge the empire, but he picked up this old hitch-hiker, who knows where a trucking heiress is being held against her will....
 
T

Oy Story 2

Poorly recieved sequel to Toy Story. Andy's Mom remaries, tying the knot with a college friend who has become a rabbi.
The toys he gets from the new side of the family are a bit of a culture shock. The 'racial tension' schtick is predictable and formulaic, as are Buzz and Woody's efforts to bring all the toys together.
They finally unite against Uncle Phil's gift.
Andy asked for 'Minecraft.' He got a copy of Mein Kampf. They go off on the book. Mom chases Uncle Phil out of the house, swinging a meat cleaver, threatenting to circumsize him. "Mis-heard my ass!" she screams.
 
T

On the Taterfront

Marlon Brando stars as an up and coming potato farmer who is paid by a Potato Mob boss to till his crops under to cause a price increase.
When a fellow farmer is murdered for bringing his crop to market, Brando teams up with the dead man's sister to circumvent the mob and market his spuds as freeze-dried mashers.
 
U

The Buoy Friend
1977 vehicle for Twiggy.
When the leading lady of a low-budget musical revue refuses to perform a (wo)man-overboard stunt, the assistant stage manager is forced to understudy and perform in her place.
She finds the stunt was even less well-planned than the actress suspected. Lost at sea for three days, she survives by grasping a navigational buoy. She talks to it to keep her sanity, telling it her life story, imagining its responses.
Why it talks in a Donald Duck voice is never explained.
She is rescued, her health restored, and the criticscare impressed with the realism of the (wo)man overboard scene. This is mostly because it wasn't acting or special effects, just that moment of dawning realization that you're fucking screwed.
She realizes she'll be chasing the high of those reviews for the rest of her career.
 
V

The Verminator

The Pixar sequel to Ratatouille was a very dark and disturbing motion picture about a competing high quality restaurant that looked to put an end to the Linguini's run as top restaurant by offing the rats, particularly Remy.
 
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