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Things that make you laugh...

We toured the Museum of Pop Culture in Seattle. At one point, saw a music video. Seven women, identically dressed, marching/dancing in synch, carrying two poles to keep them in line, in move.

After we left the museum, my dad started asking who the group was. Never heard the song before, didn't recognize the video. Dad shrugged and when we got back to our hotel, went off to look for it online.

Turned out to be The Chemical Brothers: Go.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO2RPDZkY88

Dad was just amazed at how long it took him. Who'd have thought there were THAT many results for a search for online videos of women pole-dancing?
 
Keith&Co. said:
Dad was just amazed at how long it took him. Who'd have thought there were THAT many results for a search for online videos of women pole-dancing?
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CR;JQ :lol:

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ETA for clarification: CR;JQ = "can't rep; just quote"

;)
 
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So, after the week vacation in Seattle, wife flew home while i had a week business trip.
She got home shortly after our oldest arrived with his girlfriend. Probably kind of significant, that he brought her home to meet the parents (and in character that he chose the week i was out of town to do it).

Her main comment on the girl is 'she seems kind of bossy for my tastes.'
Can't IMAGINE why he'd be attracted to a bossy girl. Certainly not going to comment or try to interpret her impression of his taste...

I'd rather get a needle in the eye than make a comment, and i have that scheduled for Wednesday...
 
So, the conversation swung around to a mascot for the training office.

The first suggestion was a baboon. I said that was like a pit bull with opposable thumbs.
Same coworker was surprised to learn that chimps, his second choice, grow up big enough to rip your arms off.
Worked our way down the list in a spiral of decreasing lethality.

Then we leaned towards red pandas, but if lethality isn’t an issue, legality is.
Or diet. Trying to get eucalyptus for a koala, for example.

There was a brief discussion about a big cat, but there was a concern people might not take proper precautions if word got out that there was a cougar up in Training... I mean, WE would say, it's your own damned fault for eating tuna before coming up here. THEY would say they thought we meant that our supervisor was on the prowl. SHE would say that she wasn't even 40, yet. And the conversation would go down from there...

We finally decided that what we need is a fainting goat.
And when our manager comes into the office and our goat faints, we threaten to file a grievance because WHAT DID YOU DO TO OUR GOAT!?!
 
Keith&Co. said:
We finally decided that what we need is a fainting goat.
And when our manager comes into the office and our goat faints, we threaten to file a grievance because WHAT DID YOU DO TO OUR GOAT!?!
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Obviously they got your goat!
 
Flagrantly paraphrased from Citizen of Arcterra on Twitter:

Neo-Nazis: let's commit genocide
Antifa: let's not
BLM: please don't kill us
Centrist: I can't tell them apart!
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If all three of the above sound "exactly as bad" to you, then you have a pro-fascist bias. There is no nice way to say it. You are a Nazi apologist.
 
There was a little boy at the supermarket this afternoon. Four, five years old.
Walking around, showing everyone his glare. It was a good glare. Head tilted forward, eyes half-obscured, a frown that Oscar the Grouch would envy.
I thought that his picture would make a good internet meme. But then i remembered that taking pictures of other people's children gets rape whistles blown, pedophile shouted, mobs with torches and pitchforks...

He came over to glare at me. I laughed at him.
This actually ticked him off, so he glared even harder. A full grimace!
I laughed some more.
He stomped his foot and showed teeth.

I knelt down beside him. "Don't try to scare me, kid. I was in the Navy and i've made grown men pee their pants."
He ran to hide behind his mother.

Men?
Well...
No need to tell him it was 1 man...
Who pissed himself trying to get out of a confined space after i farted...
But still, I DID make a grownup pee his pants! It counts!
 
The Adult Fan Fiction site has a listing of codes for the story you post. Helps people decide if they want to read your story. "Furry" might draw them in, it might keep them away. Either way, no one should be posting a review saying 'I'm disappointed that you had Character ___ doing ____ with a ____' if it was in the story code on the preview.

I spend a tiny bit more attention to the story summary, myself. If there are a bunch of misspellings, i know that the story will give me a headache. If they say 'I suck at summaries, read to find out what the story is about' i have no interest. But what amuses me are the long lists of story codes. LOOOOOOOOOONG lists. This story has: 3Plus Anal BDSM Beast Bond Contro DP Fingering Fist Inc Minor1 Minor2 OC Oral Other Preg Rape SandM Slave Tent Tort Violence

Chapters: 1

Yeah, i'm betting there's a lot of character development in that chapter...
 
Keith&Co. said:
The Adult Fan Fiction site has a listing of codes for the story you post. Helps people decide if they want to read your story. "Furry" might draw them in, it might keep them away. Either way, no one should be posting a review saying 'I'm disappointed that you had Character ___ doing ____ with a ____' if it was in the story code on the preview.

I spend a tiny bit more attention to the story summary, myself. If there are a bunch of misspellings, i know that the story will give me a headache. If they say 'I suck at summaries, read to find out what the story is about' i have no interest. But what amuses me are the long lists of story codes. LOOOOOOOOOONG lists. This story has: 3Plus Anal BDSM Beast Bond Contro DP Fingering Fist Inc Minor1 Minor2 OC Oral Other Preg Rape SandM Slave Tent Tort Violence

Chapters: 1

Yeah, i'm betting there's a lot of character development in that chapter...
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In medias res in more ways than one.
 
Keith&Co. said:
The Adult Fan Fiction site has a listing of codes for the story you post. Helps people decide if they want to read your story. "Furry" might draw them in, it might keep them away. Either way, no one should be posting a review saying 'I'm disappointed that you had Character ___ doing ____ with a ____' if it was in the story code on the preview.

I spend a tiny bit more attention to the story summary, myself. If there are a bunch of misspellings, i know that the story will give me a headache. If they say 'I suck at summaries, read to find out what the story is about' i have no interest. But what amuses me are the long lists of story codes. LOOOOOOOOOONG lists. This story has: 3Plus Anal BDSM Beast Bond Contro DP Fingering Fist Inc Minor1 Minor2 OC Oral Other Preg Rape SandM Slave Tent Tort Violence

Chapters: 1

Yeah, i'm betting there's a lot of character development in that chapter...
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I love it when I see one like that, or worse, having practically every code, and the in the description is that it is pwp, or slash/crack, or even better that it is less than a thousand words long.

Yeah, cuz I never expected to see fully formed short stories but with adult content, noooo, we can't have those on adultfanfiction sites. Seeing too many of those pwps, and the seeing them get rave reviews for plot and character development, is why I stopped posting . . . or going.
 
DolphinDynasty said:
Yeah, cuz I never expected to see fully formed short stories but with adult content, noooo, we can't have those on adultfanfiction sites. Seeing too many of those pwps, and the seeing them get rave reviews for plot and character development, is why I stopped posting . . . or going.
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Yeah.
Then _I_ get criticism for having three chapters before the sex. "You should warn people!"

Sorry but there's no story code for 'unusual attempt at realistic characters.'
 
Eight.

So, they recently developed an updated version of the missile on trident subs.
At the same time, they updated certain pieces of equipment including the guidance system and the flight control electronics. There will be a while distributing this change through the fleet and installing new gear in the missiles.

So we just got a brief on backwards compatibility. They are compatible. The old and new missile can both use the old and new GS, and the old and new FCEA. They're trying to limit the sailors' chances to screw this up.
The guy giving the training says: There are only 8 acceptable configurations. And he offered a graphic.
MSL; GS; FCEA
Mod 0, Mod 0, Mod 0
Mod 0, Mod 0, Mod 1
Mod 0, Mod 1, Mod 0
and so on.
I raised my hand. "You say there's only 8 acceptable configurations?"
"Exactly."
"But...there only ARE 8 configurations possible..."
"No, they might... They might... Um... I know there's...."
"Wouldn't it simplify training if we didn't try to list all 8 possible configurations and say they're okay? Just say they're all compatible?"

So now I'm waiting for my boss to call me in and explain why I shouldn't make senior technical representatives cry.
 
Keith&Co. said:
So now I'm waiting for my boss to call me in and explain why I shouldn't make senior technical representatives cry.
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It was a long wait before my boss had the time to see me and discuss the problems with my attitude. I needed something to occupy my time...

I maked a flip book!

You know, mix and match and it works no matter what partial page is there?

0507064eb0a1079e8d72397b9f2bad03.jpg

I have crayons on hand. Because I work in training and sometimes we have to create training aids for officers. So I drew a Mod 1 missile: Mod 1 Command sequencer, Mod 1 Guidance System, Mod 1 FCEA.

I drew another missile with all Mod 0 stuffies. And cut the page into three strips for CS, GS and FCEA. And bound them together. And lined up the interfaces so that the missile functioned in all 8 configurations.

And produced this as a training aid, showing, for the math challenged, that there's only 8 possible configurations and they all work.

And the man who left me alone without adult supervision for WAY too long refuses to acknowledge any responsibility for the results...
 
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