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Things that make you laugh...

Keith&Co. said:
I muttered something like, "Even my son would accept that statement at this point, and he's an English major with OCD." Guy I was telling it to laughed.
Objection hire spun around and asked 'What's wrong with English Majors?'

Ah. Clearly, the problem is that I'm not as quiet as I think I am...
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I think you know exactly how loud you were being, and it's too bad you couldn't reply with "as long as they arn't anally retentive fucksticks." :P

Keith&Co. said:
Buddy, you want to waste all our time on meaningless points, I will spend ten minutes in the hall not telling you that I never went to college.

It's a petty revenge, but it's the middle of the week. Petty is what I can handle at this point.
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But that works as well, and is his just deserts.

As a serious aside (I know I'm sorry) but how long has this program been in development and is this usual for such a program?
 
paladin.oa said:
As a serious aside (I know I'm sorry) but how long has this program been in development and is this usual for such a program?
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In my corner of FBM? It's becoming a lot more usual. Various companies that support Fleet Ballistic Missiles keep vying for government dollars any time someone expresses discontent with the way X, Y, or Z corp administers something.

I think we've had this program in hand for, 10 years, I want to say?

There are a couple other contracts we've taken over. And a few we stood up but lost to someone else.

During the Cold War, General Dynamics bought out a bunch of companies. All over the board. As the wall came down, though, money's gotten tighter, and everyone's trying to streamline their operations. We're the company that the government trusts to do X, not Y.
 
Keith&Co. said:
paladin.oa said:
As a serious aside (I know I'm sorry) but how long has this program been in development and is this usual for such a program?
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In my corner of FBM? It's becoming a lot more usual. Various companies that support Fleet Ballistic Missiles keep vying for government dollars any time someone expresses discontent with the way X, Y, or Z corp administers something.

I think we've had this program in hand for, 10 years, I want to say?

There are a couple other contracts we've taken over. And a few we stood up but lost to someone else.

During the Cold War, General Dynamics bought out a bunch of companies. All over the board. As the wall came down, though, money's gotten tighter, and everyone's trying to streamline their operations. We're the company that the government trusts to do X, not Y.
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Hmm, interesting, so a ballistic missile guidance program? If this is in "if I tell you I have to kill you" territory then please don't tell me, I like living.
 
paladin.oa said:
Hmm, interesting, so a ballistic missile guidance program? If this is in "if I tell you I have to kill you" territory then please don't tell me, I like living.
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Hardly.
It's part of a suite that allows vendors and schools and the guys that adninister the schools to collaborate onnyyhe offishal curricula whereby we train sailors to operate and maintaing the equipment.

...including the guidance system for the SLBM, now tgat you mention it...
 
Paraphrased from social media:

Atheists have been predicting that Jesus won't come back for 2000 years. Why isn't anyone giving us credit for 2000 years of 100% accurate prophecies?
​
 
ZiprHead said:
Underseer said:
https://twitter.com/realrambogotier/status/1017215494108209152?s=19

Never occurred to you that He bankrupt the casinos in purpose because it was hurting poor people and He couldn't stomach it? #MAGA
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See that, libtards? He outsmarted you again! He bankrupted his businesses on purpose to help poor people! MAGA! MAGA! [/Satire]
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View attachment 16555
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When did  Just-so stories become evidence? It seems like every time I turn around conservatives and libertarians, who happen to use the same arguments to take the same positions on most of the same issues, are using just-so stories as valid evidence supporting conclusions.
 
Repost from the crafts forum

So, finally got around to the deggorating ceremony.

View attachment 16573

My sons were a little critical. I assured them that it's okay. I'm a decorated veteran. And these are costume medals.

They don't really care about 'stolen valor,' though. And they're not super upset about having to stand at attention, but apparently a Kazoo is no stand-in for a bosun's whistle.

To all who shell hear these presents, greeting: Let it be known that we find this individual to be beyond repoach. They have met our eggsacting demands in all respects, and even when in the wrong has always shown a sunny side up to their superiors. They have not cracked under pressure, nor had to scramble due to unpreparedness.

It is whisk great pride we do grant this award, reflecting our satisfaction in associating with such a good egg. I hope yolk kindly join me in acknowledging their potential, and help egg them on to even greater successes in the future.

In toastimony, I have caused these LetterS to be made patent and official.

By my hand, on this 14th of July, 2018
 
[ent]ldquo[/ent]Writing sucks, but not writing sucks more.[ent]rdquo[/ent]
[ent]mdash[/ent]Cheo Hodari Coker
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From an interview with Marc Bernadin and Kevin Smith. Context: answering a question about writer's block
 
Keith&Co. said:
To all who shell hear these presents,
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So, I get to work.
Presented the eggs.
Explained it was a pun.
Explained the pun.
To everyone.

Printed out the award.
First comment: You misspelled “Shall.”
No. I didn’t. It's shell. It’s a pun. An egg-themed pun.
OOooooooh!

Five minutes later, someone else, “you misspelled testimony.”
“It’s TOASTimony. As in eggs and toast. For breakfast.”
Oooooooh!
Oh, don’t even try at this point… Shut up.
 
Keith&Co. said:
Keith&Co. said:
To all who shell hear these presents,
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So, I get to work.
Presented the eggs.
Explained it was a pun.
Explained the pun.
To everyone.

Printed out the award.
First comment: You misspelled “Shall.”
No. I didn’t. It's shell. It’s a pun. An egg-themed pun.
OOooooooh!

Five minutes later, someone else, “you misspelled testimony.”
“It’s TOASTimony. As in eggs and toast. For breakfast.”
Oooooooh!
Oh, don’t even try at this point… Shut up.
Click to expand...

:shock: I'm so sorry. How do you survive these conditions?
 
Angry Floof said:
Keith&Co. said:
Keith&Co. said:
To all who shell hear these presents,
Click to expand...

So, I get to work.
Presented the eggs.
Explained it was a pun.
Explained the pun.
To everyone.

Printed out the award.
First comment: You misspelled “Shall.”
No. I didn’t. It's shell. It’s a pun. An egg-themed pun.
OOooooooh!

Five minutes later, someone else, “you misspelled testimony.”
“It’s TOASTimony. As in eggs and toast. For breakfast.”
Oooooooh!
Oh, don’t even try at this point… Shut up.
Click to expand...

:shock: I'm so sorry. How do you survive these conditions?
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Dit-dot bombs, mostly.
 
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