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Movie alphabet

T

Moontaker

An Alien Supervillain lands on the moon, removes all the American flags and replaces them with with his own.
 
U

Muonraker

Having seized the moon, an alien Supervillain proceeds to round up all the elementary particles in the Solar system.
His motives are unclear to earthbound scientists, but are presumed to be sinister in nature.
 
V

Moonraver - Crater-Blanket Bingo

Having seized the moon, an alien Supervillain proceeds to film bad regolith movies in order to control teenagers . . . .
 
W

I Was A Teen-Age CaveMaw

Young man exploring an old uranium mine. Tiny cave-in, rocks scratch is cheek. Realizing he's been "bitten by a radioactive cave," he runs for the surface, only to transform at the cave's opening. He actually melds with, and becomes, the mouth of the cave.
He has become Steven Spelunker, The Cavernous Cave-Maw!!



Thanks, I'll let myself out.
 
Y

Tiny Cup

Kevin Costner is a golfer with a micropenis. He's good but never won a major. Also, he's really terrible at hitting from among the trees after a bad tee shot. Multiple times he's hit a tree and had it bounce back and hit him in the nuts taking him out of the tournament. So, his girlfriend has a special titanium tiny cup made to protect his junk and her future baby maker. On the last hole of the Masters down by 1 stroke he hits into the trees and all looks lost. But as he tries to play back onto the fairway, it hits a tree comes back and hits his titanium tiny cup giving it enough force to reach the green and go in for the eagle and the win.
 
Z

Awaken Zings

Catatonic patients are brought to awareness thru the power of insults. Dr. Malcolm "Maxie" Sayers isn't afraid to hit below the belt to get a rise out of his patients. He addresses their bodies, their families, the poses they've adopted, and describes obscene tattoos the orderlies have given them during their tenure.

Penny Marshall capitalized on Robin Williams' gift of gab in this medical comedy. He spent time getting to know each actor before their scenes together, unerringly locating their 'buttons'. Then Marshall told them the first take was on her budget, but if a giggling actor ruined the take, they had to pay for the second or third or fourth take.
Much like the 'Biggus Dickus' scene in Life of Brian, grown-ass men nearly wetting themselves, pretemding to have no reaction to Williams, wearing a Victorian swimming costume, crouched over their recumbent form, screaming fake Yiddish into their nostrils.
"Dumkopf! Schmezer-dunkkel! Yer muther smuggled Totenmilkennsvinderkoppel to Spaniards, and yer father licked bialys! Ve haf vays of making you Plotz!"
 
A

Firplane!

Lesley Nielsen plays an English country bumpkin who is fascinated with the history of the "Wooden Wonder" de Havilland DH.98 Mosquito, a balsa-framed fighter plane of WWII. He decides to build one for himself, but never gets off the ground because Nielsen tries to make it from the fir trees on his own property.
 
B

Book

Robin Williams as Peter Pan. A copy of Peter And Wendy falls from a shelf, landing open to a page with an illustration of Peter. Seeing the world outside The Book, Peter realizes he's a fictional character. Which means he has even less responsibility for his actions, and the people around him don't really exist, either. Decadence in the forms of molesting, mayhem, murder, Morris dancing, and mermaid fishing ensues.

At the end, a drunk and disheveled Tinkerbell climbs off the page, mutters, 'That'll do, Pete,' and closes the book. She curls up on the cover and starts snoring.
 
Keith&Co. said:
S

Moonrakers

Sequel to Spaceballs. They still ain't found shit.


Odd thought: Moonkrakken. Hugo Drax threatens the world after he calls down the krakken. No one knew it was up there.
Click to expand...

OK, if we are derailing the thread with odd thoughts, here's one - the book Moonraker, by Ian Fleming, features secret agent James Bond (007, licenced to kill), defeating the evil Hugo Drax, who is an industrialist with an interest in rocketry.

These are just about the only things the book has in common with the movie Moonraker, which contains no Nazis (not even ones with bizarre moustaches and beards [yes, these really did feature in the book]), doesn't involve an attempt to nuke London (foiled by Bond, obvs.), and isn't primarily set on the dreary East coast of England.

It's a great book; I have it both in paperback and as an audiobook on CD. It was published in 1955, before even Sputnik, so the rocketry elements are accordingly primitive - the titular Moonraker rocket is an intermediate range ballistic missile, basically a V2 on steroids with a 'Fat Man' style fission bomb as its warhead. No space shuttles here; No highly specific nerve poisons to wipe out humanity; No space stations (or even crewed space flight); No Jaws; No fancy Venetian glassware; No rainforest orchids.
 
bilby said:
No space shuttles here; No highly specific nerve poisons to wipe out humanity; No space stations (or even crewed space flight); No Jaws; No fancy Venetian glassware; No rainforest orchids.
Click to expand...
And the card game from Moonrakerbook (Bond catches a cheat at M's club) became backgammon in Octopussyfilm. "I should spend it very quickly Mr. Bond."
 
G

Hangover Street

Steve Martin as a dentist who inherits a buttload of weird shit when his eccentric uncle dies. At first, it seems like boxes and boxes of worthless Arabian Nights-themed crap. Lamps, costumes, translations, harem girl outfits (all in Uncle Ford's size). One night, sifting through the junk, he finds a bottle of excellent ccognac and downs a few glasses.
He wakes up the next day to find that his street is paved with teeth.

After a few nights and mornings like that, he realizes one of these lamps has an actual genie inside., but he can only find it when he's drunk.

Writing big posters to leave for his drunken self, such as "wish for lots of fucking money!" doesn't help. Now all credit cards are male, and bills are female. Coins are little money tadpoles... Not a good thing to find in your pockets while hungover.

Finally, he realizes the cognac never runs out, and is the source of wishes. He writes his wish on the bottle itself. But his wish to "be intimate with lots of women" gets smeared by a spill. In the morning, he goes to his practice to find that all the chairs are different. Stirrups.

Seems all women on Earth have vagina dentata (meaning: teeth....down there), and he's now a gynocologist/dentist.

(Based on a short story by Isaac Asimov, Every Rose Has Its Thorns)
 
H

Corns

Daniel Radcliffe stars as Iggy, a man falsely accused of raping and murdering his girlfriend. Hiding out with his parents, he drinks heavily, and falls asleep dreaming that he is running from the law. When he awakes, he finds to his horror that the ill-fitting shoes he was wearing in the dream have given him painful corns on his feet in real life. The rest of the movie consists of Iggy's clandestine attempts to find a doctor willing to surgically remove the corns.
 
I

36 Houris

Major Frank McCray [James Garner] wakes up in an Army hospital in occupied Iraq. He has no memory of the last 20 years. He recalls 9-11, he recalls signing up to fight.... then nothing. As he recovers, he notices that he is the only patient in this hospital. Thirty six beautiful, young, bubbly Army women have nothing to do but see to his every need. He begins to suspect things are not what they seem. You'd think either American nurses would speak better English, or there should be 72 virgins.
 
K

Sunkset

Tom Mix's (Bruce Willis) producers want to expand the roles available to the stunt-riding cowboy. They junk his public image and reinvent him with an extravaganza of a film: Noah's Ark. He plays Noah, a new and serious character, though they do let him collect some of the animals by lariat.
Wyatt Earp (James Garner) was hired as a consultant for the Western pic Mix was GONNA make, but was necer informed it was canceled. He shows up, claims he's a consultant, is mistaken for a biblical expert rabbi, and whisked off to the very wet soundstage for the first scenes.
The running gag is Mix asking, "Did I do anything wrong?" And a confused Earp, who hasn't read three words of the Bible since fourth grade, shrugging. "I didn't see no mistakes."
 
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