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Movie alphabet

P

The Good, The Bad, And The Pugly

Clint Eastwood's familiar nameless drifter character as a bounty hunter after a criminal who is a master of disguise (Peter Sellars, who has fifteen roles in the movie NOT COUNTING his appearances as the disguised embezzler). But no matter how he is dressed, or what accent he used, or how much makeup, his yippy little dog will recognize him.
Thus, the high plains gunslinger must care for and protect the arrogant, aggressive, ankle-biting, little beast who will fight a puma for a strip of bacon.
 
Q

A Queen is Drowned.

Alternate time line in which the boat sinks, drowning the young Princess Elizabeth as she is being transported to the Tower during the reign of Queen Mary. Turmoil follows the death of Queen Mary as the succession is extremely unclear.
 
T

Stinging in the rain.

Earth is overrun by a race of beings who have the appearance and weaponry of bees, but stand on their hind legs to the height of a small walllaby.

A sting makes humans co-operative to the invaders but is antidoted by water and the beings themselve dissolve in heavy enough rain.
 
spikepipsqueak said:
T

Stinging in the rain.

Earth is overrun by a race of beings who have the appearance and weaponry of bees, but stand on their hind legs to the height of a small walllaby.

A sting makes humans co-operative to the invaders but is antidoted by water and the beings themselve dissolve in heavy enough rain.
Click to expand...

I thought we banned M Night Shamylan (sp).
 
U

Fuzz ---> Fzz

Brt Reynolds and Raqel Welch as New York cops who go undercover. They have an anonymous tip that a local soft drink bottler is contaminating the sodas. It's not CO2 fizzing the Coke, says the unknown informant...
The movie did not age well. Enough fart jokes to be an Adam Sandler flick. Too early for jokes about a 'major coke bust.' One attempt at a Mormon joke, but they confused coffee with tea.
And any jokes about Welch's sex symbol status seem formulaic, like the writers were expecting Twiggy, and at the last second Welch's hiring forced them to make one boob joke every 20 minutes.
Tom Skerritt shines, though, as the district undercover coach. His every appearance is a brief stop on his way to or back from an assignment.
Det. Bert Kling as a one-legged man off to enforce handicapped parking.
Kling as a homeless man back from cleaning windows of suspicious taxis at street corners.
Kling as a nun tracking smuggled communion wafers from Kenya. ("Why would we care, Bert?" "KENYA, Steve!" "And?" "They worship Black Jesus in Kenya!" "Bert, it's the same Jesus." "No! Sister Mary Incognita made it quite clear to all of us that Jesus was white!")
Kling as a Navy sailor on liberty looking for prostitutes.
Kling as a news reporter doing man-on-the-street interviews, throwing in random questions of, "And what was the last crime you committed?" Fourteen arrests made by this ploy.
 
Keith&Co. said:
U

Fuzz ---> Fzz

Brt Reynolds and Raqel Welch as New York cops who go undercover. They have an anonymous tip that a local soft drink bottler is contaminating the sodas. It's not CO2 fizzing the Coke, says the unknown informant...
The movie did not age well. Enough fart jokes to be an Adam Sandler flick. Too early for jokes about a 'major coke bust.' One attempt at a Mormon joke, but they confused coffee with tea.
And any jokes about Welch's sex symbol status seem formulaic, like the writers were expecting Twiggy, and at the last second Welch's hiring forced them to make one boob joke every 20 minutes.
Tom Skerritt shines, though, as the district undercover coach. His every appearance is a brief stop on his way to or back from an assignment.
Det. Bert Kling as a one-legged man off to enforce handicapped parking.
Kling as a homeless man back from cleaning windows of suspicious taxis at street corners.
Kling as a nun tracking smuggled communion wafers from Kenya. ("Why would we care, Bert?" "KENYA, Steve!" "And?" "They worship Black Jesus in Kenya!" "Bert, it's the same Jesus." "No! Sister Mary Incognita made it quite clear to all of us that Jesus was white!")
Kling as a Navy sailor on liberty looking for prostitutes.
Kling as a news reporter doing man-on-the-street interviews, throwing in random questions of, "And what was the last crime you committed?" Fourteen arrests made by this ploy.
Click to expand...

I'd watch that. :D
 
V

Baby Drier

Set in the 1950s, Baby was very close with her mother who was a singer. Her father was an alcoholic who abused her. When the parents got into a fatal car accident while arguing, Baby was sent to live with her Aunt, who utterly lacked any knowledge or skill related to raising a baby. After Baby's first bath, the Aunt tries to dry her off. First, in a newfangled General Electric clothes dryer, but that made Baby cry and made Auntie dizzy watching her go round and round. So she tried a Columbia brand wringer, which not only made Baby dry inside and out, but enabled the Aunt to fold her neatly and place her on a shelf in the linen closet.
 
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X

E-Files - Tax return driven thriller as a local everyman Ted Boller (Liam Niesen) forgot to do his taxes. With only 11 minutes before the deadline passed, Boller has to summon super human strength to know where the hell every important tax form is.

He can’t. With only 8 minutes left, he throws caution to the wind and just begins making things up.

Finally on a roll, his momentum is crushed when 5 year old daughter asks for a drink of water!

Water down and tucked back in bed, Ted rushes to his computer with 3 minutes left which is restarting due to a software upgrade. Everything lost, he must start over.

Booted up, with a passion only witnessed while cyber Monday shopping, Ted Boller restarts his tax return. He enters in information with tactile imprecision, he looks at the clock, 42 seconds. He simply doesn’t have time to enter all of his dependents social security numbers!

Almost... there... done... the software checks his info. It says it is good enough. He clicks to e-file, but because he is down 1 dependent, he owes money! His wallet is in the kitchen. He dashes faster than Usain Bolt into the Kitchen, grabs his wallet, dashes back... 15 seconds. He enters the numbers... flips the card over... enters the last three. Clicks OK, 3 seconds... The e-file prompt is up. He clicks it... with no time to spare, he has submitted his taxes. Relieved, he goes up to his bedroom.

“What was all that rush?”

“Got the taxes done. I forgot about them.” A sheepish look on his face.

“Wow, you got the federal and state taxes done in 15 minutes?”

Ted’s face dropped. “State?”

A huge explosion of sound erupted downstairs. State police are yelling and shouting, storm upstairs and apprehend Ted.

Film closes as the state police drive him away for failing to timely file his taxes. Credits roll in silence.
 
Y

Groundhog Dad

Bill Murray stars in this bestiality porn flick. His antics enrage the citizens of Punxsutawney PA, but he is rescued from their wrath by Andie McDowell who has an extreme crush on him. That is, until she finds out why the people are so mad at him. At that point she utters the now famous line "WHAT? YOU FUCKED A GODDAM MARMOT?"
 
Z

The Japp Singer - Racist Disney comedy spoof of The Jazz Singer made in 1951 when it wasn't quite considered that racist. Regardless, some time in the 70s, the masters of this film were encased in concrete and sunk to the ocean floor somewhere in the Laurentian Abyss. The Japp Singer Savior is a short documentary about Richard Spencer's efforts to recover the film.

A

The Jizz Singer - Ron Jeremy porn spoof of The Jazz Singer.
 
B

The Lob

IThe storyline concerns a growing, corrosive, alien amoeboidal entity that crashes to Earth from outer space inside a meteorite. It devours and dissolves citizens in the small communities of Phoenixville and Downingtown, PA, growing larger, redder, and more aggressive each time it does so, eventually becoming larger than a building.
Then it incorporates itself to become the world's largest single-celled super-PAC, The Lob (short for lobbyist). After a very successful career influencing Washingto, it runs for, and devours, Congress.
 
E

Lock Up ----> Locke Up

Remake of Lock Up, about which Stallone once said, "(It was) Not a film that was produced and performed with enough maturity to really make a significant impact on the audience or my career. And that’s the truth.”

Plot: A model prisoner at a low-security prison, nearing the end of his sentence, is moved to a sadistic warden's maximum-security prison, because the prisoner once tattled on the warden's misdoings elsewhere.
In the remake, Stallone's character has spent his prison time among white supremacists in order to avoid trouble with the other gangs. Donald Sutherland 's warden forces actransfer to his prison to introduce Stallone to the works of John Locke, including the social contract and other ideas woven into the Declaration of Independence.
There are no gangs in the new prison, just schools of thought. Of course, philosophical debate still involve someone getting shanked in the shower, but at least it's honest debate.
 
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