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Things that make you laugh...

It's a dog-eat-dog world and I'm wearing Milkbone underwear.
 
http://www.cnn.com/2016/04/05/polit...l-name-change1226AMVODtopLink&linkId=23099908
George Mason University recently renamed its law school after the late Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia -- and then quickly realized the acronym that name created was problematic. The school first announced it would change the name to The Antonin Scalia School of Law, or ASSoL, after receiving an anonymous $30 million donation on March 31.
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I HAVE to wonder if it was an accident or if someone, somewhere, is practicing his innocent look. "I'm surrounded by ASSoLs!"
 
Keith&Co. said:
http://www.cnn.com/2016/04/05/polit...l-name-change1226AMVODtopLink&linkId=23099908
George Mason University recently renamed its law school after the late Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia -- and then quickly realized the acronym that name created was problematic. The school first announced it would change the name to The Antonin Scalia School of Law, or ASSoL, after receiving an anonymous $30 million donation on March 31.
Click to expand...

I HAVE to wonder if it was an accident or if someone, somewhere, is practicing his innocent look. "I'm surrounded by ASSoLs!"
Click to expand...

If we thought you had $30 million lying around, we'd have figured it was you..... :cheeky:
 
When I went to the University of Wisconsin, we were given a bus pass that let us get free bus rides in the city, to alleviate the terrible parking problems the UWM had. The pass was called the UPass. See where this is going? "Lets go downtown, do you have your up-ass card?"
 
My uncle was stationed in Kuwait with the RAF in 1990-91, where he encountered '11 Composite Squadron', a UN coalition force equipped with Tornado GR1 ground attack aircraft from a number of nations, whose original name was the Combined United Nations Tornado Squadron.
 
I'm attending a seminar at a Navy base. There are gaps of time between presentations. I brought a book to read.
A coworker was giving me crap about "A book? Do they still make those?"
At the quarterdeck, they told him he can't bring in any electronics. Including his phone, his pad, the thumb drive with his presentation on it, the medical alert bracelet that hooks up to any USB connection and has a PDF with is medical condition, doctor, insurance, medications, Everything the paramedics will need if he collapses. So he had to make a trip back to the car before the meeting started.

At the first break, he wanted to complain to me about how over-wrought the security is getting these says. I told him to leave me alone, i was reading my book.

Because the invitation had listed all the things we could NOT bring into the building... And paperbacks lack circuitry.
 
Flew to Seattle, got my luggage, waited for the shuttle to take us all to the Rental Car place.
Big bays next to the road where the shuttles load and unload.
Big signs at each bay, painted in letters two foot tall, saying not to park here, only the rental shuttles could be here.

So, three of us waiting for the shuttle stand there as a car pulls up and the driver runs inside the terminal. SOME of his family shows up, loads their suitcases and they go off to find the rest of teh family. He stays with his car.
Another car pulls up, parks on top of the lettering telling him not to do that.

With two cars there, four more cars dip in, figuring this is approved parking.

The guy next to me says, "I hope they leave before the shuttle arrives."
I said, "I think it'll be more entertaining if they don't."
Sure enough, as i finish talking, the shuttle, it arrives. So the driver parks out in the traffic lane, runs in amongst the parked cars, absolutely SCREAMING about how they can't be there, they have to move, he'll get them all ticketed.

1st driver shrinks in on himself, hoping to go without notice until his family shows up.

2nd driver starts screaming back. He's not really trying to say he has a right to be where he's at, but he is quite incensed that someone has the gall to scream at him.
All the other cars leave, filtering out in front of the shuttle rather easily because he's blocking the traffic they would have had to merge with.

Cop shows up on his bicycle. Shuttle driver is going off like a New York Cabbie, all kinds of threats and insisting that the drivers learn how to read traffic signs. Turns to the cop and screams for him to write these people tickets.
Cop just says, "You have to go."
Wife of driver #2 shows up, heaves her luggage into the trunk and sits in the car, quiet. But #2 won't go until he gets the cop to agree with him that the shuttle driver should not be shouting at him.
Cop is trying to resolve the situation without writing a ticket. Shuttle wants tickets. Or tows. #2 wants validation.

Driver #1 gets in his car and creeps slowly down the road, hoping against hope that his family will show up. They do JUST as he turns to go around the airport and come back. Crestfallen, they wonder if he's abandoned them. One of the now 8-10 people waiting for the shuttle tells them he's just circling around and suggests where they can stand for him to find them on the next loop.

Meanwhile, the cop finally pulls out his tickets. "Are you seriously going to stand here long enough for me to write you a ticket?"
"Well, he shouldn't have yelled-"
"If you obeyed the signs, he wouldn't have had a chance to yell at you. Now get in the car and leave or give me your registration."

Driver #2 leaves. My new friend looks up at me. "YOu're right. That was WAY more entertaining."

Shuttle drivers pulls up to park and barks out 'Rental Car Shuttle!'

I cheerfully ask, "Is there another show at 2?"
He stares. I'm sure he wanted to scream at me. Finally, he just says, "You're not as funny as you think you are."
So i get my luggage aboard, sit in the last row of seats. New Friend is one row ahead of me. He waits until the guy stops loading luggage, shuts the doors and starts driving to turn to me and say, "Yes, you are."

Made my week.
 
The thread about 'how much do you tell your kids' about our misspent youths reminded me about the gulf between now and fashions, TV shows, Music when i was growing up.

It wasn't my kids, but on my last submarine patrol, we watched The Wedding Singer. I think more than half the point of that movie was to make fun of the 80's.
And about every other scene, one of my younger shipmates would turn to me, "Keith? Do YOU remember Flock of Seagulls?"
"Did YOU watch Miami Vice?"
"Do you remember where YOU were when they found how why Bobby was in that shower?"

Actually, yes. We were in a hotel restaurant in Nottingham, England. I mentioned that the Dallas episode explaining that seasonal cliff-hanger was going to be playing in fifteen minutes, plenty of time to get up to our room and see it. The rest of the diners suddenly started calling for their checks. The place was empty in ten...
 
YAY! My wife is talking to me again!

Last night, i had a dream where i had some job at the mall and my task was to escort Monica Baccarin to a certain location for some event.
I was looking EVERYWHERE for her. Calling her name, announcements on the intercom... Then I had to admit to my wife that i couldn't do the job.
Her response was "I thought her first name was Morena?" I just turned around to go back through the mall when Morena evidently heard my wife say her name, stepped up and asked, "What?" I woke up about then.
So i told the wife. "I had this dream where i was running through the mall trying to find Monica Baccarin-"
Her instant response was "I thought her first name was Morena?"

Then i got froze out for a while, because apparently, where she grew up, screaming "GET OUTTA MY HEAD WITCH WOMAN!!!" is not considered a term of endearment... Go figure, huh?
 
The day my grandmother got her face caught in an old-time ringer washing machine. Tore her face clean off. Still laugh to this day.
 
Keith&Co. said:
YAY! My wife is talking to me again!

Last night, i had a dream where i had some job at the mall and my task was to escort Monica Baccarin to a certain location for some event.
I was looking EVERYWHERE for her. Calling her name, announcements on the intercom... Then I had to admit to my wife that i couldn't do the job.
Her response was "I thought her first name was Morena?" I just turned around to go back through the mall when Morena evidently heard my wife say her name, stepped up and asked, "What?" I woke up about then.
So i told the wife. "I had this dream where i was running through the mall trying to find Monica Baccarin-"
Her instant response was "I thought her first name was Morena?"

Then i got froze out for a while, because apparently, where she grew up, screaming "GET OUTTA MY HEAD WITCH WOMAN!!!" is not considered a term of endearment... Go figure, huh?
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:lol: Yes, you are
 
Remembering things from younger days made me wonder if I told you this story or not:

I was teaching 8-9 year olds about alliteration and the kids were expected to give us examples.

Now I should point out here that I am quite well endowed in a certain department, and the student in questions mother was not!

Anyway, I was getting the usual responses such as green grass, blue berries etc... And this one kid put his hand up, looked me up and and said 'Big Boobs'. The whole class laughed and I stood there trying not to laugh myself...

Later on, I related the story to his mother who said - that she didn't know where he got it from - unless he heard it from his father..
 
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