Things that make you laugh, or scream about idiots....
The doctor's office has a new policy. That's fine.
I have to sign the form acknowledging their new policies. Great.
There's a whole page of policies, some new, some updated, some unchanged. Minimum time to reschedule, penalties for being late or missing, etc. Not a problem.
The clerk at the counter offers me the page and a pen and i start to read the policies. I must assume that she was just expecting me to sign it and hand it back. "I'll give you a copy once i scan it," she tells me.
"Uh huh." I continue reading.
"You can read it at your leisure," she says helpfully. I acknowledge that this is true. And go on reading.
"I just need you to sign it," she says. I stop, put the unsigned sheet face down on the counter and look her in the eye.
"The entire point of my signature is that i understand what this paper says and agree to it. I saw that one of the paragraphs starts with 'I hereby authorize...' There's just not a chance in Hell that i'm going to sign that sheet of paper without actually reading it."
"But i cannot help the next patient until you sign that so i can scan it," she points out.
"And I've lived in the United States far too long to sign any agreement without reading it first."
"Most people just sign it and take it home," she whined. Well, i thought, it sucks to be them.
"There was a guy at the mall trying to get signatures on a petition to end animal cruelty by ending animal acts in the circus. He had five pages of signatures. But i read the petition and it was a demand that women be legally prevented from working outside of the home in violation of God's decrees and the Natural Order. Should i have signed that without looking?"
"IS THAT WHAT THAT WAS?" the woman behind me shrieked.
"Great," the guy at the end of the line bitched. "Now EVERYONE's going to read that damned form..."
