James Brown
Veteran Member
I couldn't believe my luck today. I got gas for only 99 cents!
Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell.
Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell.
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bilby
Fair dinkum thinkum
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- Strong Atheist
DrZoidberg
Contributor
Politesse
Lux Aeterna
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- Feb 27, 2018
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- Chochenyo Territory, US
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- nonbinary
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- Jedi Wayseeker
I feel like I could take down three penguins if I really had to. Wouldn't, though. They're supercute. And LGBT friendly. I would fully consider joining their invasion.
James Brown
Veteran Member
Darn those commas.
skepticalbip
Contributor
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- Everything we know is wrong (to some degree)
It isn't just your average tweeter. U.S. national news anchors on MSNBC have the same problem.
I was "ahead of him on the math" but didn't come to his conclusion. I just find it amazing that no one in the studio screamed at those anchors in their ear buds to "STFU, the tweet was unbelievable stupidity."
Elixir
Made in America
It's not the commas, it's the goddam zeros.
DrZoidberg
Contributor
SLD
Contributor
skepticalbip
Contributor
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- Everything we know is wrong (to some degree)
Indeed it is. Unfortunately they have much more than a vote. They, the MSNBC anchor and New York Times editor he was interviewing, influence the political opinions of millions of people. The question I have is if they are both really that dumb or if they know better but are intentionally trying to sway millions of voters they think are that dumb.
spikepipsqueak
My Brane Hertz
Tigers!
Contributor
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- On the wing, waiting for a kick.
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- Bible believing revelational redemptionist (Baptist)
We can ship better at night since the Suez have been cleared.
I told Dad jokes.
Sometimes he laughs.
I told Dad jokes.
Sometimes he laughs.
Tigers!
Contributor
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2005
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- 5,184
- Location
- On the wing, waiting for a kick.
- Basic Beliefs
- Bible believing revelational redemptionist (Baptist)
SLD
Contributor
It’s too late to make Suez Canal jokes. That ship has sailed.
- Joined
- Oct 22, 2002
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- Frozen in Michigan
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- Don't be a dick.
If anybody wants to sponsor me, I'm doing a 0.000000000002km run to raise awareness for laziness.
George S
Veteran Member
I need a sponsor for a brisk sit.
SLD
Contributor
Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
ideologyhunter
Contributor
A woman is driving her son to school and they get stuck behind a garbage truck. The truck goes over a bump and a dildo comes flying out and thumps on the woman's windshield. Totally embarrassed, she says, "Honey, did you see that poor bird?" The kid says, "How the hell does it fly with such a giant cock?"
- Joined
- Oct 22, 2002
- Messages
- 42,194
- Location
- Frozen in Michigan
- Gender
- Old Fart
- Basic Beliefs
- Don't be a dick.
A drunk man who smelled like hell sat down on a subway next to a priest:
The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.
He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked. "Say Father, what causes arthritis?"
The priest replies. "My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath."
The drunk muttered in response. "Well, I'll be damned." Then returned to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"
The drunk answered. "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does!"
The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.
He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked. "Say Father, what causes arthritis?"
The priest replies. "My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath."
The drunk muttered in response. "Well, I'll be damned." Then returned to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"
The drunk answered. "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does!"