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Movie alphabet

U

Deep Rusing. (1998, Horror/comedy)

Treat Williams ferries a group of mercenaries out to commit piracy on a disabled luxury liner. To their shock, some sort of sea monsters have eaten the crew, passengers, and the buffet. Williams had skipped breakfast, and was really counting on the buffet.
The pirates keep looking for any loot, while the monsters pick them off, one by one. Williams tries to fight his way back to his boat, making very obscure references to Odysseus trying to get home after Troy fell.
Finally, he staggers to the weatherdeck, the sole survivor. Inches away from his escape, he sees his boat is covered with balloons and an April Fool's banner.
Turns out it was all a staged prank, put on by his brother. The monsters and partially-digested victims unmask, the pirates reveal themselves as frat brothers of the brother, and the brewskis flow.
 
Backwards, now?

Okay.

W

Backwards ---> Back ARDS

When a fiercely competitive rower fails to make the Olympic boat for the second time, she is diagnosed with Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome. Ending her athletic career forever, she takes a coaching job at her hometown high school. Back home, now, she struggles to adjust to life off the race course. She also struggles with her ARDS. And with some teachers still here from her time, and remember some of her shenanigans. And with students who are children of former classmates, some of whom brag about, while others try to live down, those same shenanigans.
 
X

Repo Max.

Max is a con man who fulfils all his needs and whims by "repossessing" whatever he wants when he spots something that appeals to him.

The film is the story of the reaction of one of his victims who was quite fond of her car and tracked down many other people who had fallen foul of him.
 
Y

The Man With The Golden Gunny

A buddy flick about two vets. One's a former Navy Commander, a pilot once shot down over Iraq. The other one's a Marine Gunnery Sargeant who may have died in the effort to rescue the pilot.
It's kind of iffy whether the Marine is a ghost, guardian angel, or just a really subtle guy that people don't notice much. Except really laid back people they run into, like a psychic, a Wiccan priestess, a Lebowski-style 'Dude,' and a surfer who compliments Gunny's tan.

The two (or the one(?)) search Florida for the Gunny's daughter with an undisclosed message for her. Maybe Gunny's last words, maybe her grandmother's pecan pie recipe.
 
Z

The Wizard of O

Movie-within-a-movie comedy about two frat brothers at an unspecified college in LA (though it was filmed in Billings, Montana). They meet in a film studies course, in 1994 and over beers discover that each is in line to inherit the rights to a famous movie's script. Tom is 23rd in line to own 'Wizard of Oz.' Jamie is 44th to inherit 'The Story of O.'
Tom quips, 'One good plague and we're in the money!'
For the next three semesters they spend their idle time reworking both scripts into a sexy romp through a fantasy world of strange beasts and stranger practices.

The screen blanks, then a caption says, "2020. Year of The Plague."

Jamie, clearing out...everything after the death of...everyone, finds The Wizard of O script. The front page is a list of everyone who has to die to make this a reality. Four names are already struck through on the yellowed paper. He crosses two more off just from the top of his head.
Seventeen phone calls later, Tom texts him. There's no context, but he doesn' need it. The text reads: "Can we get Olivia Munn for Dot?"
 
A

Bot-man - Super hero film (I know, so original), about a guy who is bitten by radioactive javascript code which gives him the power to automate comments responses online. He somehow uses this power to save the day. *like*
 
B

At-Man

Another superhero movie (even more original), about a guy who figured out a way to dominate the entire Twitter platform with novel applications of the "@" sign. Ends up murdered (Epsteined) by Donald Trump's goons when he makes the poor decision to go visit Bill Gates in Seattle.
 
C

Bact Man

Not all mutants in the Marvel universe have powers that promote them to the head of the line when recruiting for the X-Men, Avengers, or even the West Coast Avengers.

Bact(eria) Man has the ability to increase or decrease the population of one type of bacteria in one person by 10% every 14.35 minutes. Nothing visible happens, nothing to feel, and the results can take days to become apparent. His superhero career starts 5 minutes into the fim and ends 5 minutes later. Walking past people, adjusting the good or bad bacteria in their system, and saying, 'You're welcome, citizen!' in a booming voice just gets the cops to follow you along for a while.

He ends up on a hospital's janitorial staff, giving some patients a boost, one way or another.
He saves the 'You're welcome, citizens!' for on the way home. On the subway. Transit cops follow him around for a while.
 
D

Dat Man.

Set in the Carribean with gorgeous background scenery, this is a standard rom-com.

Woman sees man. Woman pursues man. Man expresses reservations. Woman overrules reservations. Man succumbs and lives happily ever after, as instructed.
 
E

Eat Man

Here's a film that can't quite figure out its own message. Starting out as an adventure story about a plane crash high in the Andes Mountains, the title is the protagonist's line to a fellow passenger upon discovering that not only did they and a few others survive, but so did the plane's galley. The rest of the film tries to go all philosophical, as the survivors wonder if the now frozen bodies of the less lucky passengers might be tasty.
 
G

Bag Man

Four crooks rob a bank in Gotham. Three notice the ominous music, toss their loot to the 4th, and run off into the night.
The fourth man walks to the getaway car, wondering where everyone went.
Sitting in the vehicle he sees two things on the dashboard. A pair of handcuffs and a bat-shaped shuriken. He sighs and dons the cuffs.
 
J

Kathmandju

Emily Latella, travels to the Nepal capitol in search of a famous weretiger rabbi: The Cat-Man-Jew.
 
K

Batman - The Darn Night

Bruce Wayne having conquered his fear of bats needed to conquer his fear of darkness.

Two hours, no Batman, just a kid and the dark. Like they took Lemony Snicket’s book and slapped Batman’s name on it.

Still... much better than Batman and Robin, even if we have to go through another time of seeing his parents killed... again. What, Bruce’s parents competing with Romeo and Juliet for most times ax’d on camera?
 
L

Blat Man

Trolls invade Gotham. Too big, too tough, and too strong for even Batman to defeat, they are finally routed by a man who makes sounds like a goat. He bleats, they run. To be precise, his blats are the blats of the third Billy Goat Gruff. Billy the Badass.
Turns out the nursery story is historical.
 
M

Bat Can

A horror movie. In the movie, a man puts several bats into a can and smuggles them into a horror movie. When the bats are released at a peak moment of tension and anticipation, he is ready with cameras, and films the ensuing mayhem for use in the horror film "Bat Can". It works so well that he films the selquel, Bat Can II, smuggling another can of bats into a showing of Bat Can I. Bat Can III was likewise filmed during a showing of Bat Can II.
The cops finally intervene when Bat Can VII comes out.
 
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