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Things that make you laugh...

The 'Monty Python Marathon' should probably be followed by several Mel Brooks classics.

[Blazing Saddles, History of the World/part 1, Young Frankenstein, The Producers, Robin Hood/Men in Tights, Silent Movie, High Anxiety....]
 
Old Woman in Purple said:
The 'Monty Python Marathon' should probably be followed by several Mel Brooks classics.

[Blazing Saddles, History of the World/part 1, Young Frankenstein, The Producers, Robin Hood/Men in Tights, Silent Movie, High Anxiety....]
Click to expand...
She was a Mel Brooks fan, years ago.

Then i let our oldest, at the age of six, watch Blazing Saddles. Cautioned him that there were words he should not use in public. THOUGHT we covered the topic in sufficient depth.


Nect day, alllllll the kids at daycare ran up to the fence any time a parent arrived and shouted "WHERE DA WHITE WOMEN AT.!?!?"
 
So... intense pains in lower chest, center abdomen.

No other discomfort, no loss of alertness, blood pressure consistent with a shitload of pain, blood sugar standard for post-evening-meal.

Paramedic gives me four aspirin. Instructs me to chew them. I make bleh face.
No, no, she says. They're chewable aspirin.

I remember chewable medication from my childhood. The stuff was half sugar and orange flavor. Tasted like flintstones vitamins...

Chew enthusiastically.

Flakes across my teeth, tastes like the cardboard box childhood meds were shippped in... slight citric-acid aftertaste. Look at paramedic accusingly as they strap me to gurney. "These aren't all that chewable."

Ignores me, takes the radio...

"BMC, patient is alert, responsive, and a smartass."
 
Keith&Co. said:
"BMC, patient is alert, responsive, and a smartass."
Click to expand...

So, that was about 1130.
Today, my boss played for me the message I left on his answering machine.
"Hey, Josh, it's about 0430, just got back from the Emergency Room, not coming in today."

Evidently an ALERT employee might have put a LITTLE more information into the message. Like whether or not _I_ was the one taken to the ER, or one of my kids, and whether or not anyone was DYING.

Managers, huh? Who can tell what they think is important in a 'not coming to work today' message... Probably wouldn't accept 'can't come to work today, the dog ate my heart medicine,' either.
 
Just found another tab from one of the EKG's they gave me Tuesday.
I'm afraid to pull it off, though.

The tabs that the ER applies have a sort of gummy adhesive. They tug at the chest or leg hairs, but not too painfully.
The tabs from the ambulance are apparently designed to stick in place no matter what happens to the patient. There are bare patches on my chest where they ER nurse pulled those things off, ripping hair out by the roots.

In the ambulance, something tipped over and yanked all my EKG leads. It pulled at the one superglued in place right over my heart and for a second I thought I was finally having an actual heart attack. I yipped in pain.
The paramedic assumed that I was being yanked around by the oxygen canula in my nose.
Adjusting that, she steps on the case that's yanking my test leads, ripping out more hairs...

The air hose is perfectly fine, so she can't find the problem she assumes is there. Checks it four times while I'm trying to flip over my own shoulder to relieve the tugging pain... Eventually sorted it out.

Later, when they wheeled me into ER. Random nurse, trying to find a room for me, asked what I was suffering from. "I'm suffering from transport!" I said. They laugh, thinking I was joking...

For this last sticker, I figure if I leave it in place, eventually all the skin cells it's attached to will die and slide off, right? I can wait.
 
Keith&Co. said:
Keith&Co. said:
"BMC, patient is alert, responsive, and a smartass."
Click to expand...

So, that was about 1130.
Today, my boss played for me the message I left on his answering machine.
"Hey, Josh, it's about 0430, just got back from the Emergency Room, not coming in today."

Evidently an ALERT employee might have put a LITTLE more information into the message. Like whether or not _I_ was the one taken to the ER, or one of my kids, and whether or not anyone was DYING.

Managers, huh? Who can tell what they think is important in a 'not coming to work today' message... Probably wouldn't accept 'can't come to work today, the dog ate my heart medicine,' either.
Click to expand...

Americans are strange. It would be unlawful for my boss to ask for more information. All he needs to know is that I am unavailable for work and have a medical certificate. It's none of his business what my medical condition is.
 
bilby said:
Keith&Co. said:
Keith&Co. said:
"BMC, patient is alert, responsive, and a smartass."
Click to expand...

So, that was about 1130.
Today, my boss played for me the message I left on his answering machine.
"Hey, Josh, it's about 0430, just got back from the Emergency Room, not coming in today."

Evidently an ALERT employee might have put a LITTLE more information into the message. Like whether or not _I_ was the one taken to the ER, or one of my kids, and whether or not anyone was DYING.

Managers, huh? Who can tell what they think is important in a 'not coming to work today' message... Probably wouldn't accept 'can't come to work today, the dog ate my heart medicine,' either.
Click to expand...

Americans are strange. It would be unlawful for my boss to ask for more information. All he needs to know is that I am unavailable for work and have a medical certificate. It's none of his business what my medical condition is.
Click to expand...
It wasn't a 'for business purposes' thing.
It's about the people I've worked beside for almost 18 years being kind of worried about me if I drop off the face of the earth without warning.
Do we send a card? Flowers? A monetary donation in lieu of flowers?
Was he sick or finally involved in a shootout the faceless forces of an uncaring bureaucracy?
Whose name on the card? Was it him? His wife? One of their kids?
All those questions of concern that he was unequipped to answer due to the brevity of my report.
 
bilby said:
Americans are strange. It would be unlawful for my boss to ask for more information. All he needs to know is that I am unavailable for work and have a medical certificate. It's none of his business what my medical condition is.
Click to expand...

So "endangered marsupial" is all you have to tell him?
 
Wiploc said:
bilby said:
Americans are strange. It would be unlawful for my boss to ask for more information. All he needs to know is that I am unavailable for work and have a medical certificate. It's none of his business what my medical condition is.
Click to expand...

So "endangered marsupial" is all you have to tell him?
Click to expand...

LOL - pretty much.

I took today off work. The totality of my communication with my boss was a post to our team 'out of office' Slack channel, which reads "Off sick today".
 
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, British scientists found
traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that
their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the British, in the weeks that followed, an American
archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story
published in the New York Times: "American archaeologists, finding traces of
250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an
advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the
British".

One week later, Australia's Northern Territory Times, reported the
following:

"After digging as deep as 30 feet in his backyard in Tennant Creek, Northern
Territory, aboriginal Billi Bunji, a self-taught archaeologist, reported
that he found absolutely fuck-all.
Billi has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Australia had already
gone wireless..."

Makes me feel bloody proud to be Australian!
 
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