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Things that make you laugh...

I play a game in which I play an evil magician with an army of minions working toward my goals. I can speed up their work by whipping them. The game calls this "cheering" them.
 
This is serious - but it still made me giggle!

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A pipe of...something...burst in one of the walls outside our office.
Nothing visibly exciting, but something is seeping out of that wall and into several cubicles along the wall.

By some coincidence, almost all of the cubicles on that wall belong to women coworkers. The only guy was the one who complained that every time he moved his chair or his feet, there was an annoying squelch... And the smell... It's not water... Or it's not JUST water.

Anyway, the boss decided to temporarily move affected people to empty cubes at my end of the room. Needed to get a handle on who was affected, though. Bob said, "I'll find out."

Now HR wants to talk to me. I have NO idea why they left a note on my phone, but apparently they think of me when they hear that a guy walks into a series of women's cubes and asks 'Are you wet?'

I guess there were four conversations that went about:
'Are you wet?'
'What?'
'Do you have a wet spot?'
'Get the hell out of my cube!'
'I'm just trying to help the boss!'
'It's none of his business, either!'
'So you don't want to go with Christine. Okay.'
 
'Boaty McBoatface' Dominates Poll to Name Polar Research Ship

Anyone can submit a suggestion to the online poll. By Monday morning, "RRS Boaty McBoatface" had almost 10 times the votes of any other name. The "RRS Henry Worsley" — after a British explorer who died in January — was second with around 3,000 votes.

The website has been crashing over the weekend under the weight of the unexpected increase in traffic.

When contacted by NBC News early Monday, a staffer at the research council said no public affairs officials were available to speak because they were all in a "crisis meeting."
Click to expand...
 
Arctish said:
'Boaty McBoatface' Dominates Poll to Name Polar Research Ship

Anyone can submit a suggestion to the online poll. By Monday morning, "RRS Boaty McBoatface" had almost 10 times the votes of any other name. The "RRS Henry Worsley" — after a British explorer who died in January — was second with around 3,000 votes.

The website has been crashing over the weekend under the weight of the unexpected increase in traffic.

When contacted by NBC News early Monday, a staffer at the research council said no public affairs officials were available to speak because they were all in a "crisis meeting."
Click to expand...
Click to expand...

The Internet is full of hilarious assholes. These poor bastards had no idea what they got themselves into.
 
Mandatory survey at work. It was about our use of mass transit in the Berkshires and what the company or the bus company could do to up our participation.

The first question was: Would you take the bus to work if you had to?
My reply was: Who is the idiot that wrote this question? If I HAVE to take the bus, i'll take the bus. That's what 'have to' means. What sort of lip-reading moron would say 'no' to this question? I'll bet they work in Logistics. Do they? Did anyone over in Logistics say they would not take the bus if they had to?


Anonymous surveys are fun.
The only thing more fun would be if someone gave me crap over my answer so i can make a scene about them lying that it was anonymous.
 
Keith&Co. said:
Mandatory survey at work. It was about our use of mass transit in the Berkshires and what the company or the bus company could do to up our participation.

The first question was: Would you take the bus to work if you had to?
My reply was: Who is the idiot that wrote this question? If I HAVE to take the bus, i'll take the bus. That's what 'have to' means. What sort of lip-reading moron would say 'no' to this question? I'll bet they work in Logistics. Do they? Did anyone over in Logistics say they would not take the bus if they had to?


Anonymous surveys are fun.
The only thing more fun would be if someone gave me crap over my answer so i can make a scene about them lying that it was anonymous.
Click to expand...
You and I would get along so well if we worked together. Probably be in trouble a lot, too.

I think I told this story before, but as a tech writer, in a lot of my jobs I've also had to serve as scribe at meetings. (Shitty use of a technical writer, but would they listen to me?) Anyway, one day I was typing up my notes from the weekly staff meeting and wondered if anyone actually read them at all. So I decided to insert some stuff, such as "9:07. Matt decided to mosey in late with messy hair and generally looking like a ruffian."

No response for days, until the one manager who actually read the meeting notes called me about it, laughing so hard he couldn't talk. :D

Everyone read them after that, until the big boss told me to stop. :/ I responded by suggesting that using tech writers to take meeting notes was a waste of creativity and cleverness.
 
Years ago I went to a birthday party for a man I knew. It was a costume party and his costume was a baby. A grown ass man wearing nothing but a huge diaper with a huge pin in it and a bonnet and booties. He also had a pacifier on a strong around his neck.

He was straight and married, so someone thought it would be funny to give him a gag gift of a male stripper. He did not react well. He threw a little tantrum about it and then stomped off in his diaper and booties to his room and locked the door. One of the funniest things I've ever seen.
 
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