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Joke gallery

skepticalbip

Contributor
Treasure of the Sierra Madre... a great old Western even if it didn't have the immortal line, "Badges? We ain't got no badges. We don't need no badges. I don't have to show you any stinking badges."
 

Loren Pechtel

Super Moderator
Staff member
As the 1960s were ticking down NASA was having a very hard time with the delta-v budget of going to the moon. Getting there wasn't a problem, having enough fuel to get home was a very big problem. This was eventually solved by the lunar rendezvous approach that was actually used (not taking the return fuel and supplies down to the surface) but before they settled on that they were considering another approach to Kennedy's challenge: Rocket #1 carries 5 years of supplies. If it lands safely rocket #2 lands next to it with a crew of one. There is no return stage. If they haven't solved the return problem in 5 years they have already shown they can send up another 5 years of supplies. Send another supply rocket, 5 more years to solve the problem.

If NASA had gone with this option would it have been a maroon shot rather than a moon shot??
 

none

Banned
As the 1960s were ticking down NASA was having a very hard time with the delta-v budget of going to the moon. Getting there wasn't a problem, having enough fuel to get home was a very big problem. This was eventually solved by the lunar rendezvous approach that was actually used (not taking the return fuel and supplies down to the surface) but before they settled on that they were considering another approach to Kennedy's challenge: Rocket #1 carries 5 years of supplies. If it lands safely rocket #2 lands next to it with a crew of one. There is no return stage. If they haven't solved the return problem in 5 years they have already shown they can send up another 5 years of supplies. Send another supply rocket, 5 more years to solve the problem.

If NASA had gone with this option would it have been a maroon shot rather than a moon shot??
It would have been a step in the right direction.
 

Jimmy Higgins

Contributor
Less a joke and more situational humor.

The world's toughest dare:

Person A: Well yeah... I dare you to update your firmware.

*group gasps*

Person B: But... but... my electronic device works perfectly fine.

Person A: What are you, a pussy?

Person B: *sweats*
 

Loren Pechtel

Super Moderator
Staff member
Less a joke and more situational humor.

The world's toughest dare:

Person A: Well yeah... I dare you to update your firmware.

*group gasps*

Person B: But... but... my electronic device works perfectly fine.

Person A: What are you, a pussy?

Person B: *sweats*

What sort of pervert do you think I am?? I don't flash!
 

Tigers!

Veteran Member
Last Friday Melbourne, Australia ended our 6th strict lock down with some relaxation of restrictions. Since March 2020 we have had 263 days in lockdown. What a record to have.

One of our jokes
Q: What day is the hardest of a 7 day strict lockdown?

(Where does the hide button live now?)

A: Day 55
 

hurtinbuckaroo

Veteran Member
A woman went to the emergency room, where she was seen by a young new doctor. After about 3 minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant.
She burst out of the room and ran down the corridor screaming.
An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was; after listening to her story, he calmed her down and sat her in another room.
Then the doctor marched down the hallway to the first doctor's room.
"What wrong with you?" he demanded. This woman is 63 years old, she has two grown children and several grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?!!"
The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said:
"Does she still have hiccups?"
 

hyzer

Senior Member
I brought a new GPS. The first trip with it was to a cemetery I'd never been to before.
It directed me fine but i was concerned it when announced upon arrival "You have reached your final destination"
At least it didn't say "proceed to the route . . . "
 

Tigers!

Veteran Member
A 320kg Argentine cow is a viral hit after being filming stumbling down a waterslide at a park 800kms west of Rio De Janeiro. It was reported that the beast was destined for the slaughterhouse before climbing to the top of the slide and going down.

Media outlets are milking this story for all it is worth.
 

Tigers!

Veteran Member
A 'Making your Marriage Better' was held in Australia.
The speaker noted that most Aust. husbands do not know their wife's favourite flower.
One man leaned across to his wife and said "That's not true. I know yours .Yours is the self raising flour".
 
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